'Cause I mean this more than words could ever say

Chapter 2

We're in the living room watching old vampire movies, or at least, we're trying to watch them. Every two seconds Mikey starts smiling again and kisses me with the joy of a little child who's just got a chocolate bar. He makes me so happy. "Mikey!" I can't stop myself from laughing "What?" He's laughing as well. "Should I stop?" I know he's joking cause as soon as he's finished his sentence he starts kissing my neck again. "No!" He's the love of my life. I've never felt this way before and Mikey gave me the best two years of my life. The telephone rings and I get up to answer.
I know the voice of the caller too well and I start smiling the second they say hello. "Gee!"
I yell through the phone. Mikey looks at me still sitting on the couch which is just a few metres away from the telephone. "Yes!" He laughs. "Okay so me and Ray have been thinking and we noticed that it's been a while so we wanted to ask if you and Mikey would be down to go out with us on Friday?" My heart races. It's actually been a while since I've seen my best friends and only the thought of seeing them again makes me even happier.
"Of course! Would you like to come over before we go?" I definitely sound too excited, or at least Mikey must've thought that way cause he got up and is now standing right next to me. "Yeah why not I'd like to see your apartment and I'm sure that Ray would like to see what you left us for as well!" He laughs and I try to hide that I feel bad for moving out behind a laughter but I fail tragically. Mikey takes the telephone out of my hand. "Gee?" He looks angry and it scares me a little but he starts to smile a second later. I go back to the couch and sit down. A few minutes later, I hear Mikey say goodbye and he comes back towards the couch. "Gerard and Ray will be here around 6pm on Friday." He says in a dry voice. "That's good isn't it?" Did i say something wrong? Did we have plans for Friday and now I crashed them? "Well yeah but why did you tell them it was okay if they'd come over? This is our apartment Frankie, ours!" His voice breaks and tears run down his face. "Mikey!" I immediately get closer to hug my boyfriend but he pushes me away and I fall and land on the floor. I feel scared. Mikey gets up and looks down at me. He doesn't look worried at all even though it's me who's crying now. "Do you even still care about our relationship? Or am I like trash to you and as soon as you find someone better you'll just throw me away?" His voice sounds angry and I try to crawl back a bit but he grabs my shirt and pulls me onto my feet. What is he doing? He never got so angry. "I- I'm sorry Mikey- I- I can call them and-" I'm crying and Mikey seems like he's not about to calm down. "No! You shouldn't speak to other men Frankie! You know that!" He yells so loud I'm sure the neighbours can hear him.
"But Gee's your brother! You know he and Ray have been my best friends for fourteen years! I have to talk to them! They're my only friends Mikey! Please trust me! I love you! Only you! And I promise I won't leave you! Please calm down!" I'm crying even more and I'm surprised that I can even talk. He's breathing fast and heavily. "I'll sleep at Bob's tonight." He opens his fingers and I struggle not to fall. "Bob? But it's our anniversary! Mikey!" But he already left the apartment and closed the door behind him. I look at the door for a few more seconds before more tears find their way down my face. I run into the bathroom next to the bedroom and lock the door behind me in case Mikey decides to come back. I look at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are red, my skin is pale and my hair a mess. I hate mirrors. I kneel down to find the razor blade that I've taped under the cabinet under the sink after I cut myself the last time. I pull up my sleeve to find a couple of almost healed cuts. Tears keep running down my face. I make the first cut. I feel how all the pain about Mikey and myself leaves my body with my blood. After a while, the sink is covered in blood drops and I put the razor blade down. I look at the cuts I just made. Some of them got really deep. After a shower and cleaning up, I put on a Green Day hoodie and some black sweat pants and look at the bed. Mikey should be here. Why did he react like that? Of course their parents preferred Gerard but he's always been there for Mikey and they always had a great relationship. I've known Mikey for so long and the worst that he's done to me in the years since we got together was that he accidentally cut my ear when he was cutting my hair. Mikey would never hurt me on purpose. Not physically.
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It's the next morning. I couldn't sleep in our bed alone so I find myself on the couch. I hear the sound of keys and a few seconds later, Mikey enters the apartment. "Frankie!" He runs towards me and throws his arms around me. "I'm so sorry!" He gives me a kiss.
"I walked around all night thinking of what I've done!" Another kiss. "I don't know what happened to me! I'm so sorry Frankie! I didn't mean what I said! You know I'd never hurt you!" A third kiss. "I just love you and I'm scared that I could loose you! You're just too perfect for me and I ruin everything! You deserve so much better Frank!" He's crying. "Hey hey hey, Mikey!" His eyes are red, he must've cried a lot. "I love you! And I know you didn't mean to hurt me!" I put my head on his chest and he kisses my head. "I'm just scared that something will ruin our relationship! I feel save here! I only know this place with you and only you! I don't want friends in here! This is the place where we can be alone!" His voice is quiet and high. "I'm sorry Mikey..." I whisper with my eyes closed. "No! I'm sorry! I could've told them to meet us at the restaurant but I fucked it up Frank! It's my fault! They'll just come here and we'll leave soon enough!" He holds my face in his hands and I smile at him. "I'm proud of you." I whisper and put my lips on his.