Love. Break. Fix. Repeat.

He

He is like the last log that keeps me from sinking

I want to hold on to him forever

But I realized that in doing so I'll drag him into the waters

He is the one that keeps me from the edge

He doesn't even know the depth

But still tries to hold me from giving in

But I can't constantly drag him with me

Cuz he has a life to life, a right to happiness

He doesn't have to be there for me

I wish I didn't need him so much, but I do

I want to keep him to me forever

But I'm scared that he might not want to sail with me

He is just courteous, and I'm exploiting him way too much

I just wish to give in to the dark creatures that lay beneath us now

He doesn't deserve the mess that I am,

He shouldn't have to face the life-threatening waves with me

I'm stupid for this, but I don't want to scratch him

If at the end of this all my life destined for its end in the deep blues.

does this even make sense at all? to be honest, I really don't know.

rough emotions somehow always make their way out through words huh? words have healing power, atleast for me. I hope no one reading this is going through anything, but if you are, i just hope that reading something helps you. Also, just know that you're not alone and people are there with you.

when you're facing something, all you want is for someone to be there for you. But you realize that they don't have to be there for you, they shouldn't have to cuz they have a right to happiness, and even if you aren't getting your portion of it, you want them to get all of it cuz you care for them. I have no idea if what I'm rambling right now, makes any sense or not. thanks for reading. I'm handing over a piece of my heart to whoever is reading, an insight into my messy, cruelly self-critical  mind, if you don't like it, please don't come for me. okay, I'll shut up now.

love,

A