The world is still such a bright place

Chapter 45

*** Flashback start ***

Wei Wuxian was sitting in a corner of an abandoned back alley, fairly far away from any main streets. For once, he was happy. He had managed to steal some tasty treats so his stomach was pleasantly filled and the weather was finally starting to get warmer so he was not trembling from the cold anymore. Although he could not see it himself, he knew that his clothes could by now hardly be called that, basically only filthy and smelly rags. Despite that, a child who was probably just passing by had taken pity on him today and decided to play with him for a moment today.

It had already been an eternity since he last enjoyed himself this much. He was still smiling for himself even after the child he had been playing with had already left who knew to where, he had left him a simple rattle drum which Wei Wuxian was now moving around happily. It was one of the very rare gifts he had gotten without having to work for it or repay the giver's kindness.

He was convinced that today would be one of the better day, if not even a great one.

He was deep in thoughts, slowly lulled into sleep by his full stomach and the sound of the toy in his hands. His head slumped and in a moment of sleepiness and the rattle drum fell from his hand as he had not been careful enough moving it around. Immediately, silence filled the alley. Wei Wuxian got on all four, frantically searching for the toy, he did not want to lose it so soon after getting it. He wanted to treasure it and the feelings which having received it inflamed in his chest. He hoped that it did not get damaged in the fall.

Suddenly, he stilled and scrambled backwards until his back hit a wall. He heard steps which were definitely coming towards him. It could have been someone completely harmless, such as a passer-by or the child returning to play with him again, but Wei Wuxian had a bad feeling. His chest was tight when the steps headed clearly in his direction. He had a bad premonition about who was coming to see him.

He tried to make himself as small as possible, hoping he was wrong. Unfortunately, true to his deepest fear, he finally recognized the person; it was the man he hated the most. He knew there was no use running away, it would only anger the other and then things would get worse for him. It was like that every time.

The man only ever came to find him when Wei Wuxian was alone. So he tried to either be close to people all the time or hide somewhere where he thought the man would not be able to find him. Oh how wrong he had been to think that this place, far away from any potential help, no matter how unlikely that was, was safe enough.

As many times before, he could feel the man lowering himself to his height and talking sweetly: "Hello there, little one. I finally found you. I see you are alone; come with me, I will keep you company. Let uncle buy you something good to eat and some new clothes as well."

Already knowing how things would go now, Wei Wuxian's whole body started to tremble. He however did not resist when the man took his hand into his own and started dragging him away. He went without complains, hoping that in this way, he would at least spare himself a few slaps and bruises.

Although he would have been overjoyed by the prospects of food and clothes if the offer came from anyone but this man, he was afraid of what was about to happen. It was always the same, the things he got from this person were never free.

He turned his head around. Despite not being able to, he wanted to look for the lost toy which laid somewhere in the alley, lost and forgotten by the whole world. He did not believe he would ever be able to find it again.

*** Flashback end ***

Wei Wuxian woke up from his nightmare in the middle of the night, or at least his inner clock was telling him it was way past midnight but far from the upcoming break of day. The world around him was completely silent, he was alone. He was disoriented, he did not know if he was still sleeping or if he was awake and safe. He tried to take a deep breath to calm himself but to no avail, his heart was beating too fast and he could barely breathe at all.

He could still feel the man's hand on his own, squeezing painfully. He pulled away and then reached his own hand to touch where he was feeling the unwelcomed warmth. He felt relief wash over him when he realized that there was no hand clutching him and not letting him escape. It was only an after effect of his nightmare.

Wei Wuxian's heart was now slowly returning back to normal, he could also breathe freely now. He touched his forehead and wiped away the cold sweat in which it had been covered. Only after that, he actually started to pay attention to his surroundings, trying to convince himself that there was no danger lurking nearby anymore.

"It is alright; I can hear Lan Zhan breathing in the room next door. I am not alone here. I am not in the Koi Tower anymore, that man cannot find me here. Everything is fine, I was just having a bad dream..."

By now, it was nothing new to him to get this type of nightmares, actually ever since he had told Jin Zixuan to not see him anymore. Unconsciously, it must have triggered something inside of him for he had not been this afraid of being left alone in a long while. He was scared that the Lanling Jin sect heir, despite Lan Qiren's reassurances, would not come back to see him anymore. It seemed like his fears had a direct impact on his dreams.

It had already been a whole week since Lan Qiren came to talk to him but there was still no sign of Jin Zixuan. Wei Wuxian did not want to influence the Lanling Jin sect heir's decision, he was convinced that should Jin Zixuan see him looking as miserable as he was right now, he would surely take pity on him and keep him company again. That was however not what Wei Wuxian wanted, he was determined to let the other choose for himself. And so he did not actively seek the other out. He hoped that perhaps tomorrow would finally be the day.

He wanted to ask his uncle or oldest brother for advice, he was not sure Lan Zhan would be able to help him in this situation, but he could not. The day Lan Qiren came to talk to him, both him and Lan Xichen were called away right afterwards on an urgent assignment. There were also no lectures this week, seeing that the teacher was absent, so Wei Wuxian could not meet Jin Zixuan there either. There was nothing he could do but wait.

Exhausted from the lack of sleep during this last week, it did not take him long to go back to his fitful sleep filled with nightmares caused by his anxiousness.