Undecided|| Vallyk or Derek??

Chapter 46

After a lot of thought, crying, and sleep later I finally decide that I want to be with Vallyk, he's all I can think of and I have never regretted anything more than kissing Derek.

I get out of bed and hop into the shower. Then I do the rest of my routine until going downstairs to the kitchen. Kiki's already made breakfast and is sitting at the table. She slowly slides a plate towards me. I don't feel hungry so I just move my fork around, playing with my food.

You should eat, or you'll be hungry later. I can tell she wants to talk about the Vallyk situation but is trying to play it cool. I take a few because I know if I don't she'll bring up Vallyk.

ahem well I should go, don't want to be late for parking. I put my plate in the sink and give Kiki a small wave before closing the front door behind me. As I make my way to school I spot Vallyks house. I slow down and come to halt in front of his house, wanting to get out of my car and into his as we usually did. But of course, I can't. I continue on my way to the school.

I get to school a few minutes later, and hang my head low as I walk through the halls, the rumors were still going around. A few moments later I slide into my desk at the back of the classroom.

I don't really pay attention during first period, all classes for that matter. All I could think about is Vallyk and how to get him back. I can't imagine my life without him.

The bell rings, everyone rushes out the classroom to get to second period. As I head out the door, someone grabs my my forearm. I turn around and lock eyes with Kenny.

~

I heard about the rumors, how you been? He asks me this with a worried look on his face.

Well, I'm holding up. I try to say this without bursting out in tears. But, it isn't that easy. I see Kenny's expression change as tears roll down my face.

hey hey hey, it's ok.. He holds me tightly to his chest, shushing for me to calm down. i'm sorry I asked.

I shake my head and sniff wiping my face with back of my hand No it's not even about the stupid whispers in the hallway, you know i don't let that type of stuff get to me.

Then what's wrong? He shakes his head when he realizes.

Vallyk. We say in unison.

I just really messed up. A stupid kiss ruined my whole relationship with one of the most important people in my life. I just- I don't know there was something about Derek I just couldn't hold back. But i'm done with him because I love Vallyk, and now I know that he's who I want to be with. I feel my face get hot when I realize who I'm talking to. I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't be talking to you about this.

He shakes his head and laughs Don't worry about it. I do care about you and I'm glad to have you in my life.. even if it's not in the way that I'd prefer.

I chuckle and lay my head on his shoulder. We should probably get to class, but I don't want to leave.

Why don't we just skip and hang out just the two of us. I look up at Kenny and he's looking me in the eyes, I can tell he still has feelings for me but unlike last time I know leading him on is the worst thing I could do.

I'd love to but, last time I skipped school things didn't end well. He nods, knowing the real reason why I declined.

Well it was nice talking to you, I'm just glad your doing okay. He pulls me into a hug, resting his chin on my head. And hey, keep you head up high, don't listen what to people say.

He nods again before turning the opposite direction and we head our seperate ways to second period.

* * *

I got scolded at by my teacher for being late to second period. I didn't pay much mind to it because school was the least of my problems. The rest of the classes were a blur, mostly just doing homework and walking from class to class, day after day, like a robot.

Only time I feel freedom is the lunch period. Everyone has left the class to head to the Cafeteria, meanwhile I go to my locker and put my stuff away, the sound of my locker opening echos in the vacant hallway.

I shut my locker, then as I'm getting up from a squat position I lock eyes with Vallyk. Like before, we stand frozen, staring at each other. And again, a few moments later he disappears from behind the corner. I let out a deep sigh before walking the opposite direction to the lunchroom.

~

I get to the cafeteria, the room erupting with the shouts and conversations of the students. I sit at an empty table which isn't new to me, the past week I've been sitting by myself. For obvious reasons.

I'm surprised when I see Kenny sit in the empty spot next to me. Hey... what are you doing here? He scoots closer to me before talking Well, It's extremely painful to watch you sit here by yourself like the new kid. Also I just wanted to talk to you. I smile Thanks but you don't have to. I know you have people waiting for you. ' Well you mean more to me than they do, plus you need me more. He says this in a while shrugging which makes me laugh.

Lunch went by a lot quicker that I had Kenny as my company. He seemed to be the only one that cared recently, I just felt really thankful to have him.

I gtg but it was great talking to you. Really Kenny, thanks. I don't know why but I kiss him on the cheek before making my way back to the main school building.

The rest of my classes passed by fairly quick. Before I know it the last bell of the day rings to dismiss us for the rest of the day. I walk to my locker and put in the combination. I get everything that I need to go home and put the rest in my locker. I swing my backpack over my shoulder before walking out to the parking lot.

On my way to my car I see a Vallyk walking ahead of me. I can spot those curls from anywhere. This time I'm not going to let him out of my reach.

VAllyk!Vallyk- wait. I'm so sorry for what I did to you. You are the most important person to me and I hate myself more everyday for all the pain I've caused you. I've ended things with Derek I promise and I know now that I wanted you.. I'm so sorry. I'm out of breath and tears roll down my eyes from starting to cry mid-sentence.

Vallyk still looks stunned from what just happened, I had spoken so fast he hadn't had time to process what I was saying. I shake my head, quickly looking down I feel my cheeks get hot. Just forget what I said. I begin to walk past him but stop when I hear his voice. Y/n wait. I do forgive you for what you did but..

I just can't trust you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sorry if the end feels a little rushed that's because is it, im writing this at 4am and im extremely tired. So hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, sorry for any typos, and SO sorry for the late update. Ok byeee