'Til The End

Halloween: Part Two

When Remus woke up, for a few minutes, he didn't know what the feeling was settled into his stomach, but when he made to get up and Sirius stopped him, desperation filling his tone, he realised exactly what was wrong. Halloween. It had been another year without Lily and James, so Remus crawled back into bed. He held Sirius as they sobbed, his heart full of hurt. When an owl or two pecked at the window Remus just buried his face in Sirius' hair until they went away again. He knew there was one from Mary, one from the Weasley's and probably one from Minerva. Harry would be in class, braving the day, while he and Sirius, two grown-ass men, lay in bed crying. They'd have to go to school at some point.

So, three hours late, he and Sirius dragged themselves up into the castle. In the entrance hall Sirius hugged him, as though he was never going to let go. Remus rested his chin on Sirius' head for a moment, squeezing him tighter, then let go again. 'Love you.' Remus kissed Sirius' head gently, then, very slowly, began the walk to his office.

Remus pushed open the heavy wooden door to his office, and scowled furiously when he saw a chair in the room was already occupied. 'Lupin.' Snape sneered, 'you're late. I was sent to wait for you.' Remus slammed the door shut and dropped his briefcase on the floor. 'I'm here now, so you can piss off.' Snape tutted, staring at Remus coolly, obviously taking in Remus' appearance. 'Not very nice, is it, Lupin? What is it that's bothering you?' Snape must be having a fucking laugh. Of course he was, a smile. A smile on that prick's face. 'I'll tell you what's bothering me. YOU'RE SITTING HERE ASKING ME WHAT'S BOTHERING ME WHEN YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S FUCKING BOTHERING ME! CAN YOU READ, SNIVELLOUS? THAT DATE, RIGHT THERE? YEAH? WELL TODAY IS THE DEATH ANNIVERSARY OF TWO OF THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE THAT NEVER FUCKING LET ME DOWN! THE PUREST PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET AND THE TWO PEOPLE THAT DIED PROTECTING THEIR FUCKING FAMILY. SO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!' Remus screamed, grief and anger taking over him. Snape tutted again, suddenly bright red, but left. Remus stood there panting, before the tears started to come again, and he simply didn't have the energy to stand anymore, so collapsed to the floor. He cried until he could barely breathe, and Sirius came in. Sirius held him while he shook, his sobs coming in gasps, then they cried together. He clung to Sirius and tried to pretend everything was ok, but it wasn't. Remus wasn't able to choke any words out, and Sirius didn't seem able to say anything more either. The pain was like it was fourteen years ago. Raw.

The dinner bell rang, and Remus and Sirius dragged themselves to dinner. Remus sat prodding a roll, watching Sirius stir soup out of the corner of his eye and fixing a smile on his face whenever a student came up to ask if he and Sirius were ok. When Remus caught tears rolling down Sirius' face, he'd give his hand a quick squeeze. 

When Remus stood up to give his speech, Minerva stopped him and stood up herself. 'If I may have your attention.' Minerva said, and the usual sound of students shushing each other loudly fell across the hall. 'Happy Halloween, Ladies and Gentlemen. Though for some of you maybe not so happy.' She glared at the Gryffindor table where Hermione and Ron were hiding Harry from morons who might be watching. 'I hope most of you enjoyed our wonderful feast, but Professor Lupin has asked me to make you aware of some of the changes happening in the school. Professor Black will now be teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts, as Professor Umbridge has left the school. A muggle postal system has been installed for any of you that with to write home and are not able to use an owl. The next extra-curricular Defence lesson, run by Potter, is Thursday, and all of those who normally attend are expected. The Inquisitorial Squad no longer has permission to take away any house points, or hand out detentions, or anything other than a regular student. Professor Lupin and Professor Black are introducing a new rule. Any discrimination towards anyone, will be an owl home, a significant amount of house points lost and a weeks worth of detention. Have I made myself clear? Excellent.' When Minerva had taken her seat next to Sirius, she leaned in slightly, 'you two may leave if you wish,' she muttered. Remus held out his hand for Sirius to grab, pointedly ignoring all the stares. They left the hall and went straight upstairs, ignoring the running footsteps behind them. 

Remus locked himself straight in his and Sirius' room, but Sirius waited outside for Harry and who Remus assumed was Hermione, Ron and Ginny. When Sirius clicked the door open, he hastily changed before sitting on the end of their bed, crying quietly with his head between his knees. Remus bustled around a little more, trying to stop the tears before going to Sirius. He didn't succeed. So instead Remus sat next to Sirius, who leaned against him for a moment. 'Sleep.' Sirius said quietly, then clambered into bed. Remus got in beside him, and could feel Sirius' tears on his chest. 

'I miss them.' Sirius muttered, and Remus was too heartbroken to say anything, so simply squeezed his hand.