imagine: you'd been keeping it from him for so long, but now it was too late. he knew you were sick, but he thought you'd get better.
y/n's pov
"y/n!" jeongin rushes over with his hands by his side, finally reaching out to hold yours, "how did it go? will your surgery go well?"
"well..."
"y/n..."
you glanced towards your doctor with downcast eyes as a tear fell down your cheek, "i know."
"did you speak to him? your fiancé?"
"jeongin?" you mumbled his name, biting down on your lip nervously as you clenched your eyes shut. he knew your answer just by meeting your eyes, you teared up just at the sound of his name, perhaps it would be the last time you could say his name.
"i gave you three months," he sat back against his chair, holding back the tears he was desperate to shed. "you had three months to tell him, to warn him."
"he was so happy..." you cried, wiping at your teary eyes, "he'd be scared and have to wait three months... don't tell him."
three months was surely enough time to tell him, or to at least mention it. but, every time it was brought into the conversation, you brushed it off and told jeongin how well your hospital appointment went. you hid your hospital letters, and most of the time you didn't tell him when your next appointment would be, he'd ask to go with you and be there... then he'd find out everything.
"the chances that you won't make it through the surgery are high-"
"i know," you nodded with such an empty feeling, your eyes tired and puffy. "i don't have time now."
your surgery was less than an hour away, you needed to get yourself ready so you had no time to tell jeongin.
"i'll be fine," you lied, nodding your head with a fake smile as you glanced up at jeongin.
"y/n," he lifted his hands to cup your cheeks, "did you cry?"
"no," your hand reached up to hold his, resting yourself against the warmth of his palm.
he already looked scared, and nervous. he had every right to be. it was the last time he'd see you again.
"you'll really be okay?" he didn't seem to believe you, and you couldn't blame him.
your long pause and blank face worried him even more, you noticed the tears in his eyes and swallowed harshly before smiling once more. "it's okay," you held your hand against his cheek, moving it back to comb your fingers through his hair one last time. "when i'm in surgery, don't wait for me. stay with your friends."
"y/n-"
"if you sit here and worry, it'll only make me feel worse. i'll see you soon, okay?"
"you're coming back, right? y/n, you told me everything, didn't you?"
the sound of footsteps approached you, you knew it was time to leave him.
"y/n," he called as your hand began to fall from his cheek, your smile weak and your eyes still, "y/n!"
you refused to answer him, you didn't want to have to lie - you hadn't lied to him at all, you just kept things from him.
"y/n!" he screamed for you as he was held back by other nurses approaching, "don't go... please, don't go!"
his whimpers grew quiet as he was dragged further away, trying to struggle out of the tight hold on him.
you couldn't help but clench your fist, your wedding ring tightened in your grip - you'd have to let it go at some point, yet you couldn't bring yourself to do it.
"jeongin," you began to hum to yourself and, with every hum, you let out silent whimpers.
you replayed every word he ever said to you in the back of your mind, and your heart broke a little more every time.
looking up at those bright lights as nurses and doctors began to surround you, you felt your vision slowly grow darker.
along with your last breath, a tear fell from your eye.
you could already see jeongin with his head bowed down, his hands tearing at his hair as he rocked himself back and forth. you wanted nothing more than to comfort him and hold him by your side.
"jeongin-" your arm extended out towards him, but you pulled back at the realisation that... he couldn't feel your touch.
you didn't say goodbye properly, you didn't tell him how in love you were... and here he was, left with nothing.
"i'm sorry."
