Our Little Secret - Harry Lewis, Wroetoshaw

Chapter 6

August 2017

Three years had passed and Olivia was now free from Uni. She had decided to stay in Manchester for another year before moving home to find some better opportunities. Harry was a thing of the past and they had rarely spoken in recent years aside from birthdays and the odd text, he had even deleted the photo of them off of his Instagram, however, she still looked for him in every boy she spoke to. Nobody had compared to the way he made her feel and nobody ever would. She had made a point to stop watching his videos because it only made her miss him more, especially after seeing how good he was doing, it made her sad to see that she really did mean nothing to him, despite him promising not to leave her. That was until she went to a house party with some friends from uni who decided to watch some youtube videos, including the ones with Harry's diss tracks. She cringed into her wine as she watched him dance around the screen, hitting blow after blow at one of his friends. It was even worse when they put on KSI's one. The lines about Harry's drug use and the fact he'd only slept with one girl really irked Olivia and while she knew it was just the alcohol talking she felt the urge to text him.

"Didn't you go to school with him Liv?" her friend Sarah asked

"Uh yeah" Olivia nodded, looking around the flat

"He seems like such a weirdo" Ben called from the kitchen.

Ben was forever trying to get under Olivias skin and more importantly, into her pants. He would use insults toward her as a way of flirting which Olivia did not accept one bit.

"He's actually so nice. We were best friends" Olivia spat, her words sharp

"Best friends or 'best friends'" Charlie said from the couch using air quotes at the end and making a motion with his hands to signify sex

"So who's the one girl he's slept with then?" Sarah asked in her thick Yorkshire accent

"Couldn't tell you" Olivia lied "Must have been when he got to London"

The group dropped the conversation and Olivia finished the remnants of her wine before reaching for her phone and opening up a text conversation she hadn't looked at since her birthday. The last message read 'Thanks, Harry. Hope ur good xx

Olivia - 02:56

Watched JJ's diss track lol. So ur a coke head now?

Harry - 02:57

Hello to you too

Olivia - 02:58

R u okay?

Harry - 03:00

I'm fine. How are you?

Olivia - 03:04

Drybk

Harry - 03:05

I take it that means drunk?

Explains the text

Olivia - 04:40

I miss u

Harry - 04:41

Miss u too

Olivia 04:50

No, u don't

Harry 04:54

Ok. Night Liv

Olivia groaned into her pillow at her stupidity, of course, Harry wouldn't want to talk to her. It's not as if they had been close in recent years. She opened up her laptop and began scrolling through her old photos. The ones from recent years were all from bars and pictures in the uni library, but the further she got down the more she saw the pictures she was looking for. There were never any with just her and Harry aside from the sneaky one she had taken or the drunken ones from parties but all the pictures of landscapes or of the beach on a sunny day reminded her of memories that she didn't need a picture of just him to think about. She stopped on a picture of the moon coming over the sea while it was still sunny out. This was the night she and Harry had stayed on the beach for hours even after the sun had gone down and they started a fire to sit around. Olivia sat with her head in Harry's lap as he played with her hair and sipped on a beer, he complained about how much sand was everywhere but didn't want to move and disturb Olivia. She looked up at him with big eyes and smiled, she often did that, smiled at him for no reason, he either found it really creepy or quite endearing. Looking back on these memories felt like a punch to the gut. She wished she had just been upfront about what she wanted. She wished that their relationship was more than just sex and she wished that Harry was here right now to console her as sobs ripped through her chest. This had been the most she had thought about him in years and as if like a dam breaking down, all the emotions just came flooding out until there was nothing left.

Olivia fell asleep with her laptop beside her open on a picture of her and Harry at a house party where he had his arm around her and his tongue out and woke up with a splitting headache and puffy red eyes. She looked to her side and saw the two empty bottles of wine she had drained and sunk her head into her pillow. She dragged herself out of bed and shut her laptop, refusing to look at the pictures any longer. As she entered the shower she welcomed the warm water gladly, letting it wash over her body and rinse away the regret from last night. She placed her head against the cool tiles on the bathroom wall and sighed loudly replaying the thought process behind her texts to Harry. Three years they had gone without a confrontational encounter and she had ruined it with a stupid drunken text.

She wrapped a towel round herself and sat on her bed aimlessly scrolling through twitter until she noticed a tweet that caught her eye

@calfreezy:
Whoever broke @wroetoshaw heart please apologise he hasn't stopped playing sad songs all morning.

This had been posted just 15 minutes before Olivia woke up and she chewed her lip. Surely it hadn't been a coincidence the timing of this. She opened her laptop back up and scrolled through the pictures once more and found a picture Harry had taken of her sitting with a chippy and sent it to her phone so she could post it on her Instagram.

She posted the picture to her story and captioned it 'Missing home and the people there! Countdown to Christmas is on ❤️'
She sat her phone down and hoped that Harry would remember that he was behind the camera that day. She wanted so badly to message him and apologise for the night before but her pride wouldn't let her. She just had to wait now for Christmas to see if Harry would be back too.