Evan Hansen x (Female) Reader

Chapter 6

You entered the cafeteria, scanning through the sea of students. You were looking for him.

Evan Hansen. 

It had been a few days since he kissed your sister. You had been trying to get into contact with him, but he had completely ghosted you.  You sent him multiple texts, and he'd read them all. You e-mailed him 6 times. You even called him once or twice, but he never responded. You didn't want to speak with him face to face, but you had to. You needed answers.

 You searched through every table, scanning each face. You've seen them all before. Some of those faces had mocked you in the past, (for example, you saw Rox, who had once called you 'a spooky ass slut-faced cow bell', whatever that meant)  but most of the faces had been the ones who've ignored your existence since the beginning of high school.  The faces that ignored Connor. The faces that ignore anything they find uninteresting. Or threatening. Because if someone seems too scary or too boring to be approachable, then who cares about them? After all, it doesn't matter if they're struggling, because they don't matter. In high school, if you don't have social status, then you have nothing. That's just how it is, and you've accepted this. 

After a few minutes of scanning, you found him. You shimmied past the sweaty jocks and the sexually active band geeks and finally made your way over to his table.  He was staring at his sandwich, thinking about something. Connor used to do that. You wonder if he's thinking about Connor at that moment. Regardless, you sat down by him, nonchalantly. After all, you were in public, so you couldn't really cause a scene right then and there.

"Hey, dude. I've been looking all over for you." You say, grabbing his attention. He turns his whole body toward you, his cast visible. 

"Hey." He whispers, taking a bite out of the sandwich that he was just staring at. 

"Didja see what happened with Ms. Bortel yesterday? That shit was crazy, dude." You say, acting like you were high on pot.

"Oh, yeah.. It was kinda crazy. I wonder what that was all about.." He mumbles, a mix of concern and fear laced in his voice.

"You know, some people say she was having an affair with the principal, but I also heard that she slept with a student. I wonder what..." You paused mid sentence as you noticed the only other kids at the table had just walked away. You took this as your chance to bring up Zoe.

"Hello?" Evan asks, as you appear to be staring off into the void. You turn toward him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" You ask aggressively. Evan shifts in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with your change in demeanor. 

"W-what are you talking-"

"I mean, how DARE you kiss my little sister on my DECEASED brothers bed!? I find it offensive enough that you went into Connors room completely uninvited. But then, since that apparently wasn't enough, you decided to try and have a little make out session with Zoe in his room. And then you have the AUDACITY to pretend it never happened!?" You hiss as quietly as you can. You  were pissed, but you didn't need anyone overhearing your conversation. 

'Well, I-"

"Oh, and I don't know if it was you or your sleazy friend Jared who came up with the great idea to sell these pins with Connor's face on them, but either way, it's fucking disgusting. The fact that you would  try to capitalize off of my brothers passing is despicable. This isn't what he would've wanted at all.  I mean seriously. What the fuck!?" You clenched your hand into a tight fist as you ranted, taking out all of your anger on him. These past couple of days, you didn't have anyone to talk to. You were beyond angry about everything. You didn't mean to go off on him like that, but because Evan seems to be contributing to the issue, you felt justified in taking your anger out on him.