Plus Size Queen

Sorry For Being Me

I am kind of cranky because I had woke up a bit to early. I never wake up to early except when I get a nightmare. Even when I had a nightmare I would fall back asleep. This time I could not. I don't even know why. I just laid there praying that I would go to sleep because I am tired. It was two in the morning. I had went to sleep at ten. Crap only five short freaking hours of sleep. I went and got a cup of hot milk and I still couldn't get sleep. It use to always get me. I just started stalling until the day was over because I wasn't getting anywhere near sleep. I even exercised. Around five thirty I fell asleep and was angry when I heard the alarm at six fifty. I quickly got in the shower and tried to fully wake up. I wore sweatpants and a black shirt. I ran down stairs gave my daddy a kiss, grabbed a bottle of water and took out the trash. I slid into Liam car which been parked out there for five minutes.

"Hi baby." Liam said bumping my lips with his.

"Hi Liam." I said kissing him back after he grabbed my hand. He broke eye contact and started to drive to my school. He opened the door for me and had hovered over me while I leaned on the car. He kissed me and had his face super close to mine like he was planning to do it again.

"I love you." That phase made my heart thumped quick and I looked him in the eyes. He was looking at me seriously and I looked down. I couldn't look at him for long. It wasn't the pleasant feeling I had when James said it. I will never understand why it feel so different I love Liam right? I looked at Liam and I knew he wanted me to say something back.

"I'm sorry." I said pushing his chest back a bit. I saw him covering his face with his right hand and ruffle in his hair.

"Why are you sorry?" I looked down and my lips was quivering. I was twirling my thumbs which was shaking quickly.

"I can't say it back. I'm so sorry." I said repeating his over and over again. I saw his face go red and he had his lips poke in.

"But we've been together for one whole year! I thought you finally started to like me back." I saw tears fall down his face. I went to take the tears away but he moved my hands. He went to the driver seat and I tried to catch him before he leave. He had the door open and it separated us to.

"I tried to." I said grabbing his hand that was on the door. He snatched it away and rolled his eyes.

"Jamie, I spent a whole freaking year falling for you! I freaking love you! I never loved anyone like you before. Now I feel like..." He stopped before he finished the sentence. He entered the car and looked at me one more time. We looked at each other for a while. I wish I fell for him. I wish I could happily say I love Liam Jones and mean it, but I can not do it. He slowly begin to back away I walked with his car.

"Wait Liam! Don't go! Liam! Liam!" I yelled after his car. He just drove faster. Ugh! I should have just said it. I kept yelling his name but he never stopped. I walked slowly to the building and couldn't help myself.

"Hi Jamie." I heard someone say. I quickly started to whip away the tears that started to fall when Liam left me. I sucked it up and turned to face the happy couple.

"James, Mary." I smiled at the two and tried to avoid all type of eye contact. I felt Mary almost tackled me. I laughed at her eagerness and balanced us so we wouldn't fall down.

"Where Liam he usually walk you to the building." Mary said messing with my natural curls I hate so well.

"Um... He um... I don't know." To be truthful I don't understand where we are after this little fight. He didn't dump me so we still a couple. It's never to late to dump a person so he might dump later.

"What do you mean?" James said curiously. All I could look at was his hand locked with Mary. Why didn't I say it back? It's just three simple words. Many people say it without feeling it. Why can't I do it?