The world is still such a bright place

Chapter 5

It had been already late into the evening when Lan Xichen came to see Lan Qiren in his personal quarters. The elder was just preparing all his materials for the lectures and was in no mood to be disturbed at the moment. He wanted to ask his nephew to come to talk to him tomorrow unless the matter could not wait until then.

And it seemed like it could not Lan Qiren understood when Lan Xichen said with a grave face: "Uncle, I wish to talk to you about Wuxian." That was all he had to hear to put everything he was doing aside and to immediately invite the other to come sit at the table and say what he came for.

While doing so, he was feeling restless and worried: "What happened? If Xichen came to talk to me this late, it must be something extremely urgent, otherwise he would have waited and came to find me before breakfast. I hope Wuxian is fine, he had been doing better recently but it does not mean something could not have happened for him to regress or have an episode.

It is sad that he still cannot ease up and let go of his past despite our best efforts. However, it only shows just how bad it must have been. When he came to the Cloud Recess and I saw him for the first time, I thought it was just another one of my brother's whims. But I have understood soon enough why he had brought the boy in and was spending nearly all his time taking care of him.

It was pitiful to look at Wuxian at that point of time; he rejected everything and everyone. It took him a whole week to take one bite of the food we were bringing him! And he used to cower under the bed when he heard anyone approaching. His condition slowly became somewhat better overtime but he is still reluctant to leave the Jingshi until today. When he does, he only ever comes outside when he is accompanied by one of us. He is still too afraid to talk to anyone else.

Brother only told me what he could find out after a long investigation. There was not much to go about in the first place. It seemed like the boy was living on the streets for quite a while and had not been threated kindly by the world. We had to put him to drug induced sleep to be able to invite a doctor over and have him examined. Starved, badly beaten, covered in old scars and even raped... A sever-year-old child should never go through any of these, much less all at once.

Because of his condition, he could not join normal lectures so I taught him in private. Sometimes, he still had panic attacks when he was reminded about his past or had a nightmare but they were manageable. The problem however returned when he started learning cultivation. In addition to the previous mix, whenever an episode occurred, his Qi would be all over the place. Could it have happened again now? Is that why Xichen came to talk to me?"

"Uncle," started his nephew and Lan Qiren immediately calmed down. If Lan Xichen wanted to inform him about another episode, he would not have sounded this calm, he was even excited it seemed. "I have, like many times before, proposed to Wuxian to come join the guest lectures and this time around, he agreed to try. Wangji will bring him tomorrow. I only wanted to inform you beforehand."

Lan Qiren was both surprised and happy about the news: "So Wuxian is finally ready to come out of his shell? Those are great news! I will need to make sure everything goes smoothly; we cannot have him experience anything unpleasant on the very first day. Hopefully he would, with Wangji's help, understand that no one wants him harm here and he would be able to really start living as normal life as he can.

Should we perhaps inform all the disciples in advance about his condition? They need to know how to behave correctly around him. This way, hopefully Wuxian would be able to start trusting other people beside us, his family. It would do him much good." He wanted to suggest his idea about talking to other disciples to his nephew. He was however disappointed by Lan Xichen's next words:

"Uncle, I know you worry about him; I do too. I wanted to inform everyone about his condition so even the guest disciples would understand why he is receiving a somewhat special treatment in comparison to them. Otherwise, I am afraid they could want to pick on him and start asking why he has some privileges and is doing things differently. Wuxian was however pretty persistent we should not tell anyone.

I am not sure if he thinks he would be able to manage with Wangji by his side or if he is still afraid of what consequences his condition could have on the Gusu Lan sect's reputation if it became public. I fear that it is the latter unfortunately. I did not try to convince him too insistently as I was afraid he would reconsider his participation in the lectures. Let us see how it goes first."

Lan Qiren nodded and started stroking his beard pensively: "If what Xichen is saying is indeed true, I would have to speak with Wuxian again and try to get him to understand for the umpteenth time that he should really stop being ashamed of his condition. It is not his fault. He is the one inconvenienced, he has to live with it. It is in no means a problem if the whole cultivation world learns about it and starts spreading rumours. We would not mind in the slightest. Unfortunately, it seems like he still does not believe he is not causing us any trouble at all, he is too reserved..."

Lan Qiren had all but forgotten that his nephew was still in the room with him, waiting for his reply. Now he quickly gathered his thoughts and reassured the younger man as it was clear he had been distressed by what he had just told him and the implications brought to light by it.

"Xichen, thank you for coming to talk to me. I would make sure to look out for Wuxian tomorrow. I will also go to the Jingshi after the lectures will be over for the day and speak to him about our concerns. He had always been way too grateful to us and considerate about the Gusu Lan sect reputation. We cannot have him worry about every single time he decides to do something.

He is too timid every time he steps out of the Jingshi, that is so not like him. Even though I usually do not approve of troublemakers and unruly disciples, I am more than willing to make an exception in his case. He should not be afraid to behave like himself all the time; for now, he is only comfortable with showing his true nature only while Wangji or you are around and no one else is in sight."

Lan Xichen seemed reassured by Lan Qiren's words and his shoulders immediately became less tense. They chatted for a while longer about sect business and the upcoming lectures. Lan Xichen only excused himself when the curfew was upon them. They both would have a charged day tomorrow.