Evan Hansen x (Female) Reader

Chapter 7

The day had breezed by. Things were becoming semi-normal again at school. Minus the fact that you don't see Connor in the mornings at the breakfast table or in the halls or in 4th period or when you skip class or in the lunchroom or anywhere because he's dead and you'll never ever be able to see him or hear his voice or do anything with him ever again.  You anxiously picked at your cuticles as you sat alone at a table. Kids had stopped asking to sit with you and had stopped trying to be your friend. So, semi-normal. 

That was, until you were bombarded by Alana, Evan and Jared. First, Alana had approached you. She sat down next to you at the table. You smiled at her, assuming this would be just like all the other times when she would visit you. She would often come and sit next to you at lunch when you were sitting all by yourself. 

You were deep in thought, thoughtfully clicking away at your computer. You typically enjoyed writing, as it helped you release things that you wouldn't be comfortable sharing with anybody. But this assignment in particular wasn't exactly for pleasure. It was something you never even thought you would have to write: Connor's obituary. At first, things had seemed to be easy enough, but before you knew it,  you were stumped. You paused and reread the beginning,  hoping to get some sort of inspiration.

"Connor Murphy was born on April 20th, 1998 to Larry and Cynthia Murphy in Charlotte, NC. He had two sisters. His twin, Y/N and his younger sister, Zoe Murphy. He was the eldest of the Murphy children."

After that, you'd found yourself stumped. Obituaries usually talked about achievements and accomplishments and all that. But you realized Connor never really.. accomplished  very much. Part of it was because he had such a short life, as most people accomplish big things after college, and he hadn't even gradated high school yet. But even as a child, he'd never done too much. He didn't have any passion for music like Zoe or art like you or sports like your dad wanted him to have. He hadn't won very many awards or medals or anything worth mentioning. He didn't really excel at academics, even though he could have. He was so much smarter than anyone gave him credit for. So, you decided that, as morbid as it may be, you'd have to study obituaries to get a good idea of how to write one. 

You glanced over at Alana, who'd been hovering over you for a little while. She knew better than to disturb you when you were writing.

 "Connor's obituary, huh?" She spoke, and you nodded, smiling a sad smile.

"Yeah, I just started working on it. His funerals happening soon, and.."  You trailed off as you saw Evan and Jared heading over towards your table. Your smile dropped.

"Alana, what the hell is going on here?" You ask, and she sits down next to you. 

"Ah, so just out of curiosity, what are you doing after school," she asks. "Is your family going to be busy?" 

You shake your head. "Not that I know of. Why?" You respond, speaking slowly as you watch Jared and Evan finally make it over to your table. 

"Okay, so Evan and I had an amazing  idea, and we would love to get your input on it!" She says, and Evan makes a face. Judging by the look, and knowing Alana, you assume the idea was probably just his. 

"Ah.. yeah. We're calling it the Connor Project," he begins, and your heart drops to your stomach. "It's mostly a.. suicide prevention program.. meant to help people who are just like Connor. People who are alone and feel like there's no other option.. other than to let go." He continues, and you can feel your face getting warm. 

"So then, what's he  doing here?" You ask, glaring at Jared. "You do realize he was a complete dick to Connor, right?" You look over at Alana and Evan, before looking up at Jared. "Weren't you literally taunting him the day he died? Why do you think you have any right to pretend like you cared even a little bit about him when we all know good and well that you were part of what pushed him over the edge?  Something tells me he might have lived another day if you had  just kept your fucking mouth shut," you hiss. Silence falls upon them.