Alone Without You

15

TW's:
-Rape!!! (Sexual content+description)
-Shock/panic attack (self hate+disgust
-Suicidal thoughts and slight plans of it

I was so shocked about what was happening again that I literally didn't care about her touching me with her hands and whatever. I had my eyes closed, having tears stream down my face.

I really thought I had two good plans, but my dad wasn't upstairs and Dream was just mad at me and really broken. I opened my eyes for a little and looked at her really enjoying what she was doing.

She started forcing me to touch her at places now and I cried loudly now. I was sobbing and I was breathing quickly. I wished I could scream at her to stop, but I just couldn't say anything. I was so shocked and traumatised about the last times and I didn't want to do anything more than cry.

After she would rape me for the third time, I just knew I would kill myself. I didn't want to live with this intense feeling of guilt and disgust. I just couldn't.

Just as she started raping me again and was kissing me intensely meanwhile, forcing her tongue in my mouth, I heard footsteps on the stairs. She immediately rolled away from me and hid herself in the corner of the room. I kept crying and I heard someone standing in front of the door.

'Open now.' It was Dream.

'No, we are busy.'

'You are busy with really different things. Open the door now, or I'll kick it.'

'No, I don't think that's possible.'

I hid myself under the blankets, but I was honestly too in shock to do anything but cry. She might not have done it fully, but she raped me again.

I suddenly heard a really loud bang against my door and the door flew open, hitting my wall. Dream ran in and he looked at both of us.

'I don't even know your name, but you better leave right at this second or I think I won't really hold back from hitting you harder than I ever thought I would be able to.'

'I just had sex with him.'

'I don't think you did, he's crying, he's traumatised since a few weeks. He's extremely scared of you, leave right now.'

'Can you just turn around at least to let me dress up.'

'No, not at all. Do you think I'm going to care about anything of your privacy if you do these things to my best friend.'

'He's not even your friend, he's mine.'

'Okay, proud of you. Now leave. Literally if you're not gone here within two seconds, I will hit you.'

Zoey froze a little and Dream didn't care about her barely wearing anything. He pushed her towards the hallway, throwing her clothes at her. She pulled them on and started running away.

Dream immediately sat down on my bed and I had only been staring at the ceiling. Dream grabbed my clothes and gave them to me, but I didn't move at all, causing him to help me put them on. I didn't even realise it, I didn't realise the fact he was seeing how I looked, I really didn't care.

I was only staring at the ceiling and Dream laid down next to me.

'I'm so sorry for being mad at you, George. I feel so incredibly guilty about what I did, but I was sad.'

I didn't show any sort of reaction to him and I kept staring.

'I think you're in a shock, Georgie. I'm going to hug you and hold your hand, okay?'

I didn't reply to him again and he held me tightly in his arms, holding my hand.

'Can you squeeze my hand if you're understanding what I'm saying?'

I squeezed his hand really lightly and he smiled. 'Okay, you understand me. Shall I sing for you?'

I gave him a really small nod and Dream grabbed his phone to sing me my favourite song. He started singing it really quietly for me which calmed me down a lot.

It was five minutes later when the realisation came this time. I got raped again, it just happened again. It was my own fault again.

I started crying now, sobbing loudly in Dream's arms.

'You can cry, Georgie. You can cry and I'm here for you to comfort you, okay? We are just going to cuddle together and if you want to talk a little, you can, okay?'

I nodded slowly, sobbing loudly in his arms. I was crying his whole shirt wet, but he didn't mind at all. 'Cry your emotions out, Georgie.'

I nodded again, I was wishing I was able to talk with him and tell him everything that was going on, but I was so shocked about what happened, I couldn't get a single word out of my mouth.

'Georgie, shall I tell you stories?'

I nodded and he smiled at me, starting to tell me stories. I loved listening to his stories and I just quietly cried in his arms as he kept talking to me. After his first story he looked at me and smiled. 'Can I kiss you somewhere?'

I nodded slowly.

'Where would you like a kiss?'

I pointed at my hair and Dream kissed my hair softly. 'Another kiss?'

I pointed at my cheek and Dream kissed my cheek. 'You are so beautiful, do you know that?'

I shook my head and Dream smiled. 'But you really are. I don't think she's really your girlfriend, is she?'

I shook my head heavily.

'I'm sorry for not immediately helping you, but I didn't know, I'm so sorry. I was crying and your mum was comforting me. I stood up to grab something out of my room and I saw your help message. I immediately ran upstairs to help you, but I think it was too late. I still don't really know what exactly happened, but I'm going to help you with it as much as I can.'

I nodded slowly and looked up at Dream, really fighting to get my words out.

'R-r-rape.'

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