imagine: for some time now, you've felt distant from hyunjin.
y/n's pov
you waited silently on the bench beside the river, staring out into the water as the moonlight brightened your view. you hadn't been sat long, but you were hoping hyunjin would finally arrive soon. you wanted to get everything over and done with, you just wanted to leave.
"y/n..." you turned your head at the sound of a familiar voice; hyunjin.
your heart stopped at the sight of his smile, how were you supposed to leave when he looked so happy. you didn't realise how much you'd hurt him.
for some time now, your relationship with hyunjin had been very distant. you both had your separate things to do, and you saw him maybe once a week if you were lucky. things had faded between the two of you quicker than you thought. for a while, you hoped you could keep the relationship going, you made each other happy. but, that wasn't the case. you were too busy, he was too busy. you didn't have time for each other so staying in the relationship was pointless, you thought it was easier to stay friends for now.
"why did you call me out so late? i could've picked you up and brought you to the dorms. aren't you cold?" he questioned, rushing himself to speak to you.
you let out a quiet sigh, hoping it was loud enough for him to realise something was wrong. you didn't want it to come as a shock to him...
"let's break up." you finally moved your head to face him, scared to meet his eyes. but, you did. and you regretted it.
you felt your heart sink in your chest as his eyes grew teary, a single teardrop falling down his, now, hot cheek.
what hurt you the most was that you knew he was already anxious about the relationship in the first place... he was scared you'd leave him, or that you'd hurt him someway and he'd be left heartbroken. and, both of you, made a promise that you wouldn't leave each other, and that you'd always be together. that's what he desperately wanted, you knew he did. surely he could've seen this coming, though? what with his debut and concerts, and your job and being away from family, you didn't have time for one another.
"y/n-"
"you're shocked, right?" you interrupted him, looking away from his eyes as you wiped the tear from your face.
your vision began to blur as your tears filled your eyes, you couldn't hold it in anymore. you let them fall.
"d-did i do something? baby, please." he tried to grab your hand but you reluctantly pulled away. if you let him hold you one more time, you'd be dragged back in.
"you did nothing wrong. but..."
his eyes widened at the sound of 'but', he thought you were mad at him.
"i feel like we could've put in a little more effort."
"with the relationship?" he whimpered, holding his tears in. "i promise i'll try harder-"
"that's not what i'm asking, hyunjin." your brows knitted together, you didn't want to sound rude or harsh but you wanted him to understand that this is what needed to be done. "i don't want you to say that you'll try harder, or that you'll push things aside for this relationship to work. i just want you to say that it's okay for me to leave... i want you to admit that we're not meant to be."
as hard as it was for you to say that, you had to make him understand. he needed to know how you felt, you couldn't leave him thinking it was his fault.
"this isn't you... you would never say that-"
"well, i did."
you took a moment to gather your memories with him, you wanted to keep them safe. you wanted them hidden in the back of your mind, so he's not forgotten. because you would always love him, and that feeling would never disappear.
"it's not your fault, and it's not mine. okay?" you sniffled, "it's just timing... we should've thought about this."
you were able to get through three years, almost four, of a relationship with hyunjin. of course you didn't think that far ahead, you thought everything would be okay and that you'd somehow manage, but obviously you couldn't do it.
"p-please, y/n... don't leave." he cried, tugging at your hand once he finally got a hold of it.
"things aren't the same, you know they're not. maybe i don't feel as happy as i used to."
his eyes were blood shot when you finally had the courage to meet his eyes, he was visibly heartbroken.
"do i not make you happy anymore?"
you couldn't answer him.
"i felt different, i've changed. we both have. i know you feel that way too, you just won't admit it. be honest."
"it's been nearly four years, of course we've changed. but, i still have the same feelings for you today as i did three years and ten months ago... i've always loved you since the day we met."
it pained you to hear those words. knowing you were seconds away from walking away from him, you couldn't bare to hear him say he loves you. he couldn't confess now.
"y/n...i-i love you. you know i do." he sobbed, struggling to hold in his emotions.
right now, you wanted to drag him back to his dorms, so you could hold him tightly and tell him how sorry you were. you just knew you couldn't.
"maybe i fell out of love..."
