Alone Without You

7

TW's:
-Shock+trauma
-Starvation (neglect)
-Self hate/disgust (bad anxiety)

Five days had passed and all this time I hadn't been talking at all anymore. I was locked in my room the whole day and I only cried and screamed in my pillow. I hated myself so incredibly much. I hadn't slept in five days, I didn't eat anything anymore, sometimes I just drank a few sips of water and that was it.

I just didn't dare to go outside anymore, but I also definitely didn't want to go outside anymore. I was only crying and feeling disgusted about myself more and more.

Today was the day Dream would be coming to England and he had texted me that he was already in the plane. I got the courage to move myself downstairs and I was laying on the couch.

My parents were pretty hopeless since I didn't talk at all anymore and they didn't know what was going on with me. Sometimes my dad got mad at me for not speaking, but my mum stayed polite and I felt like she knew what was going on. She had apologised for not believing me a few times now, but I didn't want to confirm anything anymore.

'Sweetie?' my mum asked me.

I hummed.

'Do you want a cup of tea, honey?'

I hummed again, making my mum realise I wanted some. She turned on the kettle and made me a cup of tea. She gave it to me and I immediately started drinking it, not caring about the heat burning my mouth.

My mum immediately grabbed the cup out of my hands and put it on the table. 'Don't George, you have to let it cool down first.'

I nodded slowly and laid back down on the couch, curling up like a ball.

'Are you coming with me when I'll pick up Dream?'

I hummed and closed my eyes. I could feel my mum getting more hopeless every second. She tried to make me talk, but I just couldn't. I didn't want to and I didn't feel like I could.

It was an hour later and my mum walked towards me, waking me up since I fell asleep shortly. 'I'm going to pick up Dream. I checked your phone and he's coming.'

I nodded slightly and I stood up, walking with my mother. I grabbed a black coat and put my hood on, hiding my face so no one would be able to recognise me. I was watching the ground the whole time as I walked with my mum to the car. We sat down and drove to the airport in silence. Of course it was silent, I didn't speak. Yet still my mum making small talk with me.

'Are you excited to meet Dream? He has been your best friend for ages now.'

I hummed and looked at my hands. I was excited to meet him, but also totally not. I didn't talk, I didn't want him to get too close to me at all and with that, I also found everything he had cute. I just wasn't going to talk, I was just going to help him do this without talking.

My mum stopped the car as we arrived at the airport and we stepped out. I immediately hid my face fully in my hood and walked with my mum to the gate we had to be. I didn't look up, but I suddenly heard someone yell out my name.

I very slowly lifted my head a little and saw Dream coming closer, he was running and smiling brightly. He came closer to me and I hid myself again. I didn't want Dream to touch me, but since he didn't know that he hugged me as soon as he was here. I didn't wrap my arms around him, I just stood there with my arms hanging down.

'George!' Dream yelled enthusiastically. 'I'm so happy to see you, are you okay?'

I hummed and looked at my feet awkwardly, making Dream let go of me. He smiled at me and looked at my mum after, shaking her hand.

'I'm so glad to be here,' Dream said. 'Has he still not talked?'

'Not a word, he only hums songs, nods and shakes his head. He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep, he doesn't move.'

'Do you know what happened?'

'No, I don't understand anything of it. I came home and he seemed to be in shock by something and a few hours later he self harmed a lot and had to go to the hospital. He hasn't talked since that day, I might want to take him to the doctor or a therapist or something.'

I saw that Dream nodded slowly and then grabbed my hand, making me flinch and immediately pull away. Dream looked at me in confusion and then smiled. 'Can I hold your hand?'

I nodded slightly and Dream grabbed my hand, locking his fingers with mine. I could feel my face heat up a little and I felt my stomach feel a bit weird. I shyly looked at our hands locked and smiled softly. Dream giggled a little next to me and held my hand tighter.

'I'm only holding your hand, I won't hurt you, Gogy,' he said to calm me down.

I nodded and I relaxed my tightened muscles. All the three of us walked to the car and I sat down with Dream in the back. He was still holding my hand and rubbed his thumb over it slowly. He smiled at me constantly and after a while I looked at him shortly, moving closer.

I looked at his shoulder and he noticed. 'You can rest your head on my shoulder if you want to,' Dream said smiling.

I nodded slowly and rested my head on his shoulder.

'George, just remember how much I care about you. You can always talk to me and if you can't speak for some reason, you can also write it down if you want.'

I nodded again and sat closer next to him, closing my eyes. He rested his head against mine and kept rubbing my hand.

'I love you, George. You know that right? You're the best friend I could have ever wished for and even if you don't talk, I still love you a lot. If something is wrong, please try and tell me or otherwise write it to me.'

1063 words