'Cause I mean this more than words could ever say

Chapter 8

Frank's POV:
Mikey is stinging his fingernails into my arm. We're in a bus. I don't know where we're going but I'm scared. And my arm hurts. Mikey doesn't let go of it. The bus stops and he pulls me out trough one of the doors. "Mikey!" I'm struggling not to fall. We cross a street.
"Mikey you're hurting me!" He doesn't seem to care. He just keeps going. He doesn't even look at me. We turn into our street and I can see our door coming closer. He pulls out the keys from his pocket, opens the door and pushes me into the stairwell. He slams the door and grabs my arm again. When we reach our apartment he pushes me into our hallway as soon as he opened the door. He slams that one too. He finally looks at me. His eyes are glowing. Not in a good way. They show nothing but pure anger. "You fucking whore." He says darkly and comes closer as I stumble back. "Mikey..." my voice is quiet and I sound pleading. He pushes me against a wall and I sink down to the floor. He looks down at me and chuckles.
"Already broke a bone? You're so skinny you could break your ribs in your sleep." He offers me a hand. I don't take it.
"Oh come on Frankie, that was a joke!" He chuckles again. I take his hand. As soon as I'm back on my feet, he pushes me with all his force and I stumble back a few steps through the hallway before I fall and my head hits the floor. He quickly walks through the hallway.
"What will it take to stop you from running around in the world, giving your body away like sweets?" He's yelling so loud that I have to cover my ears. He kicks me a few times before he kneels down on me and hits me in the face a few times. Everything around me starts to blur and eventually, disappears. I passed out. I never cheated on Mikey. I never would.
_____________________________

Am I dead? I can't move. I try to open my eyes but all I can see is black. I eventually give up. My heart skips a beat, I open my eyes and quickly breathe in and out. My phone rang. I got a message. I try to move so I can reach it but my body feels numb and hurts like there's not a single bone in it that's not broken. I can hear Mikey breathe. I'm scared. After a total of fifteen, maybe even twenty minutes, I can finally move my arm and I grab my phone. Gerard just tried to call me. I unlock my phone.
"Where are you?!"
"What happened?!"
"Did he hurt you?!"
"Are you okay?!"
"Fuck Frank please message me! I'm going insane!"
"Frank it's 3am! Fuck are you alive?!"
"I'm sorry for today! I'm so fucking sorry!"
There are more messages, also some from Ray, but they're all the same. I can't stay here. I need to leave. I move a little. My body still hurts. I slowly get out of bed. I take my phone and leave the apartment. I walk down the stairs and out of the building. Every step hurts. It's cold and all I'm wearing is a shirt and some sweat pants. No socks. No shoes. I keep walking. Where am I? I zoned out so much that I didn't even notice where I was going. Fuck. I look around. I feel desperate when I suddenly recognise a red bench. No way... I look at one of the buildings on the other side of the street. Yes, it's here. I quickly cross the street and climb a few stairs until I'm standing in front of a brown wooden door. I don't even think about it and ring the doorbell. It's almost four in the morning but I don't care. After a few moments, I hear footsteps and Gerard opens the door. "Frank!" He yells and pulls me into his arms. It hurts but I wrap my arms around him.
"Ray! He's here!" I hear Ray running down the stairs and a second later, he's standing right next to Gerard. "Fucking come in!" He quickly pulls me inside. "Sit down." He finally sounds a bit more calm. I sit down on the couch which is still in the same place where it was when I moved out. Gerard wraps a blanket around me and kneels down in front of me. "What happened?" His voice is calm but he sounds worried. I look at him and he has tears in his eyes. "Ray could you get the first aid kit please?" Ray nods and runs upstairs again. "Frank..." I don't know if I can talk but I have to try. "I-" I say after a few seconds. "He... hu- hurt me." I'm talking very slowly but Gerard tells me how well I'm doing after every word. "What did he do Frankie?" He's talking really quietly and I try to remember what happened when we got home. Ray comes back with the first aid kit in his hands. "Thank you." Gerard says quietly. He sits down next to me and opens the kit. "You don't have to tell me now Frankie, take your time." He whispers. I close my eyes. I see stars. I feel something cold on my cheek and it begins to burn. I groan quietly and pull my head away. "I'm sorry! But we've gotta disinfect the wounds!" Gerard sounds so worried. I feel like a disaster. A few minutes later, bandages are covering my wounds and Gee gets me a cool pack for my head. I probably look worse than ever. I feel dizzy. I lean back into the pillows on the couch, my eyes still closed.
_____________________________

"Frank?" Someone is trying to wake me up. I open my eyes and see Gerard's tired eyes. He smiles a little when I look at him. "Morning." He whispers. My head doesn't feel too heavy anymore and I can feel my legs again.
"Here, I'll help you up, you need a bath." His voice is still calm. He sounds tired. I bet he was awake all night long and sat next to me to make sure I won't die. I lean on him and he helps me into the bathroom. He turns on the water and kneels down in front of me. I kinda know this scene. "Should I leave? Can you do this alone?" I'm still wrapped in the same blanket. I shake my head. I really don't want to be alone right now and I still feel numb. Like I can't breathe. "Okay..." he sounds a bit worried. He takes the blanket and helps me out of my clothes. I'm only wearing my boxer shorts now but I don't care. He helps me into the bathtub and makes sure that my head stays over the water. He sits down next to the bathtub and starts looking at the wall opposite us before I close my eyes and start feeling tired again. "I'll get you something to eat, just stay here, I'll be right back." He's still talking really quiet. It feels like he knows exactly what I need right now, besides the food. I hear a knock on the door and Ray enters the bathroom. "Hey, Gee told me to look after you for a few minutes." He sits down at the same place and looks at the ceiling. I don't want them to be so protective, but I'm to weak to discuss this now so I just let him look around while I fade into a dream more and more. Around twenty minutes later, the door opens again and Gerard enters the bathroom, carrying a cub of coffee and plate full of eggs, toast and bacon. Ray gets up. He looks down at me and smiles a little before he leaves. Gerard sits down and looks at me. He hands me the cup and I straighten up in the bathtub and take it. I'm shaking a little. "What about you?" He only has one plate and one cup of coffee.
"Ray and I ate earlier this morning, now it's you who needs to be fed." He says with a little smile on his lips. I swallow the coffee at once and put the cup on the bathroom floor. Gerard hands me the plate. I don't take it. "Frank, please." He sounds very worried.
I look down at myself. I now notice that my chest is full of bruises. I look at Gerard. His eyes are filled with worry. I wrap my arms around my body. I feel embarrassed. I'm so skinny. I feel his eyes on my body and he sighs. "I'm sorry..." I mumble after a minute.
"What? There's nothing you need to be sorry for!" His voices is full of sympathy but for some reason, it doesn't reach me. "Here." He takes a toast and holds it up to me. I shake my head. "Now take it or open your goddamn mouth!" He sounds annoyed. Of course he is. But when I look at him, I notice that I was wrong. He's not annoyed, he's smiling at me, still worried, but smiling. I take the toast and a brighter smile runs over his face. I eat slowly, but I eat. "I- I'm sorry..." I stutter after a few minutes. "Frankie, again, there is nothing you need to be sorry for." He's wrong. He hands me another toast. I feel sick but I still take it. He smiles again as I start eating the second toast. After more than thirty minutes, which Gerard spent sitting next to me, handing me food and holding the plate for me, he helps me out of the bathtub.