The world is still such a bright place

Chapter 49

Jin Zixuan had run out of Jiang Yanli's room, all excited that he now understood what was happening. He was eternally grateful to his fiancée for pointing out what he could not figure out for himself, his strange and unsettling feelings towards Wei Wuxian suddenly made so much sense.

"I had been such a fool! I should have realized on my own and not have my fiancée point it out for me. I am so ashamed of myself that it had to be precisely her who suggested to pursue my feelings... I have only realized when she had admitted to also like someone else. Have I been perhaps ignoring my feelings unconsciously because of my engagement with her? No; I know better than to pretend than in front of myself... It was simply because I had been too unsure of myself when I was feeling those things towards another man.

But it does not matter; love is blind as they say. And Jiang Yanli also pointed out that it will be better to know what exactly Wei Wuxian is thinking about my feelings than to brood over it to no end. If he rejects me and confirms that he does not want to ever see me again. Good, I would at least know for sure. If however he tells me he feels something towards me as well, I would probably be the happiest man alive."

He did not care if someone would see him running, he just wanted to see Wei Wuxian as soon as possible. Even a short week was already too long without seeing the other or talking to him. He had finally understood this strange longing he felt every time Lan Wangji told him to go back to his own quarters, he wanted to spend every second of his day with Wei Wuxian.

Gasping for breath, he was now standing in front of the Jingshi at last. It had been a small miracle that no one saw him running through the whole Cloud Recesses in his frantic haste. He now took a few deep breaths to calm himself and to appear less dishevelled and knocked on the door.

He was not surprised that it was Lan Wangji who opened and looked coldly at him. No surprise there, not after everything Jin Zixuan did to Wei Wuxian. And not after what he was about to do, although Lan Wangji had no idea about it just yet. And the Lanling Jin sect heir did not want to confess his intentions to him. He wanted to hear the words directly from Wei Wuxian's mouth; well, see his reaction anyway as the Gusu Lan sect disciple could not really talk to him.

Lan Wangji was looking at him inquiringly, one of his eyebrows raised. He did not say anything but it was more than clear he was asking what Jin Zixuan was doing here. The Lanling Jin sect heir finally caught his breath and straightened himself, he did not want to appear unsure of himself right now. He knew what he had to do and it was giving him at least the tiniest bit of self-confidence in the face of his crush's brother, the rest of it was drown in an ocean of insecurities and expectations which was raging inside of him.

"Lan Wangji, I wish to talk to Wei Wuxian." His words were short but he was sure the other would not mind. He was already preparing a handful of reason and excuses he could present once the Second Jade asked for them.

Lan Wangji stood still for a moment, watching him closely. Jin Zixuan would have given all the treasures of the Koi Tower to know what the expressionless Second Jade of Gusu Lan sect was thinking at the moment. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest uncomfortably and was sure the other could hear it as well. It did not matter however, Jin Zixuan just wanted to see Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji's posture eased up almost unnoticeably but he did not step away from the entrance. Was he not letting Jin Zixuan in after all? The Lanling Jin sect heir felt very nervous at the moment, hoping that the Second Jade would not deny him seeing his brother.

Fortunately, Lan Wangji's words reassured him: "Wei Ying is taking a walk in the back mountains. Take this road, you cannot miss him." He pointed towards a narrow forest road disappearing between the trees. Jin Zixuan only nodded his thanks and he was already on his way. He made sure not to run in order not to startle Wei Wuxian.

As Lan Wangji had said, he noticed the Gusu Lan sect disciple almost immediately, the white robes seemed to light up the surroundings, effectively attracting Jin Zixuan's eyes. The Lanling Jin sect heir stopped in his tracks. He had wanted to call Wei Wuxian's name to gain his attention but he found himself completely unable to say anything, thoroughly captivated, marvelling at the beauty of the Gusu Lan sect disciple with his hair freely flapping around in the breeze.

Even though he made sure not to forget how Wei Wuxian looked by recalling the mental image of him nearly every second of this past week, he was still breathless faced with the real deal.

Suddenly, Wei Wuxian turned around and smiled brightly, as if he recognized who was standing in front of him even without Jin Zixuan having to introduce himself. And what more, as if he was actually happy to see him. Quickly, but very carefully at the same time, the Gusu Lan sect closed the distance which separated them and was now standing right next to him; in fact, even closer than they had ever before been.

With anyone else, this kind of breach of his personal space would have made Jin Zixuan uncomfortable at best if the person standing in front of him was anyone else but Wei Wuxian. A heavy weight was lifted from the Lanling Jin sect heir's shoulders, it was clear that the other was happy to see him and was now welcoming him. If Jin Zixuan did not know any better, he would have even said that the Gusu Lan sect disciple had been waiting for him with how full of expectation and excitement his face was, the proverbial Gusu Lan sect self-restraint and emotional moderation were nowhere to be seen.

Jin Zixuan's heart almost jumped out of his chest with how frantically it was beating. He could still not be satisfied even after looking at Wei Wuxian for already what seemed to him like a long while. Then, at last, he realized that Wei Wuxian would not be the first one to talk and that his own silence was probably making the other feel insecure.

He took a deep breath and all but blurted out what he came to tell him; he should have probably already thought of multiple ways how to say it in a nicer and less abrupt way, but his words simply flew out of his mouth and he could not take them back anymore. Which was probably for the better in the end because upon finishing his sentence, he felt heat rise into his cheeks and he was grateful that the other could not see him blushing red as a ripe tomato.