Alone Without You

11

TW's:
-Small panic attack/flashbacks
-Mentions starvation
-Mentions rape

It was a week later and I still didn't talk at all. No one knew about what happened yet and I was glad about that. I was taking medication everyday now, but it didn't seem to work that well yet. I ate and drank a little more so I didn't have to get a tube, but I didn't feel like it at all.

Dream was here for a few months longer and I was glad for that. He made me really calm, he made me blush a lot and I often had butterflies in my stomach now. I never had feelings for anyone, but definitely not for boys. It sucked that I just couldn't simply talk about it.

Dream made me feel so calm and I tried communicating with him, but it just didn't come out of my mouth. Dream was constantly distracting me a little and today he wanted to play a game with me.

'Georgie? Shall we play put a finger down? Then you can sort of communicate with me without saying anything!'

I nodded and smiled shyly. Dream grabbed his phone, looking up some questions for us.

'Put a finger down if you ever had a nosebleed,' Dream giggled as he asked the question.

I put a finger down just as Dream did.

'Put a finger down if you ever took a selfie.'

We both put down a finger again and they game kept continuing, until it got a little weirder. Dream didn't realise it really so kept reading the list of questions he had.

'Put a finger down if you're not a virgin anymore.'

My eyes widened a little and I felt my hands shaking a little. Dream didn't seem to put his finger down and I slowly put down a finger. Dream giggled and looked at me.

'What unknown crush are you keeping a secret for me?'

I stared at my hands and felt my chest tighten. I tried hiding it for Dream and tried smiling a little, which hopelessly failed. My smile ended up in a small sob and I started breathing a little faster. Dream looked at me with a confused look and smiled softly.

'You don't have to tell me anything, don't worry. It's your life and I bet they were amazing. You can keep those things to yourself.'

I shook my head heavily to show him she wasn't amazing at all. He looked at me and smiled softly. 'You don't have to tell me anything, it's your life.'

I nodded slowly and suddenly felt a tear drop down my face. Dream grabbed my hand and I immediately pulled away again. He smiled at me and grabbed my hand again, this time I let him. He moved closer to me and sat down next to me.

'Can I tell you something, Georgie?'

I nodded and Dream took a deep breath.

'Last weeks I have been feeling so happy around you. In a good way, Georgie. I like cuddling with you and I like being with you. Well, to be really honest, you're also pretty cute. You know, George. I know I was telling you about that girl, but I think I'm just happy enough with you as my best friend. I don't need anything more than be near you or Sapnap. You always cheer me up, no matter what happens.'

I smiled shyly and noticed my cheeks heating up.

'I actually really love you, Georgie. I think you're really sweet and beautiful. You're also really cute when you blush like that and when you smile or giggle. I know I'm making you a little flustered, aren't I?'

I smiled and hid my face, nodding softly.

'I know it might be weird to say so suddenly, but I just wanted to tell you this. I know you aren't talking, but uh- do you like- feel happy when you're around me? You haven't been talking and that's totally fine, but I hope I'm not just annoying you. I'm just asking, because you see, I really love you. I know this is really sudden, but I can't keep things silent for long with my ADHD.'

I nodded and giggled.

'Do you like me being here with you?'

I shrugged and nodded at the same time.

'You're not sure?'

I nodded, but giggled after.

'Do you want me to leave?' Dream asked nervously.

I shrugged again and I grabbed Dream's phone, opening his notes.

After what happened, I'm confused about everything that's happening. I like you being with me, but I'm sometimes scared.

'I totally understand. At least, I understand that part, I don't know what happened to you.'

I nodded slightly and grabbed Dream's hand, holding it tightly. I noticed Dream blush a little and he smiled. 'You're making me so happy now. I don't really know what to do to make you happy too.'

I giggled shyly and grabbed his phone again.

I feel as happy as I can be when I'm around you, but I just don't realise what's going after everything that happened. You've always been my best friend so don't even doubt that, I guess I love you too even when I never say that.

'I understand, it must be really hard. How far can I go? Hug you? I don't think you will be ready for me to actually cuddle up with you?

You can hug me.

Dream smiled and blushed again, then hugging me carefully. He smiled at me as we broke apart and I giggled. I pointed at my hand to show him he could kiss my hand and Dream nodded slowly, pressing his lips very shortly on my hand.

'Oh gosh, you're so sweet.'

I hid my face in Dream's hoodie and I could feel his heart beating extremely fast.

'I'm so nervous,' Dream whispered. 'I really want to do good things for you and I'm really scared to do something wrong, you're so vulnerable at the moment. I don't want to mess anything up so badly that I might ruin the chance to be your friend.'

You never did anything wrong.

Dream smiled and hugged me tightly.

1018 words