Baby, Baby, Baby

Prolouge

Amanda Pov

Sammy continued to grow up faster than I could ever be prepared for, (even though I knew that she was just a lively 5 year old), it being her first day of kindergarten reminding me of this fact more so than anything else, (though her being a sassy little girl was also constantly reminding me of said fact).

We were just outside the classroom, Sammy was hesitant to go in, (not that I'd blame her for that as I didn't like school very much), but I also didn't want her to miss out on making friends her own age, because as much as I would like to think that I talked to her a lot, (like I don't know how to shit the fuck up), I probably wasn't helpful in talking with anyone her age, (also she is an only child and there wasn't many children her age around us at all).

"Momma"
"Yeah Baby"
"I don't wanna go in"
"I know you don't wanna go in Baby, (kisses hands), I know, but you'll make loads of friends"
"Can you stay?"
"I'm sorry Baby, I can't stay"
"Why not?"
"Because I don't go to school Darling"

Sammy just looked so bloody sad and it just hurt me that it was because I was sending her to school, even if it was for her to be social with other children her age, (she didn't really get that at home because she was an only child), I was trying really hard to not back down about school, I only kept my composure because I think that I would've felt worse if I broke down in front of Sammy.

"What if I'm the only person that doesn't make friends?"
"You won't be Darling"
"But how do you know that Momma?"
"Because you are the kindest little girl I know Sweetheart"
"But I'm the only little girl that you know Momma"
"That doesn't make it any less true"
"I guess not"
"Come on, I'll walk you into your classroom Darling"
"Ok Momma"

So I walked her into the classroom and she still looked so scared, (and I was not good with dealing with scared Sammy, ok, I'm actually probably worse at it than Danny was with and that's saying something considering his track record with his emotions and shit), so I did what I thought was the best thing to do, which was to talk to her again, (look, I'm no child expert here, I just know my Daughter and it does work for her here Babes).

"Hey Baby, it's going to be ok"
"But how do you know that Momma?"
"Because unfortunately I have been around for a while and that comes with knowing things"
"But you're not that old Momma"
"No I'm not old, you're right, (kisses forehead), but I've been around enough to know that most things turn out ok in the end Darling"
"I guess so Momma"

She really didn't look all that convinced but I couldn't stay, and she was already there so I didn't want to take her back out again otherwise she would've never settled into school, (and that was not something that I could handle), so I did what I thought was the best way to go about it, (though I don't think that I made an awful decision about it here).

"Ok, I have to go now Baby"
"Can we have pizza for dinner?"
"Sure Sweetheart, (kisses nose), Daddy will probably be happy that he's not cooking tonight"
"Is Daddy picking me up?"
"Yes Darling, Daddy's picking you up"
"Ok, I love you Momma"
"I love you too Baby"

I felt bloody awful for leaving her there, but she wasn't going to get any interaction with other children her age by staying at home with me, (no matter how much I wanted to keep her at home with me), so it was better for her in the long run to start school, I know that she would've started school earlier if I was still in Essex, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it, (if I'm being completely honest with you here that makes me feel a whole lot worse and I don't know how to deal with that).

I got home and Danny was about to leave for work, (as you do), so naturally he asked about how Sammy got on entering the classroom, (because she's his daughter too).

"How did drop off go?"
"There were no tears this morning, but I'm not sure how she'll be at pickup for you"
"Is there anything that might ease pickup?"
"She asked for Pizza for dinner, which I assume means the pizza that's down the street, (kiss), so picking dinner up might help"
"Alright Babe, I gotta go"
"Ok, I love you"
"I love you too"