Good Enough

F o r t y

"Sometimes it's like I finally understand I'll never be good enough for him."

"How do you feel, when this thought crosses your mind?"

"Relieved," 

"Just stay down, Lee," Zayn's voice tuts at him, the boy whimpers feeling a sudden coldness on the back of his head, "You hit your head, your Papa's on the way,"

Liam groans at the head-splitting headache, tears form in his eyes as he tries to shake his head in protest, his eyes remain closed yet a harsh white glow reminds him that he's close to the light indoors.

One of his hands is grabbed in a supportive way, it's squeezed reassuringly, "Everything's going to be fine. You just hit your head,"

"There was an accident!" Tristan announces bursting into Connor's bedroom at the time. The older brother had been teaching Liam how to play a video game after weeks of begging.

Connor furrows his eyebrows pausing the game, "Was it, dad?"

"Papa!" Tristan runs from the room after telling the boys to get ready that they'd be leaving soon. Connor groans sliding into a coat taking Liam's hand pulling him to his bedroom helping him find some warm clothes for the frigid temperatures outside.

"W-will Papa be okay?" Liam asks softly, his chocolate eyes peer into Connor's the teen rolls his eyes placing a beanie on Liam's head, "Does it look like I know?"

The two hurry downstairs seeing Tristan at the bottom speaking to Bradley who's just entered the house, Harry making his presence known for a brief second with his assistant glancing at this child dressed to brace the outside, "Where do you all think you're going?"

"T-to the hospital?" Tristan replies raising an eyebrow, he steps back taking Liam's hand in his own, "We want to see Papa as soon as he gets in-"

Harry scoffs, "You think the best place for Liam is in a hospital? Where he could catch anything? There's nothing you can do, no matter the outcome." The man plucks the beanie from Liam's head, "Your father will be fine, go play upstairs." The youngest gasps at the man's words taking Connor's hand in his own, "You're such a dick!" Connor insults, Harry turns slapping his face gesturing to the living room, "Go watch the news and find out who the real dick is. You can thank him!"

After Harry left, Liam enters the room making himself comfortable on Bradley's lap as the eldest brother turns on the news, silence encapturing the room as Connor's breath hitches seeing the News Update on the crash, 

"Actor Louis Tomlinson in a crash, there is another unnamed victim, the condition is unknown at this time of the mystery person, but Doctors say Mr.Tomlinson is expected to make a full recovery. We keep his family and himself in our thoughts at this time."

The room was an uncomfortable cold, there was an odd noise that sounded as if it attempted to bring comfort but the foreign placement made it hauntingly eerily instead.

Groaning, Liam brings a hand to his head, he can see orange brightening behind his eyelids meaning the room was bright. The noise stops, a gasp filling its placement, "Lee?" 

It's a faint cry out for the boy that has Liam's breath hitching, he knew the voice came from his Papa, it was the other voice in the room that startled him. Peeling his eyes open he squints at the harsh light seeing earthy-toned ones peering into his with tears spilling onto his cheeks. He glances to the other side seeing Harry with a concerned frown.

Letting his head return to staring at the ceiling, tears prick his own eyes hearing Louis speak, "I knew you being here would upset him!"

"Really? Not the fact that his Papa is a known homewrecker?!" 

Liam thinks back to a year ago letting their bickering voices drift into the room, the ceiling brings silence to his thoughts.

More than anything, Liam wanted dinner with his parents. A moment when their attention wasn't on their phones, but on him. He wanted a birthday party. He wanted a hug.

Sobs rack his body at the thought of how fucked his life had become in one year. At how much damage he'd put his mental health through.

He thinks back to Connor. In the last conversation, the two had ended in a fight. He never even responded to Zayn.

Liam remembers telling his therapist how much better his life would be if he just accepted the fact that he wouldn't be good enough for his parents.

He feels the parent's hands secure his arms, nurses enter the room at Liam's rising heartbeat, but Liam can't tear his stare away from the ceiling. It's comforting to him, offering a distraction from the busy world he no longer wanted to be a part of. 

Rose.

Liam had fired Rose.

The only stable relationship in his life he burned. It reminded him of something Louis would do. If Life truly was a sick joke, Liam begs that it find someone else to be the butt of all its cruel jokes.

"I need everyone out of the room! Everyone out!"

Liam flinches violently, he wants to wake up now, he grunts thrashing around in an attempt to tear his mind out of its trance.

He's stuck in a limbo of in and out of a now-drug-induced rest, Liam feeling himself floating higher towards the ceiling he'd stared so longingly at.

Relaxing, Liam feels himself smile, "I-I'm home,"

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All the love, ~Emma :)