When you lose someone it changes you. Knowingly or unknowingly. And for the past 8 years since Jennie has lost Chaeyoung she's never accepted it. She just acknowledged that she's gone, never going to come back. But just because she acknowledged it, doesn't mean she had to accept it. So she tried to hold onto whatever she could possibly hold onto that had some piece of the woman she thought would be her forever. Of the woman who was taken away from her so quickly and without warning.
-Flashback-
"So how are we doing today Jennie?" Juhyun asks, as the brunette settles on the usual lounge couch in her therapist's office.
"Today was okay...I saw Rosie during our meeting..it's the first time in a month..."
"Oh and how was that?"
"I felt angry."
"Why?"
Jennie stays quiet, she hates herself for feeling angry at Roseanne when she knows it wasn't her fault...that it was an accident; however, now that she's finally starting to come to terms with Chaeyoung's death. Now that she's facing it head-on..now that she's mourning and grieving, she couldn't help but feel angry at the blonde for being a part of what took Chaeyoung away.
And Juhyun waits patiently, knowing that for her patient, everything that happened almost a decade ago feels as if it had just happened a few days ago.
"I'm angry at her for having her heart...and I know it was an accident..that it was Chaeyoung.." Jennie pauses, realizing she said her name, and she didn't feel a tiny crack in her heart, "who put herself on the line like that...but I can't help wishing that she didn't do that..maybe then she'd still be here with me."
Juhyun watches as Jennie seems to want to say more, so she waited for the brunette to compose herself.
"I feel all that, but a part of me misses her...so much..and that makes me pissed at myself..like how can I be mad at her but miss her so much I just want to hold her forever." She speaks up after a few minutes of silence.
"Is it really her that you miss though?"
Jennie pauses, fiddling with her necklace.
"I know they're two different people."
"You know that, but yet you still see Chaeyoung whenever you look at her."
Jennie stays mum...remembering the conversation she had with Suzy the day after everything blew up.
"You told her."
"Good morning Jennie." Suzy faked a smile.
"You were the one that texted Rosie last night."
"I see that she isn't around you...my my did you lose her too?" Suzy smirked.
Jennie clenched her hands into a tight fist to prevent herself from slapping that smirk right off of Suzy's face.
"You wouldn't even be in this mess if you had just told her you knew everything."
"I didn't want her to assume that I chose her because of it."
"But you did."
"No I didn't." Jennie denies, trying to keep the upper hand.
"Please Jennie. It's so obvious. In the beginning you saw Chaeyoung in her and she made you feel like it's okay to move on and that scared you. So you distanced yourself, it was only after you found out that she has Chaeyoung's heart, did you look at her again. Did you get closer to her, did you see her for who she really is."
