'Cause I mean this more than words could ever say

Chapter 11

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" He stutters while he stumbles back. I quickly pull him into my arms and put my head on his chest. Happiness reaches every part of me now and I regret never noticing how much Gerard actually cares about me. I look up into his eyes and they show a mix of worry and happiness before I start smiling. "It's okay." I whisper and he starts smiling as well before I slowly get on my tip toes to reach his lips again. I always knew there was something going on inside of me when I was around him, but I never knew what it was. I finally realised that what I was feeling around Mikey wasn't love. This is. Mikey was something I tried to hold onto, of course he means a lot to me, he always did and he always will, but when I kissed Gerard, I knew that he is something I can hold onto without even trying. I was so desperate to keep Mikey that I would've done anything, but Gerard knows every part of me and never left me. No matter what. "We should go back." He whispers and I nod after a moment of thinking. I don't know if I want to go back, but I can't just leave like that, I'm still wearing Gerard's clothes that are way too huge for me, plus, I slept in them. He puts his arm around me and we slowly make our way back to the apartment that I just left. "The door is open." I say as soon as I can see two police cars in front of the building. Gerard and I enter the stairwell and a young police officer stops us. "Gerard Way?" Gerard nods and grabs my hand. He seems nervous.
"Okay, neighbours called us because they heard a fight in your brother's apartment.
Mister Toro told us you'd come back, don't worry, he's okay and went home a few minutes ago. We're questioning your brother right now, but that might take a while, the drug test showed us more than we expected." He nervously squeezes my hand and takes a deep breath. "Okay he's still registered for rehab I guess, I'll make a quick call if that's fine-" he starts but the police officer interrupts him. "Mister Way, your Brother is twenty four, he's gotta stand up for himself, and as far as I know, he's been in touch with us a couple of times due to drugs and a few other things, but he's not a teenager or a  juvenile criminal anymore so these laws don't count for him anymore since he's older than twenty one. We have to arrest him." Gerard seems shocked now and I notice tears in his eyes.
"So he's gotta go to prison..." He says quietly and I stroke his arm. "We don't know that yet but he won't get away that easy anymore, as much as I wish he would. But he named a couple of other names, do you know a man named Bob Bryar?" Gerard looks up immediately and nods. "Yeah he's a friend of Mikey as far as I know, we've only met him a few times." The police officer raises his eyebrows. "You brother told us that they've met in rehab and that Mr. Bryar told him to hide and sell the drugs for him, did he seem like he'd do that?" Gerard stutters for a few seconds before he can form his words. "I- I don't know, he never told us where they met, but I know that Mikey wouldn't just give up his years of being clean, so there must've been a trigger for all of this." It all starts to make sense right now but I still can't believe that a man like Bob got Mikey to do all these things.
"Sir what's your name?" I realise that he's talking to me now and I look up.
"Uhm- Frank, Frank Iero." I stutter while the police officer looks at me which makes me feel anxious. "Oh so you live here, right?" I nod, still looking at the floor. "Can you tell me what happened to you?" I look at Gerard and I quickly try to think of an excuse or something that could justify Mikey or his behaviour.
"I- when I found the drugs, I knew that he didn't know what he was doing when he-" my voice breaks and I blink a few times to keep the tears from running down my face.
"I will not testify against him." I say nervously and I feel Gerard's eyes on me.
"We're sorry, but if we think that you may have an impact on this case that can help us, we won't be able to avoid your statement." Why? I just want this all to end, I don't want to talk about all of this over and over again.
"We can do this another day if you need some time, but you can expect a letter from us."
He leaves and I look at Gerard. "I'm so sorry..." He whispers as he wraps his arms around me.
I want to say something, but a door opens and I hear voices. Just a minute later, two other police officers come down the stairs, together with Mikey, who's handcuffed. "Mikes..." I say as he comes closer but one of the officers shakes his head. Mikey's eyes find their way down to my hand, which is still holding Gerard's. He looks up again and a few tears are running down my face by now. I want to say something again but I know I can't. As they reach the door, he turns his head and looks at me again. "He's better for you anyway. Please don't give up on yourself." They pull him outside and a second later, I can't see him anymore. "I'll still make a few calls, we can stay here or go back-" I interrupt him cause I already know what he's about to say.
"I'll get a few things and stay with you and Ray for a while if that's fine." He smiles and kisses my head. "Okay I'll help you, come on."
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