imagine: you were delivering your baby, but chan realised something was wrong.
he held your hand tightly, kissing your head softly as you were being strolled into the delivery room. you were panicking; this was your first child, and you were terrified of birthing your baby.
"you're going to be okay, don't panic," he smiled, brushing your hair out of your sweat covered face.
you were in immense pain. something was definitely wrong.
you tightened your grip on chan's hand, and even he felt the pain for a moment. he struggled to hold you back, but allowed you to use him as a coping method for now.
groups of nurses gathered around in the delivery room, hovering around you. surely, it wasn't meant to be like this?
"what's wrong?" you gulped, heaving sweat from your body, "is it the baby? chan, what's wrong?" you turned to face him, fear in your eyes.
he looked around at the nurses, unsure how to tell their reactions and expressions.
he shook his head with a smile, still holding your hand, "everything's going to be okay. don't worry."
"sir," a nurse approached chan, holding a hand out to separate your hand from his, "i need you to leave for now."
chan was speechless. he looked at you with concern, remaining silent. "i- she's going into labour! i can't leave her-"
"sir, please, we need you to cooperate with us."
he looked back at you, tears in his eyes. chan hated having to leave you at this time, but he had no other choice. he kissed your lips, holding your forehead against his. "i'll be back. i promise."
*
it felt like hours had passed. chan was still in the waiting room, holding his head in his hands. he'd called felix and jisung over, just so that he could distract himself from panicking.
"i'm sure she's doing well, chan," jisung rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. felix sat on the other side of chan, his head resting on his shoulder as he sighed. neither of them knew what to say, or even do. they just had to wait, just as chan had been waiting.
a nurse approached the three of them, noticing chan instantly. her face was expressionless, and so he couldn't tell whether he should be worried.
he stood to his feet quickly, his eyes wide, "is she okay? what happened? where is she?"
her head dropped just slightly, and she finally spoke. "if you'd like to follow me, i'll take you to her."
at the moment, chan had no reason to be happy. she hadn't revealed anything about how you were, or if the baby had been delivered, or what happened during the time you were in labour. he tightened his fists, preparing himself for the worst.
the door before him was pushed open, and revealed a doctor holding a bundle in his arms.
"is that-" he smiled, moving closer to the quiet bundle.
the doctor smiled weakly at him, holding his arms out, "it's a girl."
chan felt overjoyed. he'd almost dropped to his knees, but quickly reached out his arms to hold his baby girl. she slept quietly, snuggling close to him as he pulled her into his chest. his eyes filled with tears, watching his baby coo, her hands gripping at his finger tip.
this was what he'd waited for. this moment, here and now, was everything to him. he'd never been so happy in his life until now.
"where's y/n?" he smiled, rocking his baby gently in his arms.
the faces in the room fall, and the doctor seems to take off his surgical mask slowly. he lifts his head, his eyes full of sorrow.
"i'm so sorry," he gulped. even the doctor had begun to tear up, and the nurses around the room turned away, hiding their tears.
he scoffed briefly, his smile slowly disappearing, "w-what? where is she?"
once the nurses had stepped aside, you were finally revealed. at first, chan began to smile a little, not noticing anything different. the tears in his eyes hid the reality of what he was actually seeing.
he stepped forward, taking slow steps as he walked towards you. he noticed the sheets soaked in blood, your eyelids shut, your lips slightly parted, with no breath leaving your lips. chan held your baby in one arm, and reached his other hand out to touch your cheek.
you were ice cold. your life had been drained entirely. there was no sign of life; none.
"n-no," chan's lips quivered, and he shook his head. of course, he'd refuse to believe that this was real. he fell to the seat beside him, still rocking your baby in his arms. "n-no, no, no," he cried, dropping his head to press against yours. "no."
the nurses had quietly left the room after it seemed they began to cry themselves.
"come on," he brushed his thumb against your cheek, praying. "i need you. y/n, wake up."
no matter how much he'd pray, and hope for you to wake up... you never did.
