The world is still such a bright place

Chapter 43

Lan Xichen was sitting in his uncle's study looking at Lan Wangji whose expression was for once not unreadable. It was clear that his brother was deeply troubled. The Second Jade had called them here right after the guest lectures had been finished for the day, his message prompted them to utmost urgency.

Even Lan Qiren must have understood, be it because of the message or his nephew's expression, because he did not even let Lan Xichen finish pouring tea and he was already asking: "Wangji, what is wrong?"

The Second Jade turned his troubled eyes to each of them in turn before finally speaking up: "Wei Ying was crying yesterday."

A surprised silence filled the room. Lan Xichen was suddenly worried speechless: "What happened? Why would Wuxian cry? He had never done that before, not that I know of that is. Not even when he had hurt himself as a child, still getting used to his surroundings in the Cloud Recesses, not when he had gotten lost and thought he had been abandoned again, not when he had recalled any painful memories. He had always held his emotions inside, never showing them even to us, he does that until now. What could have changed this suddenly?"

Then his regard darted towards his other brother and he watched him with a kind of desperation and a silent plea to continue.

"Wangji had always had a hard time with words but he should really explain better for us to understand. I wonder... could Wuxian's sudden distress has something to do with the guest lectures? Or with meeting Jin Zixuan? There are no other things which changed in his life recently so one of them must have been the trigger. Otherwise, I cannot imagine Wuxian becoming this open with his emotions out of the blue, something must have pushed him over the edge it would seem..."

Lan Xichen still could not say anything. Although his mind was going a thousand miles a second, his body was completely frozen in shock. He would have never expected that he would be called to a family meeting for a reason such as this. Luckily, it seemed that Lan Qiren had already gotten over his surprise as he was now asking for more details, visibly worried and impatient to get to the bottom of things: "Wangji, speak clearly! What happened to Wuxian?"

Lan Wangji seemed like he was collecting his thoughts, probably trying to follow their uncle's advice and explain to them in more details. Lan Xichen was worried how it would go and if they would actually be able to understand his short explanation, but he was pleasantly surprised when his brother apparently gathered himself and presented to them perhaps the longest speech of his life:

"Wei Ying chased Jin Zixuan away. I do not know why exactly. He told me it made him recall his past, but I do not believe him. It seemed like there was something more to it. He refused to tell. Jin Zixuan said he will not go see him anymore."

After this, Lan Wangji stilled, looking at them with hopeful eyes, surely waiting for them to give him any sign that they had understood the situation. It was clear that he was at the end of his rope and did not know how to help Wei Wuxian.

"It is all clear to me now. There must have been some kind of misunderstanding between Wuxian and Young Master Jin. Wuxian probably overthought things again and came to the conclusion that it would be better for him to stop seeing Young Master Jin despite clearly wanting to. Although I do not know the reason for sure, I can pretty much guess it had something to do with him still thinking that he is a disgrace to the Gusu Lan sect and is always only inconveniencing others... Nothing is further from the truth, but he just refuses to believe us.

I am sure he had told Young Master Jin that his presence makes him recall his memories of the Koi Tower to let him believe they could not meet anymore. And Young Master Jin, despite his sometimes haughty behaviour and words, strikes me as really sensitive and caring deep inside; he only has problems with expressing himself right. Surely he believed he was causing Wuxian harm by being close to him and that is why he had decided to just stop seeing him altogether. That must have really hurt Wuxian deeply.

What a mess this is... I remember that something similar had happened with Nie Huisang as well in the beginning. Wuxian was trying to discourage him from coming to visit because he had said it could damage his reputation for being friends with someone like him... Luckily, Nie Huisang did not believe him for a second and stubbornly refused to see him less frequently, he even started coming around more often from then on. His persistence paid off and Wuxian understood that he would not leave.

Now however, with Young Master Jin doing the exact opposite, I am worried that Wuxian will misunderstand his motives and believe it was all his fault... We need to get these thoughts out of his head at last. He has always been too self-conscious and convinced that his very existence is a stain on the Gusu Lan sect's reputation..."

Lan Xichen finally found his words and hurried to reassure his brother: "Wangji, it will be alright. Surely both Wuxian and Young Master Jin had only had some kind of misunderstanding. As I know our brother, he is probably only trying to put all the blame on himself. I wonder if it was him or Young Master Jin who had initiated this. From your words, it seems like they both believe it would be better for the other to not interact anymore.

I am sure it will pass in a few days. Let us give them some time. Wuxian is not experienced with this kind of situation so he is probably at a loss about how he should now talk to Young Master Jin. The same goes for the other as well. I am certain they just have to find their way to each other again, they seemed to be getting along well."

Lan Xichen was watching Lan Wangji closely. He himself was worried about their brother but it would not do if the Second Jade's protective side would go out of hand and he would storm out to confront Jin Zixuan. When Lan Xichen had seen the Lanling Jin sect heir this morning, the young disciple seemed really out of it, and now he knew why, it must have bothered him as well.

Before he could suggest he would go see both boys and try to mediate between them, Lan Qiren had already took things into his own hands: "I see... I would be good to give them some time to think things through, but I am afraid that Wuxian would worry unnecessarily until then. I will go talk to him and try to convince him again that there is no problem with anyone knowing about him and learning about his condition. It seems to be the core of the problem."

Now Lan Qiren turned towards his two nephews: "Xichen, you go talk to Jin Zixuan and explain the situation. Hopefully he will then come to talk to Wuxian of his own will. Wangji, do not worry too much, this is all just a part of normal human relationships; even if we want to protect Wuxian to the best of our abilities, we cannot let him not experience anything at all. He needs to start living a normal life, and this is one of the stepping stones to it. If it becomes too much, please be there for him."

With that, it seemed like the meeting was at its end. They finished their tea in silence, each thinking about what they could do to help Wei Wuxian in the less invasive way. Lan Xichen was already planning how he should explain things to Jin Zixuan for the Lanling Jin sect heir to decide to go see Wei Wuxian on his own and restart their relationship once again.

Unfortunately, it was very much unlikely that Wei Wuxian would initiate the reconciliation himself at this point. This knowledge saddened the First Jade greatly, he however had high hopes that his brother was slowly but surely coming out of his shell and would be able to open up to the world even more in the near future.