My Voice - Tsukishima Kei

11- Divorce

"Finals are finally over! Now we just have to wait for our results and then graduation, and then we're officially going to be thrown into the world with nothing but a useless degree!" Ena exclaims excitedly as we walk through the campus.

"You sound way more excited than your words." I note and she laughs.

Ena and Ekin had coaxed me out of the hotel, and now I've been staying at their place. I know Ekin texts Kei and updates him on me, but I have yet to talk to him myself. The only people I've talked to beside these two are my parents and my siblings.

I've received texts and calls from Kei, but I just could not bring myself to answer them, nonetheless read the texts.

"Oh, come this way." Ena grabs my hand and leads me towards the back of the school. "You know, I'm doing this for you."

My eyebrows furrow in confusion at her words. Doing what?

"You have not smiled at all since we found you. You seem so lifeless and you don't even talk with me anymore like we used to! So you can't be mad at me, alright?" She pouts, turning her head to look at me as she drags me away.

"What are you even talking about?" I sigh once we round a corner.

"Please just talk to him." Ena begs, and I see Kei waiting by a bench.

I freeze once I realize I've been set up, but Ena pushes me until I'm just a few feet away from my husband before completely disappearing.

It's not like I'm avoiding him or anything...

I just don't want to go home. Or see him at school. Or hear his voice. Or feel his touch.

I know I'll just break down. And now that he's in front of me, I can already feel the tears prickling my eyes. I refuse to cry though. I've cried enough and I'm tired of it.

"H-"

"Both of us are in the media a lot, so I know a divorce can be messy if we do it ourselves. My parents can arrange a quiet one if you'd like." I cut him off, reciting the lines I've practiced over and over throughout the course of multiple nights and crying sessions.

I look up to meet his eyes for the first time and I'm shocked to see how bad he looks.

My eyes widen when he falls to his knees and I take a small step back when he presses his head to the floor.

Ah, a dogeza.

"I am so sorry." He chokes out and the sound of his voice breaking instantly causes the tears to fall from my eyes. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything I said. I-I was just upset you guys didn't bother telling me. You always tell me when something like that happens and because this was the only time you didn't, I felt like you both were keeping secrets from me and I convinced myself you both were sneaking around behind my back- but I know. Okay? I know you would never do that. I know you love me. I'm so sorry for saying those things. In the moment I just wanted you to hurt as much as I was hurting and I'm so sorry."

I hear him sniffle and I lower myself to my knees, putting my hands on his shoulders and lifting him up.

The sight of him crying absolutely just breaks my heart and I lose all sort of common sense as I pull him to my chest.

"I love you. I love you so much Eva. I-I can't do this without you. I'm sorry. I don't regret marrying you, it was the best decision I've ever made in my life. I know I fucked up, I never should have accused you of anything. I only said that because I was angry- I knew you would never hurt me like that. Yet I got out of control and hurt you." Kei cries into my chest and wraps his arms around me so tightly I feel like I can't breathe. "As soon as the words flew out of my mouth I wanted to take them back. I will never ever treat you that way again. I don't want a divorce, but if you want one then I under-"