Why is love this complicated
We should of been friends, we should of waited
But we can't go back on our past
Explain to me why we can't last
Is it too many scars to heal from
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When we got back home he made sure we were good before he left.
"You wanna go in mommy room?" I asked going upstairs.
"Can we color?" She asked and I went to her room grabbing her coloring book and crayons. Once we got to my room I grabbed my sketchbook and pencil to draw along with her. I had some tattoo designs in mind, so that's what I was gonna draw.
I got on my bed and sat her down in front of me as she opened her coloring book grabbing a crayon.
"You know your birthday is coming up?" I smiled.
"Mhm." She said holding up three fingers since she was turning three.
"What you want for your birthday?" I asked while I sketched a design.
"Disney world!" She yelled and we both laughed.
"You don't want a birthday party?" I asked.
"Untun I want Minnie Mouse." She colored.
"Okay I'll see." I said but of course I was gone make it happen.
"Daddy come too?" She asked.
"Yea he coming." I assured her.
"I can be happy when I'm with daddy?" She asked.
"Of course you can, why you ask that?" I asked.
"I thought you be mad at me cause- cause you mad at daddy." She said softly and I looked at her before putting my sketch book aside.
"Come here." I said nicely as she put her crayon down and sat in my lap.
"I'll never be mad at you for something like that. Don't let what me and your father go through change how you feel okay? I don't want you to feel like you have to pick sides." I said.
"Okay mommy." She hugged me and she stayed there with my arms around her rocking side to side.
This is exactly what I meant when I said I didn't want it to affect her. I'm going to try my best to listen to her so I can understand what she feels. Doesn't matter that she's just two a lot could be going through her head.
"How do you feel about us being in separate homes?" I asked her.
"What does sepret mean?" She asked.
"It's pronounced separate- Separate." She sounded it out.
"Yes, it means apart, so how do you feel when you have to go between me and your daddy?" I asked.
"Ummmm." She dragged. "I don't like it, I want us to be a family." She said.
"Me and your daddy can't be together, we're better apart. If we stay together it's going to cause more problems." I said but she was still confused.
"You know how if you pour lighter fluid and set something on fire?" I asked and she nodded.
