"What do you want me to say?" I ask after going through the documents and realizing Jennie still had one more piece of the puzzle missing.
"Whatever it is that's running through your mind right now." She replies softly.
"I...I don't even know."
Silence passes over us again. But I already know what I need to do.
"Chaeyoung and I were adopted from the same orphanage. She was like a sister to me." I gave her the last piece of this puzzle.
"What?"
"We were both orphans...I didn't even remember her until I found out about her secret. It unlocked memories I had forgotten...I was her little moon and she was like my sun, the light in my dark world at the time. Chaeyoung treated me like a sister and when her parents adopted her, she promised me she would find me again...funny how the universe works sometimes." I trail off.
"Why are you telling me this?" Jennie asks me, her eyes unable to meet mine. It hurt, but I also understood.
"Because you deserve to know. You deserve to know it all...everything, all the details." I reach my hand out, slipping a finger underneath the chain of her necklace she always wore, pulling it out, the diamond ring shining brightly, "You deserve to know everything about the person who gave you this, about the person who promised you forever."
"Rosie." She placed a hand over mine that was holding on to her necklace.
"In the back of my mind I knew that you still hadn't fully let her go. That you still needed to accept, mourn, grieve...in the last 8 years you never gave yourself that chance...you just kept holding onto whatever small fragment of her. Be it this necklace or this heart." I pulled my hand away from her and placed it on my heart.
"You know that I care for you...right?" She asks, finally looking me in the eyes again.
"I know..and I care for you too. That's why for now, we should take a step back."
"A step back?"
"Yeah.." I get up, and take a literal step back, "We need to go back to the time before any of this happened."
"Are you leaving?"
"I'm not leaving. But we can't be friends..we can't be anything."
"What about work? Our friends? We can't avoid each other forever you know." Jennie asked. The fact that she isn't fighting this....should I be hurt or be glad.
"Don't worry." I smile, "Just make sure you take care of yourself." I turn away. Staying any longer wouldn't do us any good?
"Rosie." Jennie calls out to me as I'm about to leave her condo once again.
"Hmm." I hummed, my back still turned away from her.
"Just for a second." Jennie softly says. Soon, I feel her arms wrap around me from behind.
"You know.." I sigh, "If you wanna hear it beat again, you're on the wrong side." I try to make light of our situation, turning around and holding her close to my chest. Making sure she can hear how loud this heart beats for her, even though it isn't me she sees.
"Maybe one day if and when you've really moved on this time...maybe then we can take a step forward together again." I whisper.
No matter how much my heart was breaking, now matter how much I knew I was breaking hers...I tried my best not to cry, I need to be strong for me and for her.
We both knew, although didn't want to admit it, that if we kept this up we'd both end up hurting each other more in the future.
And when Jennie and I pulled away from each other, as I walked out that door. I could only hope that she could finally take that step forward..on her own.
