Baby, Baby, Baby

Two

Amanda Pov

It was like 2 O'clock in the morning, Danny was snoring his arse off, (because of course he was), though even if he wasn't snoring, (not that he'd ever get his snoring checked out, no matter how much I tell him that he definitely should get it checked out here), I would've still have been wide awake as insomnia is a fucking arsehole, (fucking sue me Susan), so I was just laying there, hoping that I would catch some zz's, knowing that I wasn't going to get any.

Though me not actually being asleep did mean that I heard Sammy scream from having a nightmare, (not that I would want her to have a nightmare but at least I knew, I know it sounds really fucking weird, ok I know that, but it's the truth), so I obviously got out of bed, as I couldn't sit there and not do anything as hearing Sammy scream like that made my stomach twist with anxiety, so when I got to Sammy, well she was sobbing her heart out.

"Hey hey, Baby, it's ok"

I repeated that mantra over and over again to try and calm Sammy down, and honestly it felt like it was doing nothing but it worked, (though that could've just been because she was 5 years old rather than it actually working per say), and even though she wasn't crying anymore, she just looked so sad and worried and I didn't know how to cope with that, (like I can barely cope with me being sad and worried, let alone deal with my baby being sad and worried here).

"Do you want to talk about your nightmare Sweetheart?"
"You died Momma"
"Oh Baby, I'm ok, I promise"

I mentally noted that I would need to talk to my Aunt Dotty about it as it was fifth night in a row that Sammy had that peculiar nightmare, (my Aunt Dotty had somewhat of a third eye when it came to the future here, so she'd have some answers for me), also Aunt Dotty actually knows that I illegally legally changed my name, (if that makes any sort of sense to you), (probably not, but it makes me feel a bit better so fuck it, it's fine Babes).

I tucked Sammy back into bed, as I knew that if I let her stay up, she would be worse in the morning, (also I didn't want to be dealing with a sleep deprived child, dealing with sleep deprivation for myself is enough), so instead I just tucked her back into bed so that she would at least sleep some more, even if it took hours, (yes I know I'm a slight hypocrite here because I wouldn't go back to bed to go to sleep if I were in her shoes, but I digress).

"Momma"
"Yeah Baby"
"Can you stay?"
"Sure Baby, (kisses cheek), scoot over"
"(Quiet giggle), I can't move over Momma"

She probably could have moved over if she wasn't scared and sleep deprived, (which is a horrific combination especially for a 5 year old), but I wasn't going to argue with her over it, so I instead offered a solution of sorts, as I knew that she would take to that idea better.

"Well then you're gonna have to sleep on me then Kiddo, as I'm not fitting in that space"
"I can deal with that Momma"
"Of course, alrighty then Buba, you gotta go back to sleep"
"What if I have that dream again?"
"Then I'll be right here, Ok Baby"
"Ok Momma, love you"
"I love you too Baby"

So Sammy actually fell straight back to sleep after this, (which I was surprised at as she usually took ages to fall back asleep, I wasn't complaining though), and I went back to not sleeping because of Insomnia, (I know Insomnia won't go away but it's really had been a bitch lately), though I did feel better knowing that Sammy was actually sleeping rather than not knowing and being in my own bed, ya know, (or maybe you don't know, I probably shouldn't assume that you do know).

I just laid there, knowing that I wouldn't sleep, (not that I was sleeping before Sammy woke up from her nightmare here), but hoping that Sammy would sleep peacefully, but knowing that she wouldn't sleep peacefully at all, though I would've traded the world for her to sleep peacefully, even if that meant the oxygen in my lungs.

Watching the oranges and golds dancing across the ceiling while rising into the morning definitely helped pass the time by, the pressure of Sammy sleeping on my chest helped with realising why I stayed in her bed, (though I don't think I needed much convincing of that here, but who knows?).