The world is still such a bright place

Chapter 59

Jiang Yanli was sitting in what Lan Xichen called his study, waiting for him to brew her tea. She had been so happy that her and Jin Zixuan's fathers agreed to break off the engagement without too much hesitation. So after she had exited the room where the three sect leaders were still discussing their future plans, she had been brave, encouraged by the fact that everything went this well.

"And I just went and asked Young Master Lan to come talk to me... When I saw how happy Jin Zixuan was with Young Master Wei returning his feelings, I could not wait anymore to also ask Young Master Lan what he thinks about me. But now that I am here with him, alone, I am not really sure I can do it. What if he says he does not see me as even a prospective love interest? What if I am too boring for him? After all, he barely knows me, we have only exchanged greetings a handful of times, not even talking about having a proper conversation...

Should I actually not say anything and instead try to spend some more time with him so we could learn about each other? I am pretty sure it would actually work better than with Jin Zixuan. We are closer in age and I have a feeling we also have more in common. I really wish to get to know him better, I am just afraid that if I outright confess to him, he would be taken aback and could start avoiding me. Although he is nice, so the rejection would probably be subtle, it would however not hurt any less."

She was still agonizing over the question if she should express her feelings for the other or not, when she realized her cup of tea was already served and Lan Xichen was waiting for her to start talking. He was smiling at her encouragingly and Jiang Yanli's heart skipped a few beats. He was just too handsome for her to unglue her eyes from him, she was now openly staring, only barely aware of that very fact.

Lan Xichen, the perfect embodiment of a gentleman he was, did not comment on it, nor did he let it show on his face if he was bothered by her behaviour. After several more seconds, when Jiang Yanli still could not find her voice, he prompted gently: "Maiden Jiang, what did you wish to talk to me about?"

Jiang Yanli was still captivated by the other but she was finally able to collect herself enough to starts speaking: "Young Master Lan, thank you very much for agreeing to talk to me this suddenly. I wish to breach with you a private matter, if you would not mind."

She knew she was going around in circles, only postponing the inevitable moment when she would actually have to confess. If she would find courage for that since her determination was disappearing quickly, much to her distress. She was not sure she should be this pushy when it came to such a serious matter as love. Perhaps Lan Xichen even already had someone he was thinking about and would really be bothered by her words.

It did not seem to be the case just yet, it seemed: "Of course. I will gladly listen to you. If I can be of any help, I will try my best."

Jiang Yanli's heart melted at the First Jade's consideration and kindness. It helped her gather her courage once again and she continued: "Thank you for your kind offer." She paused for a second, trying to figure out how to actually start. She was positive she would not be able to confess in the same straightforward way as Wei Wuxian had had.

"The recent events have me thinking about a lot of things. Seeing Jin Zixuan and Young Master Wei looking so happy while being next to each other, I was wondering what love really meant. And how it felt to be captivated by someone, to the point I would not want to be separated from them even for a single second, always watching their every step and being a support when needed."

She took a deep breath and asked the most important question which would determine whether she would actually proceed with her confession or not. She had finally decided that if Lan Xichen already had someone who was precious to him, she would not bother him anymore and try to forget him.

"Young Master Lan, were you ever in love with someone?"

Lan Xichen's expression changed in a matter of second from attentive listener to extreme surprise. Then he looked at her pensively, probably considering how he should react to her very personal question. Jiang Yanli decided it was a good thing he did not outright reject to answer and was instead thinking about it. She was however very nervous, counting each beat of her heart which seemed to be trying to get right out of her chest.

After what seemed like an eternity, she could not bear the tension anymore and quickly took her words back: "You do not have to answer; it was a silly question. I am sorry to have bothered you with it."

She was about to stand up and excuse herself, she could already feel warmth rising to her cheeks and she knew she was blushing. She silently berated herself for not preparing better for this conversation and that she had just blindly jumped right into it. All her previous determination was gone now and she just wanted to be back in her own room to be able to hide her shame. She had though it would be easy to open up her heart, but it was different when Lan Xichen was the one standing in front of her instead of Jin Zixuan.

She was however stopped by the First Jades calm and reassuring voice: "No, it is fine, really. I would be more than happy to answer."

Jiang Yanli could not believe her luck. Lan Xichen was such a kind and patient person, she found herself falling even deeper in love with him. Just how wonderful would it be should her feelings actually be returned?

She was not let to marvel anymore because Lan Xichen continued with a curious suggestion: "Yes, I actually have someone I like very much. However, I do not know if the person loves me back. To tell the truth; I am a bit embarrassed to just say her name. What if we said them at the same time? Perhaps that way, we would be able to help each other."

Jiang Yanli's cheeks became even redder but she nodded. It was a relief, even if the First Jade would also say the name of the person he was in love with and it would hurt to find out it was not her, she would feel less embarrassed this way. Lan Xichen would probably also not be too disappointed in her if she said she loved him, since he would be telling her who was his own loved one. They could become accomplices, given that the First Jade would allow her to stay by his side at least as a fried, or as an acquaintance even.

She decided on the spot that if she knew the person Lan Xichen was longing for, she would help him to achieve his goal and be together with them to the best of her abilities. She wished him happiness, even if it would not be by her side.

They both looked at each other, took a deep breath and said at the exactly the same time:

"Lan Xichen."

"Jiang Yanli."

Jiang Yanli saw how the other's eyes widened in surprise and she was sure he was seeing the same sweet shock on her face. There was a moment of silence and then they both started laughing in relief.