Alone Without You

27

TW's:
-Mentions mental breakdowns/panic attacks/psychoses/self harm
-Mentions rape

Three months later...

Whole days long I had been waiting for the day Zoey would stand here in our house with a baby and today-. The bell rang and Dream stood up. I was sitting downstairs for the first time in months, all these months had been an absolute hell.

My trauma got worse and worse and I cried all night long, screaming about what happened. I even had five psychoses in which I saw her and I was completely getting crazy. Dream didn't wake up once and I went downstairs, hurting myself with anything I could see. As soon as he realised, he carried me upstairs and hugged me so tightly that I couldn't escape anymore.

He was there for me whole days long, I was never alone. He was always here for me when I needed him. He went to the supermarket with me, he always opened the door for me, he was with me everywhere.

I listened to Dream opening the door and it seemed to escalate quickly.

'Let me see George.'

'No, you're not going to see him ever again. You're just really politely giving his kid to me right now and you are going to leave.'

'He's the father of my kid too.'

'You RAPED him, I'm not letting you see him. You traumatised my best friend and I will literally beat you up if you try and touch him in any way.'

'I just want to speak to him.'

'You don't have to speak to him at all, you've caused enough in his life. You raped him three times, get the hell out of here right now.'

'I want to speak to George.'

'You're not going to speak to George. I swore to protect him and I will protect him, you're not coming in here, you're disgusting and I don't want anything to do with you ever in my life again.'

'But she's my kid too.'

'Yes and you choose to give your kid away.'

'I don't want a kid from that idiot.'

'Okay, good for you. Now please leave us alone and let us enjoy ourselves.'

'Can I just see him for a minute? I will stand on a distance and you can literally stand in between us.'

'What do you want from him? He is traumatised because of you, I can't let you see him, please just leave before I kick you out.'

I heard Zoey sigh really deeply. 'I never want to hear anything of him and this stupid kid. I hate you all so much.'

'Okay, bye.'

Dream closed the door carefully. 'George.'

I stood up and I ran towards Dream, holding our baby really carefully. He was smiling really brightly and he walked to the couch, laying the baby down carefully. He couldn't stop smiling anymore and he held me really tightly. The baby was a girl and I also smiled shyly.

'She's gorgeous, she looks like you,' Dream said smiling from ear to ear.

I didn't know how to reply at this at all and I bursted into tears. Mostly because I just wasn't ready, but also because she was really beautiful and I loved her already.

Dream smiled at me. 'Can I hug you?'

I nodded slightly and Dream hugged me really tightly. 'She's so beautiful, just as you.'

I smiled shyly and wiped my tears away. 'I guess it's just all a little much for me at this moment.'

'I fully understand. It's all a little difficult now, but I have a surprise for you.'

'What?'

'I know this is too difficult for you at this moment and that's totally fine and understandable. Sapnap and Bad are coming here in a few days.'

'Really?'

'Yes. And I'm going to pay therapy for you if you're ready.'

I nodded slightly. 'I firstly want to go to the police.'

'Are you ready for that?'

I nodded slightly. 'What are we going to call her? I haven't had time to think about that.'

'We are going to think for a while about that.'

I nodded slowly and Dream kneeled down next to the couch, holding the small hands of the baby.

'Hello,' he said with a high and cute voice. 'You're really beautiful and cute.' He smiled at the baby and kissed her nose really softly. 'You're the daughter of my best friend and I consider you as my daughter too. I'm going to be your father just as George. I'm Clay, sweetie.'

The baby smiled really softly and Dream tapped her nose softly. 'I always like telling stories to George and now I can tell stories to you too,' Dream smiled. He was still holding her hands and very carefully hugged her.

'You look like George, you have those amazing brown eyes too. I really love your dad and now I'm your dad too.' He pointed at me. 'That's your father.' He pointed at himself after. 'I'm your father too.'

He looked at me. 'We should call the maternity nurse.'

I nodded slowly and I sat down in shock. I wasn't ready, I had never felt this bad in my life. I suddenly had a kid for the rest of my life and I wasn't ready at all. I sighed softly as Dream called for the help who was coming here the first days. I had no idea how I had to take care of this baby and I suddenly couldn't handle it anymore.

I stood up and I ran to my room, bursting into tears after. Of course I was happy to see my beautiful baby, she was my kid, but still. I wasn't ready and I hated the fact she came from rape and Zoey was her mother. I cried my eyes out just as long as Dream came upstairs, holding the baby tightly to lay her down in the small bed we set up in our room.

Dream tried comforting me, but tears kept coming. I was breaking completely already, I wasn't able to deal with this at all. I couldn't take care of a kid when I couldn't even take care of myself.

1020 words