The world is still such a bright place

Chapter 31

Jin Zixuan was looking at the piece of paper which Wei Wuxian pushed towards him, feeling utterly confused. What exactly was the Gusu Lan sect disciple trying to do? If he was indeed blind, it was not possible for him to learn how to write, right? And anyway, what was on the paper were not in any way legible characters, it had closer to a child's scribbles.

Jin Zixuan looked up from the paper, observing Wei Wuxian closely. Shivers were running up and down his spine from Lan Wangji's cold and accusing stare once again. But he would not let himself be intimidated by the Second Jade anymore, he wanted to get to the bottom of this all and finally understand what was going on with Wei Wuxian.

Suddenly, Lan Wangji signed towards the paper and his eyes were clearly ordering Jin Zixuan to look at it. The Lanling Jin sect heir could no longer bear the other's stare and so he focused on the paper again. On a second look, he thought he could actually recognize a few characters, the first ones, although severely distorted and shaky, as if it was handwriting of a disciple who just started to learn how to write.

He went completely speechless upon realizing at last that the scribbles were indeed a message; a message for him from the mute and blind Wei Wuxian:

Jin Zixuan, what you said is true. Do not be too hard on yourself.

Jin Zixuan read the letter Wei Wuxian had written for a tenth time already and he felt regret flooding his chest, tears started traitorously gathering in his eyes and he had to blink a few times to chase them away. Despite Lan Wangji and Nie Huisang glaring at him with murder in their eyes, he was happy.

"It is actually nothing short of amazing that he had learned how to write despite his condition, and what is even more surprising is that he is willing to talk to me. Well, in a sense... Wei Wuxian had apparently already forgiven me my harsh and rash words and the tone I said them in. It must have indeed sounded bad for the other two to glare at me this fiercely... I did not consider how they would sound before letting them out of my mouth, I should have really though it through before opening my mouth and be more cautious. Both Lan Xichen and Nie Huisang had warned me to be careful around Wei Wuxian and the first thing I do is to be rude to him...

I should really slap myself. What is more, instead of being angry or offended, Wei Wuxian is worried about me and trying to console me. Why else would ha have written to not be hard on myself? He must have assumed that I would regret my words; which is true! If Lan Wangji and Nie Huisang were not here, I would have apologized already. But they will probably not leave me alone with Wei Wuxian after what had just happened... Do I need say it in front of them? I do not know if I can..."

Jin Zixuan felt moved and honoured that Wei Wuxian was letting him come closer to him, if only on the level considering his feeling, he was somewhat ashamed that he did not give the same back. He really should have been more careful and think things through. He would try harder in the future. At this point, he was certain that Wei Wuxian wanted the same thing as him, to find his way to him and to get to know him better.

He cleared his throat for the upcoming apology and shook his head slightly to clear his mind, and tried to ignore Lan Wangji's watchful eyes which were still drilling holes into him. It was clear that the Second Jade was warning him against saying anything hurtful or rude to his brother again. He did not need to be reminded, he knew that very well himself.

He cleared his throat again and finally spoke: "Ehm..." That was not right, he had prepared everything in his mind but now he was still not able to put it into words, too ashamed of himself. He could see that Wei Wuxian was eagerly waiting for him to speak, tilting his head in his direction with an expression of worry and anticipation.

This was all Jin Zixuan needed as encouragement, he found his words at last: "I should not have said it like that..." The last 'sorry' was stuck in his throat and would just not get out in the presence of Lan Wangji and Nie Huisang but Jin Zixuan hoped that his voice had been sincere enough for Wei Wuxian to understand his apology. After a short pause, he also expressed his gratitude which sounded even more awkward than the apology: "And... thank you, Wei Wuxian, I appreciate your concern."

He could feel the Second Jade's eyes throwing daggers at him again, he knew fully well that his words were maladroit and too short to express everything he wanted to convey, he did not need for it to be spelled out for him.

He however cheered up in the next second when a bright smile bloomed on Wei Wuxian's lips and the Gusu Lan sect disciple nodded in his direction. It was clear that he had accepted both the apology and the thanks. A heavy weight was just lifted from Jin Zixuan's shoulders, he still had a chance to mend their relationship, where there was a will, there was a way; and both him and Wei Wuxian were willing to try and meet each other half-way. Or at least it was what the Lanling Jin sect heir decided to do.

The awkward moment had passed. Although Lan Wangji did not look all that happy – then again, who could say what he was thinking with his expressionless face! – he went back to the refreshments he had brought and prepared them, effectively showing the others that they should continue with their conversation.

Nie Huisang took the clue and cheerfully asked: "Where were we? Ah, I know. So then, Brother Jiang..."

Jin Zixuan stopped listening immediately. He went back to gazing at the Gusu Lan sect disciple, being extremely happy to see that the previous relaxed atmosphere returned. Wei Wuxian was once again silently partaking in the conversation, perhaps even more actively than before. His movements and gestures looked somewhat familiar to Jin Zixuan, although he could not remember where he had seen them and of what exactly they reminded him of.