[ 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚍 ] 𝚋𝚘𝚔𝚞𝚝𝚘. 𝚔

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 18

It had been a good hour since I last heard from Bo. I was really getting nervous, I could tell it was worrying the girls too. They would check in on me every chance they got. I was about to call Bokuto when the door swung open and Bokuto and Akaashi came in. I got up and hugged them both.

"Are y'all okay? What happened?" I said looking at the both of them. Nothing was too banged up besides their knuckles.

"We kicked his ass." Bokuto huffs as he looks over at Akaashi.

"And I canceled our business plans." Akaashi looks at me shrugging.

"You seriously didn't have to do that Bubba." I say hugging Akaashi.

"Your one of the most important people in my life y/n. I'd do anything for you." He says holding onto me tightly.

I let go of him with tears in my eyes. I roll my eyes as he gives me a soft smile.

"And you. No more going around beating people up from me. As much as I love it, I don't need you getting in trouble." I pout wrapping my arms around Bokuto.

"Well he deserved it." He said hugging me back. That's one thing I appreciate about him, he always stuck up for me.

"Thanks guys." I say smiling at the both of them.

"You can go home now if you want." Akaashi says walking to his desk, taking a seat.

"I have to wait for the girls. We're having a sleep over at my place." I say turning to look at Akaashi. Bokuto wraps his arms around me from behind. I push him off and look back.

"Okay well, I'm gonna be in the back room." I say waving to Akaashi. He waves back getting back to his work. I take Bokuto's hand and drag him to the back room. I let him sit at my seat as I straddle him. I run my fingers through his hair as I just look at him.

"I'm sorry we can't hang out tonight." I say leaning forward, resting my chest on his.

"I get that you want to have fun with your friends too. I get it, I'm not sad or anything." He says flashing me a bright smile. I lean forward placing a small kiss on his lips.

"Thanks for always being so sweet." I mumble, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"It's what you deserve." He says hugging me back, his hugs were literally the best. I just never wanted to let go at this point.

"Wanna go on a date with me tomorrow?" He says still holding onto me. I pull away from the hug placing my hands on his chest. A date? Like an official date? Ones that couples go on?

"Um sure." I say in my most convincing 'happy' voice. Its not that I didn't like him, I just didn't know if I could commit to him. I just didn't want to hurt him.

"Okay, well i'll text you." He says tapping my hips, I get up and let him up. He stands and pulls me into a tight hug.

"I'll see you tomorrow night okay?" He says pulling away from me. He places a kiss on top of my head as he walks away. I take a seat as I breath in and out through my nose. I wasn't ready for this. What if he wanted to be a thing? I knew I had been spending a lot of time with him, but that doesn't mean anything. I used to spend this much time with Uesugi. Have I been leading him on? I get up and start pacing around the room when Saeko and Aniya come in.

"What's wrong?" Aniya said coming up to me grabbing my hand. I stop and just look at her, I let out a loud sigh and drop my head.

"Can we talk about it when we get home?" I mumble, Aniya shakes her head as Saeko collects her things. I grab my bags throwing them over my shoulder. I grabbed my keys and looked over at the girls.

"Did y'all bring your cars?" I ask while shaking my keys.

"No Suna dropped me off."

"Same, Atsumu dropped me off." Saeko said shrugging.

"Saeko really? Atsumu?" Aniya giggled.

"You know Atsumu? Whats wrong with that?" Saeko questioned as if she was hurt.

"Yeah I know him, I've been with Suna since highschool. They used to play volleyball together. I just never thought someone like you would date someone like him that's all. Its not an insult but he can be a handful sometimes." Aniya said shaking her head still laughing.

"Oh he can be a handful but I have my ways." Saeko says laughing.

"Okay okay are we ready?" I say still on edge about the whole 'date' situation. We all said bye to Akaashi as we walked out of the club, just ready to be home.

~at y/n's place~

We all got off and rushed inside, Saeko unlocking the door with the keys she snatched from my hand. I closed the door behind us, making sure to lock it. I walk to the room with the girls as we all set our stuff down. I walk over to my bed and plop down.

"Y'all can use my shower since y'all were working today." I say pointing to the bathroom door.

"You don't have to tell me twice." Saeko says opening her drawer grabbing some clothes.

"Hey I wanted to shower first." Aniya says scolding Saeko.

"You can use the spare." I say getting up and walking out of the bedroom. She follows close behind me with her bag clinging to her body. I walk into my brothers clean room. I liked to keep it clean, I always bought the same cologne he used and sprayed his room with it.

"Who's room is this?" She asked walking past me and into the room.

"It was my brothers." I say leaning my head against the doorframe. I took a deep breath in closing my eyes, imagine what it would be like if he were still here. Things would be so different... I probably never would have met Saeko, or Bokuto, or Akaashi. I let out a shaky breath and open my eyes which were already filled with tears.

"I'm sorry for asking I didn't mean to pry. I can wait to shower after Saeko." Aniya said gripping the strap of her bag.

"It's okay, I need these little moments to remind me he's still here. You can use the shower, theres my shampoo and stuff in there." I say walking away from the room and into the kitchen. I place my hands on the table and take a seat. I lean forward dropping my head, I sob quietly. If he was here would I still be scared to just take this chance on Bokuto. Harsh thoughts filled my mind as I sit there sobbing. I look up and wipe my eyes, I refuse to cry about this. Not tonight at least. I get up and shake my feelings off. I walk back to my bedroom plopping down on the bed. After about 30 minutes Saeko walks out of the bathroom fully clothed. She plops down next to me and hugs me.

"What's wrong?" She asks tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"Just my thoughts. You know how that is." I laugh, trying not to cry again.

"What are you thinking about?"

"My brother, and Bokuto. I just can't do it Saeko. I cant be with him." I mumble.

"Why not?"

"He deserves better than damaged goods. I know I can't commit to him, I'll only end up hurting him."

"Don't do that. Don't ruin something so good just because what has happened in your previous relationships. He's a good guy y/n. Please just let yourself be happy."

For the rest of the night those words rang through my head. I wanted to let myself be happy.... Yet I don't know if I was ready to take that leap.