Komahina Angstpril

"I Can't"

   Possible TW: Knife violence, graphic self harm, threatening, implied suicide attempt

   "Hey, Ko, I'm going to need you to listen to me," Hinata says nervously, holding out his hands in defense, "J-Just put the knife down, alright? Would you be able to do that for me?"

   Komaeda takes a shaky deep breath, tightening his grip on the handle of the knife, spinning it so that the bloodied pointed end was now facing Hinata. The blood from the multiple cuts (deeper than they usually were due to weapon and emotion) is streaming down his arms at an alarming rate. It this keeps up, he's going to pass out from the blood loss. 

   "No, Hajime," He whispers, desperate for the tears to stop falling, "Don't you see? I can't."

   "Why not?" The brunet asks gently, taking a step closer and slowly reaching for the knife in Komaeda's hands.

   "Stay back." The ex-Ultimate warns. 

   Hinata holds his hands up in a surrender. "Alright. Alright, let's remain calm, okay? Ah, but I'm really worried about your arms, I think you're going to need stitches. Why don't we just pop that knife in the dishwasher and just head over to the hospital?"

   ". . .No." Komaeda forces out through gritted teeth. 

   "Alright. . .Can you tell me why?"

   ". . .I intended to bleed out."

   "To death?"

   "Yeah."

   Hinata sighs. "Now that simply won't do. I don't want to lose you. Please put the knife down. Here, if you don't want to go to the hospital, I think I can treat your arms myself. Kamukura's talents and all. So, let's just stop and calm ourselves, okay?" He murmurs, moving closer with each sentence, distracting Komaeda with his words.

   Once he's right in front of him, he gently pries the knife from his hands and puts it all off to the side. "There. You're doing good, my love. Come into the bathroom with me, so I can get you cleaned up."

   ". . .Thank you for not yelling." The lucky boy mutters, allowing Hinata to take him but the hand and carefully pull him into the bathroom.

   "Trust me, that's the last thing you'd need right now."

   He then proceeds to kneel in front of a sitting-on-the-tub Nagito, starting to stop the bleeding and clean the wounds.

   "Want to talk about it?"

   "I really probably should. . .but, I-. . ."

   "Do you want to talk to Kamukura? They're close to the front and they're worried about you."

   "I can't. . .I think. . .I think I'd be way too embarrassed to talk to them right now. Can we. . .Can we just. . .talk about something else, please?" Komaeda requests, feeling quite strained. 

   "I suppose. For now," The brunet allows, concentrating on his work, "Umm. . .How's that novel you're reading? And Then There Were None? What do you thinking of it?"

   Komaeda's eyes light up. "Oh, it's a great book. I'm ninety-nine percent sure of the killer. They thought they could hide it from me, but really, who else could it be?"

   Hinata snorts softly. "Well, don't tell me who, I want to read the book after you."

   "Please, you're going to read about the first murder and automatically know the killer."

   "Hey, it's not our fault we're so smart! Well, it's not their fault at least, ehe. . ."

   "Yes. . .Anyways, it really is a great book. . ."

-

   "So, are you ready to talk about it?"

   Komaeda sighs, fiddling with his bandages. "Yes," He exhales, "Um, I got caught up in my thoughts again. You know, my early life, life as a Remnant, all the shit I pulled in the program. . .My existence is a problem in itself. I deserve to suffer, Hajime. I deserve to die."

   "Come on, Nagito, you know that's not true."

   "I know I'm supposed to know that but it's. . ."

   "Hard," Hinata finishes for him, "I understand. Healing takes time. But death isn't the answer. I already thought I lost you once, I don't ever want to go through that again, darling. You have me and Kamukura, and we're always here for you, 24/7. In the meantime, lets learn some healthier coping mechanisms, huh? That's honestly long overdue."

   ". . .Okay," Komaeda murmurs, "I'm sorry."

   "Don't be. We're fixing it, alright? It's all going to be okay. Okay?"

   ". . .Alright. I trust you, Hajime. Thank you."

   "No problem. Anything for you."