imagine: after practice, felix gets home to hopefully find you waiting for him but, instead he found a letter.
felix threw his gym bag across the floor, leaning against the wall to regain the breath he'd lost. "y/n." he called out for you, "baby, i'm back." he wiped at his sweaty forehead, entering the main room to find it empty. "y/n?"
"is she not here?" hyunjin wandered in, throwing himself onto the sofa without hesitation, his sweat covered clothes greasing the fabric.
"she said she'd come over at some point." jisung shrugged, lying beside hyunjin uncomfortably.
"maybe she's sleeping..." felix rubbed at his tired eyes, hoping that if you were sleeping he'd be able to join you in the comfort of your arms. "are you here?" he called out again, searching the rooms to find nothing...no one.
he entered his room, feeling as though he should at least rest for a while before calling to check up on you.
he rested his head against the pillow, slowly drifting into a deep sleep.
he expected to only sleep for a few minutes or so, but he found himself waking up two hours later.
"felix!" minho's voice was heard further down the hall, yelling out to the younger. "felix..." he entered his room, shifting into the doorway, "do you know where she is?"
"who?" he responded, his eyes lazy and his hair messy. for a moment, his mind went blank, but quickly realised who minho was talking about. "oh, y/n? i have no idea... how long's it been?"
"two hours?" he estimated, looking at the time on his phone, "yeah, almost two."
"i really slept for that long?" felix grunted, lifting himself up from his bed to feel a crinkling of paper beneath him.
"did you sit on something?" minho chuckled, watching felix lift himself up to remove the paper stuck under him.
"it's not mine." he shrugged, staring at the front.
it read;
felix.
just felix. but that was just the front of the page, he had another page yet to read.
"try calling her." felix nodded, still staring down at the paper in his hand. he didn't want minho to see what was written, at least not yet. he was unsure of what it was, so he wanted to see for himself.
"i've tried calli-"
"try again." felix finally looked up, nodding for minho to shut the door on his way out.
he unfolded the paper, struggling to read the scribbled symbols.
"i really hope you got this note...you usually throw things away, so i'm praying you don't get rid of this... i know i promised to come and see you today, lix, but i can't."
it was y/n. he knew it was, the handwriting was the same, too.
a smile grew on his face at the thought of you, your face fixed in his mind.
"i didn't want it to be done this way, but i'm going away for a while. i won't be back...ever. i just need you to know that i'll still see you everday, you just won't see me... please try to carry on, i didn't mean to hurt you like this. i swear. i just couldn't do it anymore. just know that...you were the only one stopping me from leaving. i knew i couldn't leave you just yet, and i struggled to leave you like this, especially after everything we've been through. i'm so proud of you, you know i am. don't be sad, i'm right beside you. just not in the way you want me to be. it might be hard at first, but promise me you'll try to be happy."
tears formed in his eyes as he started to skim through the letter, struggling to focus from his eyes filling up. he blinked, allowing the tears to drop onto the note, smudging the ink further down the page.
"if someone you know is struggling with something, tell them the same things you told me, that's what kept me going. it was only for you that i stayed. you can still speak to me, and tell me everything that's going on. tell me about your day, and how you were feeling, i'll be listening. i'll respond to you, even if you can't hear me. i'll never leave you unheard. you trust me, right? i couldn't keep going, this was the only way. i don't need to tell you how much i love you, because you already know it. more than anyone else knows it. you don't need me anymore, lixie. you can let me go now... i love you. so much."
he focused his thoughts on those last few sentences.
"i need you!" he clenched onto the paper tightly, "i do need you!" he cried.
the door slammed open to reveal changbin, his eyes staring at felix's worriedly. "y/n..." he started to run out of breath, grabbing the doorway to hold himself up. "felix, y/n-"
"there's no way." he sniffled, wiping his sleeve over his face. "it's someone fucking around-"
"no, felix!" he growled, struggling to hold back his tears, "she's really gone."
"h-how'd you know..." felix sobbed, refusing to leave his bed.
"we got a call from the station-"
"from the police??" his head lifted up, his fists gripping hold of the sheets.
changbin nodded, "they found a body."
"it's not hers." he shook his head, staring down at the ground, "it's not hers!" he screamed, his cheeks reddening as his tears continued to pour down his face, "it can't be..."
"lix-"
"get out." he mumbled.
"w-what?"
"get out!" he snapped, "get out, now!" felix darted for the door, watching changbin back away before slamming the door shut in his face.
he fell to his knees, punching his hand into the door aggressively. "i told you! i said i needed you!" he cried, "you know i did! why would you..." he paused, lifting his head to face the door, "why would you leave me?"
in her letter to him, she said she'd be with him, and hear everything he says, and that she'd respond. he was just saddened by the fact that he couldn't hear her.
she waited for him for so long... but now he was waiting for her.
