My Voice - Tsukishima Kei

22- Sit the Fuck Down

"Why the hell would you do that?" Tsukishima asks blankly, crossing his arms. "Are you dense? You could have gotten hurt. You could have gotten stolen-"

"Yeah right." I cut him off, snorting. "Nobody in Japan wants to kidnap a Black girl."

Tsukishima's blank expression hardens into a glare and I know he's trying his best not to say anything right now.

What? It's true. They literally ran away from me. I doubt any of them wanted to keep me as a pet.

"Eva..." Tsukishima breathes out, closing his eyes.

"I just wanted you to spend time with Yamaguchi." I say quietly, staring down at my hands as I fiddle with my fingers.

"What? I see him all the time! Why do you care about that?" Tsukishima scoffs, walking closer to me.

"I don't know why you're angry. I got home." I gulp, a frown coming over my face.

"But you-" Tsukishima cuts himself off, taking a deep breath. He doesn't even finish his sentence.

He silently walks to the opposite side of his bed and I feel it dip.

It's dead silent now.

Daichi and Suga told Tsukishima later on that they got me home safely, thinking I only didn't want him to know while he was out at the aquarium.

They didn't have any ill intention, and I appreciate them taking me home, but I can't help but feel slightly irritated. I said not to tell him I got lost. I was already feeling bad because of that whole situation, and Yamaguchi not liking me, and now I feel even worse because Tsukishima is mad at me.

"If you're mad then I'll just go home. We can talk later." I say quietly, standing up from the bed.

"Sit. The fuck. Down."

My eyes widen and I turn to look at him but he's already rushing towards me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He takes me into his arms, holding me to his chest.

I keep my arms at my sides, not saying anything.

"I'm sorry Eva. I'm just so mad right now it flew out without me thinking about it. I'm sorry for speaking to you that way. I won't do it again." He holds me tighter, clearly in distress.

Tsukishima doesn't lose his cool often, so he must be really upset.

I put my hands on his chest, pushing him away but keeping my hands there as I talk.

"Please stop being mad at me. I hate it." I feel my eyes get a bit watery but I refuse to cry. "Tsukishima, we've been spending a lot of time together. I love it, but you also need to spend time with your friends." I look away, sighing.

"Baby. I see Yamaguchi every single day. At practice, when we we're in school, I text him all the time..." Tsukishima puts his hands on my waist. "I don't get why you're worried about it."

I'm surprised he doesn't know. But I can't tell him that Yamaguchi hates me.

If I do, more problems will come up and I don't want them fighting with each other.

I don't say anything, so he just continues.

"And I'm not mad at you. I'm mostly mad at myself because I knew that you didn't know how to get home. But you and Yamaguchi both kept saying that you have to go home and so I was stumped. I couldn't even get ahold of you until you got your phone charged. I was so worried but you played it off like you were okay. You said you got home later because you went shopping for a little. So imagine how upset I was to get a text from Daichi and Suga saying that they found you crying." Tsukishima peels my hands off his chest, lacing our fingers together.

I didn't think he'd be this upset.

"Don't lie to me. No matter what, just don't lie about things like that. It's pointless- I'm bound to find out anyways. Promise me. No more lies between us, the same goes for me, okay? We can't keep things from each other."

I look up at him, my eyes softening.

"Okay. I'm sorry." I say quietly, taking my hands from him and taking him into a hug. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He hugs me as well, letting out a small breath.

My phone dings with a notification and Tsukishima let's go of me.

He moves onto his bed and I grab my phone off my desk. I see it's a deposit notification from the bank.

Why are my parents giving me even more money?

I open the app to see how much and I almost have a heart attack.

"What the fuck?" I quickly dial my mom, thinking she made a mistake.

"What happened?" Tsukishima asks.

"I think my mom accidentally transferred me money." I mumble.

That's way too much. Did she pull it from her savings? Because there's no way people just have that kind of money sitting in their bank account.

"Hello?" My mom answers.

"Mom you accidentally gave me money. Hurry and take it back." I put a hand on my temple, feeling stressed.

Will she be over drafted? Oh my gosh- is she dying?!

"No. That's yours." She says happily.

Huh?

How is it mine? I don't even work.

"We won your case a little bit ago, but we didn't want to tell you until we got a payout. That's from all 4 families of the boys who hurt you. Use it wisely, okay? I love you sweetheart."

"I don't think I'd be able to spend it all even if I tried." I mumble, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

We talk for a little bit more before she has to go back to work, and when the call is over I walk to Tsukishima's bed, laying down under his covers.

Tsukishima lays by me, giving a questioning look.

"You okay?" He asks.

I give a tired smile, sighing.

"Apparently the boys who...did that to me, were sued and we won. My mom gave me all the money from it." I stare off in the distance, my expression blank. "All the pity money."

"Pity money?" Tsukishima questions.

"Isn't that just what it is? 'Oh sorry you were harassed. Here's some money to make up for it.' Isn't that basically what they're saying?" I scoff, looking at him.

He stays quiet for a second before moving closer to me, pulling me against his chest.

"You can pay for therapy. Do you still think about it?" He asks gently, careful not to be pushy about it.

I look at him for a second before burying my face in his chest.

"I try not to." I whisper. "But sometimes I can't stop replaying the situation over and over again in my head. I felt so...powerless. I couldn't even have control of my own body. It was scary. I was so scared. If you didn't walk in...I-I don't...god. Thank you. Thank you." I wrap my arms tightly around him, not lifting my head up.

"I will never let someone hurt you again like that. Okay? I won't let you go through that again." He says, holding me just as tightly.

"Can I give you some of the money?"

"No."

"Ple-"

"No."