If I Was Your Man (BWS)

Sixty-Nine

*Maddie P.O.V*

"Why... why did you do it?" Brad asked, finally looking up at me. After we hugged, he'd been looking at the floor for what felt like eternity, as if he was trying to avoid making eye contact with me.

"Brad, I really, really don't remember doing it. Neither does Reece. If no one had seen us do it, I doubt anyone would've ever known because we both certainly don't have a memory of doing it - or at least Reece says he doesn't. And I trust that judgment. But I swear down, I don't remember even going off to dance with Reece let alone kiss him." I said.

Brad was silent, and he looked away again, his eyes red and watery. I could see how much he was hurting and it killed me. I hated myself for causing this; this was nothing but my fault. I am the reason for his pain.

"It doesn't change what you did." He said quietly.

In a weird, round-about way, I wished he would shout at me. Tell me how much of a shit girlfriend I am and how I deserve nothing good. Tell me straight up how much pain I have caused him. But no, he's settling for a more painful option where I just can't figure out how to help.

"I know it doesn't, I know. And I am so so sorry that it even happened. I understand if you hate me, and if you can't stand to be around me any longer. If you don't want to be together any more then fine. It's my fault entirely. But just don't forget, please know, that I love you with my whole heart. No one else has ever done the things you've done for me or made me feel the way you have. I cannot stress enough how much you mean to me and I don't think I'll ever be able to redeem myself after this. I hate myself for making you this way. I've done something completely unforgivable and I deserve to be hated on by you and all the boys. I really do deserve it. But you mean so much more to me than anyone ever has done, I genuinely don't think I'd ever been in love before you." I continued to look directly at him and he flicked his eyes towards mine slightly. "Look, like I said... I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. I don't think I would've been able to forgive me either. I'll just leave, but remember I love you more than anyone or anything in the world, and I have zero feelings for Reece, nothing not anything more than friends. I just wanted you to know that."

Brad didn't look at me, so I took it upon myself to just leave. With tears down both our faces, I took one last look at him and turned to leave.

I planned to walk outside and get into James' car and just wait for him to drive me and Connor back home. However I couldn't bear to think any further into the future than that or else I would fully breakdown, not that I'm already in the middle of a breakdown right now or anything.

Before I could completely get out, I felt a hand touch my wrist.

"Babe... wait." Brad said from directly behind me.

I spun back around, shocked. Did he just- call me- babe?! After what I've done to him last night, I deserve all the hate from him. I deserve to have him shout at me, get angry and break up with me. I deserve to be hated by the boys for practically cheating on their best friend. I deserve the hells to open up and attack me. But no. Instead of all that, Brad stops me from leaving and calls me 'babe'.

"Look." Brad started. "I'm not going to lie to you and say that what happened is fine, because it really isn't.  I need some time away from you to gather my thoughts and sort out my feelings on it all. We've got a few days to kick about before we leave for the next gig. I suggest we just stay apart for those few days."

"Okay, that's fine I totally understand. I'll give you as much space as you need. Just one question tho. Are we... breaking up or no?" I asked.

"No, unless you want to. Maddie, I love you so damn much it's insane. I can't loose you, even though you kissed someone else. It would drive me insane. I'm not even sure I would cope without you." Brad said. "But we should take a complete break from each other. Can we go a few days without contact and not seeing each other if that's okay?"

"I love you too, Brad. Of course, anything for you. Anything to help." I said. "Yet again, I'm so so sorry this happened, I'm never going to forgive myself. If there's anything I can do to try to make up for it, let me know. Although I'm fully aware nothing will ever be good enough to make up for this." I said.

"Thank you, Maddie. Thank you for understanding." Brad said.

"No, more like I should be thanking you. Thank you for not breaking up with me and for giving me this second chance to prove to you that you mean the absolute world to me. I deserve for you to leave me, shout at me and give me hell. I really do deserve that. Yet for some reason you've chosen to be kind and forgive. So thank you." I said.

"No need to thank me. It's what I do for the people I love." Brad said, and we slightly smiled at each other. "I'm going to get home. See you in a few days."

"See you in a few days." I nodded, and Brad walked past me and down the corridor, opening the front door and stepping out, leaving me alone in James' house with no clue as to what was going to happen for the next few days.