Baby, Baby, Baby

Thirteen

Amanda Pov

Driving to the Lawyers Office felt like I was driving to my death, Toby was going to meet me there as he knew the legal lingo that I needed for my will here, (I'm not entirely sure what he actually does for work, I just know he has some legal lingo for that reason).

Anyway, we were waiting outside the lawyers office to be seen, it was just us as I guess that it was a on appointment basis here, (if that makes any sense to you), and so we had a little bit of time to kill, (yeah that doesn't sound great but it was the truth here).

"You feeling ok Kiddo?"
"Not really, but this has be done"
"What do you even have that needs to be taken care of?"
"Who has Sammy if Danny dies after me, who looks after £100,000-"
"You still have that?"
"Yep, I couldn't use it knowing that it came from Gary, so it's Sammy's now"

I could see Toby thinking things through here, and I didn't know wether that was a good thing or not, as it could've meant that he was worried about me here, (it wasn't often that I couldn't read Toby), I hated not knowing what he was thinking about things.

"What if Sammy doesn't want to use the money because of Gary?"
"She won't know that it's Gary's money Toby"
"How do you know that Darling, shit that kids ain't supposed to know gets blurted out by adults all the time"
"Because not even Danny knows where it comes from, actually he doesn't know about the money full stop"
"How does he not know about the money?"
"Because he leaves me in charge of all finances as he hates dealing with money, I didn't argue as that made hiding that £100,000 way easier for me"
"That actually makes sense"
"I do try to make sense Daddyo"

I was then called into the lawyers office and I honestly have no memory of what the fuck went on in there other than the fact that I now had a will, (yes, it's bad that I blocked the entire thing out, but I can't make myself remember).

Toby and I were in the car, (we weren't driving yet, as there was things to discuss), it still felt like impending doom was looming over me and I know that was dramatic to feel but I can't say that it was entirely irrational, as I did have a family curse on my arse, as much as I was trying to hide that little fact from Danny.

"That was a lot"
"You don't say"
"Piss off Toby"
"You brought me here"
"That's not helpful at all"
"I did say that to ya"
"Yeah well you're my Dad, so you don't get back outsies from this shit"
"Good to know Kiddo"
"Glad to be of service Daddyo"

I didn't really talk for the rest of the drive to Toby's house, partly because I was all talked out, (making sure my will was in place was actually so emotionally draining), but partly because I was trying to process all the shit from the past year or two, (Toby probably knew this, so he didn't try

Toby pulled up outside his house, and so I went in to have a cuppa before I got Sammy from school, as I really needed that cuppa, (while tea can't fix everything, it sure helps with feelings like the ones I was feeling).

"Here you go Darling"
"Thank you"
"You're welcome, I know that you were shitting it going to the lawyers office, and I know that you do better with having a cuppa afterwards"
"You know me well"
"I should hope so, I did raise ya"
"Oh ha ha, you know what I meant"
"I did, I just like annoying you from time to time Kiddo"
"(Snorts), of course, silly me, why didn't I think of that"
"You don't need to be so sarcastic"
"Yeah well I'm dying, sue me"

Yeah that might've been a bit morbid, even for me here, but like how else was I supposed to try and accept the fact that I was going to die after Sammy turned 7?, ok, joking about this kind of shit was how I learned how to cope with the tomfuckery that life likes to throw at ya, ya know, (though I'm not assuming what you know here).

"Why do you need to joke about dying Kiddo"
"To cope with it, you should know that by now Daddyo"
"I should, but it's easily forgotten when life hasn't been as shit"
"I suppose that you have a point here, though I also should've known better than forget that I had more to lose the more I gained from my dream, ya know"
"You have a generational curse, you are one person fighting it, you should give yourself some credit"
"It's hard not to blab to Danny about it, but he couldn't keep the fact that Sammy was a girl secret, let alone something of this magnitude"