imagine: after waking up from your accident, you find yourself patiently waiting for minho's return.
y/n's pov
the next few days had passed slowly and you were finally at home, it felt odd not having minho around, but you still waited for him to call or text you. he wasn't there when you woke up, and he hadn't visited once since you got home, chan wasn't picking up his phone, neither was jisung. there wasn't a time you had to worry about where minho was, or if he was okay, so you felt scared.
you missed him, and you constantly looked back on the times you spent with him, wondering when you'd be able to see him again. surely he would come back to you by now, he wouldn't just leave you... he'd be worried, wouldn't he?
"y/n," your mom pushed open the door, a letter in her hand as she reached out to you.
"is he here?"
"you're still waiting for him?" she sighed, shaking her head, "he hasn't texted you?"
"no one's answering their phone..."
"i'm sure they're busy," she smiled weakly, handing you the letter in her hand, "there was a letter addressed to you, sorry i didn't give it to you."
"when did it arrive?" you stared blankly at the letter, refraining from opening it for a moment.
she shrugged, it seemed to arrive when she wasn't aware.
your nails scratched at the envelope, tearing it open from either side of the letter. you pulled the card out to reveal the lettering that froze you entirely.
a celebration of life:
lee minho
the card slipped from your fingers, instantly bringing it back to your attention to read through the information.
October 28, 2021
your mom rushed to your side, watching your legs fumble as you tried to keep yourself upright. her arms reached out to hold you, her fingers brushing back your hair as the tangled pieces covered the tears welling in your eyes.
"y/n-"
"what's todays date..."
you felt as though you were at a loss, you were in shock so everything you read hardly processed in your mind.
"october 28-"
you pulled away to separate yourself from your mom's arms, slipping on your shoes along with the coat hung up on your door.
"where are you going?" your mom spoke out to you, but her words began to fuse together, her voice echoing as you left through the door.
you continued to call your friends, waiting for them to pick up whilst you dragged yourself through the pouring rain. there was a reason he didn't come to see you, there was a reason his friends ignored you... there was a reason why you were so afraid.
you pushed your way through the cemetery gates, and your eyes focused on the back of felix's head before he leant against changbin, their heads bowed and their legs shaky. a part of you felt like falling to your knees, another part of you felt like standing there emptily, your expression blank as you watched your love slowly descend into the ground.
"m-minho-" you cried, loud enough for the boys to turn their heads in your direction. chan was quick to drop his umbrella, his lip caught between his teeth as he held back the tears he so desperately wanted to expose. he was preparing himself for whatever actions you were going to attempt as he passed through the group of boys staring achingly at you, they could feel the pain you were in just by how your arms drooped by your side whilst you dragged your body towards the coffin, forcing yourself to stand up before eventually dropping to your knees.
your coat had fallen from your shoulders, your hair smothering your face - you couldn't tell the difference between the tears or the rain, but the devastation in your bloodshot eyes was hard not to miss. there was no way you were well enough to make your way to the cemetery on foot, yet you were determined to be there; if not for yourself, then for him. it was your last chance to say goodbye, it was the last time you'd ever speak to him.
what went wrong? one minute he was there, beside you and waiting for you, the next he was gone. you felt so alone. the sudden realisation that you could no longer have his arms wrapped around you just tore you into pieces. his warm touch, how his fingers combed back your hair when he pulled you into his arms, how he kissed your forehead with such adoration. you realised that you'd never feel this way again...
it was unbearable for chan to watch you glance at his coffin so deeply, he could almost hear everything on your mind, he just wanted to hear you say how hard it is. he wanted to comfort you, and be there for you like what minho always promised.
you had no intention of looking away from the coffin, you dug your hands into the dirt soaked up in rain as his body descended. if only you'd gotten the letter sooner... if only you could see him and say goodbye properly.
it didn't feel right... why did you suddenly switch positions? that should be you. you hoped it would be you, you prayed he would be the one saying goodbye... because, at least, he'd have the chance to do that.
you wanted to tear at your hair, you wanted to be frustrated with yourself for not taking care of him like you should have... you promised each other. chan crouched down to your level, his arms reaching out to pull your head into his chest, he combed his hand through your hair as it dripped down your clothes, his chin resting lightly on your head as he held you. it felt just like minho and, for a second, you thought it was...
the shock of everything hadn't disappeared, you couldn't feel anything. you couldn't cry, you just stared. your eyes had welled up with tears, but you had to force them down your cheeks and, even then, they still refused to fall.
chan's silence was comforting, and so was the boys'. that didn't stop you from feeling so empty. you were desperate to speak out, but you couldn't tell him how you felt... you were so damaged, your feelings were too hard to put into words.
"he promised..."
to be continued...
