Chapter 28

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Very Importent message

I'll be making some changes before finishing, and rewriting th entire ff (if the Lord allows it) its a huge mistake on my side for writing an ff so young unexperienced and unprepared, but I learn through my my mistakes, either way, now I'll be having dates for better follow ups, starting from here, but when I rewrite the entire book will have dates. (keep in mind the fact that COVID-19 does not exist in my book)

And it's birthday today, thanking the Lord for living yet

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August 18, 2020

In the equvalent of two hours Jungkook had already been around the entire neighbourhood, which corresponded to his way back and forth. Not to mention the inclusion of an hour break, and an two whole hours of non stop boxing, and intense work out. He had no intention of becoming a bodybuilder or anything, yet working out had become such an addiction, and it released a great deal endorphins in which he hadn't been able to release through anything else. His work outs would last 2-3 hours, rarely did he take an extra hour, but after what happened today, he felt that it was more than necessary.

Being out of breath had become his favourite feeling, the sweat and the panting gave such satisfaction to his mentality. Compared to the feeling of being pathetic, weak, and dumb, working out was a way for him to restore, recover and regain the lost self-esteem. This act made him determined of his strength and intelligence, which was all he needed... Or so he thought.

The heavy sand bag was unable to stay still as it swinged back and forth with every powerful punch Jungkook threw at it. He was currently situated in Martins fitness garage, or more of a taekwondo practice room, for his personal training. Jungkook would often come here, almost every day, boxing and working out for the most part. This had become his favourite place in the house, where he could let loose all of his worries, and insecurities, specially after  a terrible nightmare, just coming down here for strength and determination had become his remady to everything.

As he threw the last punches, he gracefully let his body, weigh on the big sand bag hanging to the ceiling. His body and clothes drenched in sweat, he couldn't help but let out heavy panting of fatigue enticed with satisfaction.

Crouching, he layed to on the ground for better rest. He'd been gone since 5am early in the morning, and now the clock read 10.06am, in other words a delicious four hour long cardio, exercising and boxing, in addition to the one hour break right after the long run.

As he layed on the floor, mind clear and focused, he slowly let this morning's episode play in his head. He felt like cringing, hard. Not only did he mistake reality with a nightmare, but he let himself out without a proper argument with his best friend, moreover how was he going to confront him now. That is the first time he had seen Jungkook without a mask on. The perfect fabricated version of himself.

He needed a shower, he needed to wash away all the worry before it ate at him again.

Jungkook hates being a burden, and even though he promised to find a place soon, it was obvious just how crucial his mentality was. With a case of PTSD, and depression moreover his worsening nightmares, it was all clear proof of the fact that he refused to face his problems, and instead chose to hide them, ignorent that they were slowly starting to eat him alive.

To forget everything, and keep himself distracted, he exercised a deal too great, by running and boxing, as a way to release euphoric, pleasure celles in return.

Rising to his feet. With a sore body, he watlzed out of the garage, and up the stairs leading towards the main entrance to the house. Desperately hoping them to be absent, or entering unnoticed, his face paled as he witnessed the couple arguing about something... Or someone.

Standing at the door, he couldn't get himself to enter. Throughout their bickering, the mentioning of his name was heard, multiple times, concluding that they were probably talking about him.

Not wishing to be of a nuisance, he prepared himself to leave. " Jungkook...?" only to halt at the mention of his name again. " Jungkook? Is that you?" Jimin spoke again, her voice tender, filled with relief.

" Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

" You didn't." Martin stated instantly, almost interrupting him. " We were actually talking about you."

Martin's gaze fixated on Jungkook as made his way towards in heavy steps. You could tell he was upset, and by the looks of it, this argument won't be over anytime soon.

" Jungkook-" he spoke with a stern voice. " you've been living here for more than six months, you can't keep living here for no reason, either you tell me what the heck you're running from, or..." Martin couldn't get himself to end that sentence. His eyes were glaring at his best friend, who had just returned from his work out session. Not letting the stench of his sweat be a bother, his eyes glared at him, with a mix of anger and pure worry.

" It's been over six months since you were given permission to leave that hospital, and since then, you've been living here with us, yet I feel the gap between us is caused by the secret that prevents you from leaving, in which you won't tell us"

Jungkook's low breathing echoed within the quiet house. He noticed as Martin was about to speak again, but didn't let him. " Let's not do this right now Martin, please..."

" No Jungkook didn't you hear what I said... Arhg, you can't stay here forever man, specially when you don't even let us know why. We know about your freaking nightmares, for how long did you think you could hide them from us. Ever since the first night, and you keep acting as if all is OK when in reality it's all just an act, your fake smiles aren't leaving unnoticed. " Martin didn't want to throw Jungkook out, he was his best friend, and even though they had fun, and had gotten closer throughout these passing months, this nonsense couldn't keep going.

At the mention of his nightmares Jungkook felt himself dumbfounded, weak moreover pitied... " I- listen, I'm really sorry for this, I'm trying my best to find work and an apartment but-" he stuttered, every word laced in shame, as it painted his face red in embarrassment.

" Jungkook you're not a burden, that's not what I meant. What I'm trying to say is, therapy obviously didn't work, and your work out might be a short term relief and satisfaction, but it isn't the remedy to your nightmares. "

" We just want to help you Jungkook. " Jimin added." we've been living under the same roof with you for almost a year now, and yet, we know nothing of what you're going through. You're obviously suffering, it's easy to tell you're suffocating. It's not because you're the burden, it's because you're carrying one on your own and it's affecting you negatively."

" Just let us help you man. " Martin begged.

With a sigh he faced them, it was evident that they were only trying to help.

" I- I just need to figure something out first, I promise to tell you, but I'm sorry, I just can't right now. "

" Then when can y-"

" We'll be waiting for you when you're ready." She said purposely interrupting her inpatient husband. "I'm happy we got to talk this out with you today."

Excusing himself, he quickly made his way to the bathroom. With a racing heart, he couldn't help the rushing emotions, shame, embarrassment, pity, weak, exposed. How could he let his mask fall so easily, how had he been so vulnerable, that even Martin had noticed.

His mind was red, filled with rage, he was angered at himself, at his weakness, moreover how vulnerable he allowed himself to be.

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  Hey there, hope you enjoyed the late update, have a great on and...

I'm thanking the Lord to be able to live yet another year, remember to be grateful for all that you have and for all that is given to you

God bless you❤️❤️❤️❤️

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