Baby, Baby, Baby

Eleven

Amanda Pov

It was Sammy's birthday and she was turning 6, which meant after this birthday, I only had one more birthday until I fucking died, (yes it's a bit morbid for me to be thinking about on my child's birthday but I can't change it), and I didn't know how to feel about it, (what am I supposed to feel about it though), I still didn't tell Danny about this, I mean I couldn't tell Danny, as he'd want to try and change the future, which got me into this mess in the first place and I didn't want that to happen to Sammy, as she deserves better than that, (I know that I don't technically deserve it, but I can deal with it being my reality).

So it was early morning, (but not like stupid o'clock in the morning), I was still in bed while Danny was snoring in my ear, (though he wasn't gonna wake up until he absolutely needed to), Sammy came in and at first I thought something was wrong, (because it was her summer holidays, well I guess Summer vacation to the Americans here, and she had been sleeping a bit later than normal).

"Hey Baby, you ok?"
"Yeah Momma, I'm ok, just wanted a cuddle"
"Ok Baby, (kisses cheek), Happy Birthday"
"Thank you"
"You're welcome"

So I held Sammy and it could sound weird when I say this, (though I guess it couldn't be any weirder than a future seeing great Aunt predicting my death here), but it felt like the most natural thing for me to do, (Motherhood is fucking wild let me tell ya Babes), Danny was surprisingly still snoring away beside me, (he was becoming more of a light sleeper now that he was in his thirties, not that he'd appreciate me saying that to anyone but sue me, it's true).

"Momma"
"Yeah Baby"
"What was I like as a baby?"
"Well, you were a very cuddly baby"
"Really?"
"Yeah really, if you weren't sleeping, either Daddy or I would be holding you, and sometimes you would wake up if we put you into your bed"
"Your arms must have been tired though Momma"

I don't know where Sammy got her concern from, (as she was very barely 6 years old here), but it was just so adorable, (I know that we're not supposed to find a regular human trait adorable but fucking sue me Susan), I also didn't have the heart to tell her the entire truth, so I told her the slightly sugarcoated version of the truth.

"I can't say for Daddy, but my arms did get tired sometimes, but I also knew that there would be a day when you wouldn't want to cuddle me as much"
"That would never happen Momma"
"No?, why's that Baby?"
"Because I like your cuddles too much, they make me feel safe"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah"
"Ok Baby"

God this girl was going to make me cry, but obviously I couldn't just start crying because I would've had a very concerned Husband and Daughter and that was the last thing that I even wanted, especially on Sammy's birthday, (I know that this makes me sound sappy and old, but fuck it, I really don't bloody care).

"Momma"
"Yeah Baby"
"Do you think we'll have flying cars in the future?"
"We could have, though it also depends on the technology that's used Baby"
"That's true Momma, but it would be totally cool"
"It would be Baby"

Sammy fell back to sleep not long afterwards, it was almost like she woke up enough to go back to sleep on me, (though it was really early, so there's that), Danny then woke up beside me, (I told you that he had become a lighter sleeper here), he looked dead tired but I wasn't going to say to him as that was the last thing he needed.

"Nightmare?"
"No, she came in not too long ago, talked for a bit and then fell back to sleep"
"Did you sleep at all last night?"
"What do you think?"
"I'm gonna take that as a no"
"I don't know why you're surprised Babe, I am an insomniac"
"I know, you don't have to remind me"
"Anyway, it's not like you sleep much better nowadays"
"I just sleep lighter nowadays"
"It's what happens when you hit your 30's"
"Fuck off"
"No, you'd miss me too much"
"Hmm, (kiss), I would miss you too much"

I don't say it to Danny all that often, (his head didn't need to be any bigger than what it was already), but I genuinely don't think that I would've actually been as happy as I had been if I had never met him, (should I tell him, probably, but that means opening up and I'm shit at that).