DEAR BIG DADDY (COMPLETED - EPISTOLARY)

Letter 50 - Final Note

Dear Mr. Santillan,

First of all, I'd like to tell you that there are two versions to this letter. Itong liham na ito ay para talaga sa iyo at sa iyo lamang. Ang isa na sinulat ko na ikaw rin ang addressee ay para sa isang iniisip kong pagkakataon na baka sakaling kwestyunin ang pagkatao ng bunso ko.

Kung napasakamay mo na ang sulat na ito, ibig sabihin lang ay wala na ako sa mundong ito. Nais kong malaman mo na sa kabila ng lahat naging masaya ang pamamaalam ko nang dahil sa pagkakataong binigay sa akin ng Panginoon. I was finally able to hug and kiss the greatest love of my life for the last time before it was too late. Hindi mo lang alam kung gaano ka importante iyon sa akin---sa pagtanggap ng lahat ng pangyayari sa buhay ko.

You might be wondering why, all of a sudden, I became too formal here. It feels awkward now to still refer to you as my big daddy or to even call you Dad in this letter. Nakita ko nga ang horrific look ng mga paramedics nang nagsisisigaw ako habang tinatawag kitang 'Dad'. Tanging si Dr. Reyes lang ang naniwala sa akin. Sino ba naman kasi ang makukumbinsi na dati'y naging nobya mo ako? From an outsider's point of view, iyong insidenteng iyon sa bungad ng entrance ng PGH noong isang araw ay parang sa isang baliw na lola at sa isang matinee idol. Haha! You haven't changed that much, Greg. You had a few lines on your forehead but that was it. Life treated you well, I guess. Makinis pa rin ang mukha mo kasi. Gwapong-gwapo ka pa rin. I cannot say the same about myself. Unfortunately.

Please don't ever think I am being sarcastic in this letter for addressing you Greg or Mr. Santillan. I just want to let you know this comes from my utmost respect for what you have become. You are no longer my happy-go-lucky college sweetheart, but the best businessman the Philippines could ever have.

After the PGH incident, I realized things are not the same anymore. I cannot hold on to what was in the past. Sure, you still love your baby girl. Pero tingin ko rin, ang baby girl na nasa isipan mo nang nagdedeliryo ka sa ospital na iyon was the Isadora you met in college. Hindi na ako iyon ngayon. Although inside of me, I am still the same hopelessly romantic woman who never wanted to settle for less; thus, the waiting...

I wrote this letter not because I want to tell you more how much I have loved you, just like in my previous notes. My main purpose here is to ask you a favor. Sana ay matulungan mo ako, Greg---Mr. Santillan. Please?

Ang una kong ipapakiusap ay ang aking bunso. Gaya sa isang version ng sulat na ito, my little Rona, has suffered a lot because of our love story. Her father did not accept her wholeheartedly as his daughter because he was thinking she was yours. If it is not too much to ask, sana ay kung magkita man kayo someday, sana maipadama mo sa kanya ang hindi naipadama ng tunay niyang ama. Please be a father to my little girl. I beg of you.

Last but not least, please find our son. He goes by the name Engineer Ricardo Muñoz Sandoval now. We actually had a good relationship. Paminsan-minsan ay kumakain pa kami sa labas, but he just knew me as that street vendor who was so fond of him. Umaapaw ang puso ko sa ligaya sa tuwing naiisip kong he has the heart for the poor people.

Since the day I met Rick or Baby Tanglaw in my heart, I was always Aling Ising to him. When I attempted to tell him na ako ang totoo niyang ina, inisip niyang nagpapatawa lang ako. Nang inulit ko naman noong sumunod na pagkakataon, he even laughed at me this time. Ang alam kasi niya ang totoo niyang mga magulang ay malayong kamag-anak daw ng adoptive parents niya. Somehow daw ay naipakilala na siya sa mga ito. Hindi naman big deal sa kanya kung saan siya galing. Sabi pa nga niya, naiintindihan niya kung bakit siya 'pinamigay'. He never resented whoever his parents were. He was just thankful he was given to his 'real' mom and dad. He couldn't ask for more. They have given him the best life any child could wish for.

Nasaktan ako noon, Greg, but then, what can I expect? Kaya hindi na ako namilit pa. Siguro mahirap siyang makumbinsi dahil iba na ang hitsura ko ngayon. Pero kung ikaw ang magsasabi nito, sigurado akong mapapaniwalaan ka niya. Hindi naman kasi magbibiro ng ganito ang isang Gregorio Ronaldhino Linares Santillan, right? Kilala ka sa industriya na kinabibilangan mo. You have also given everyone the impression that you are a no-nonsense kind of person and businessman. Kaya bakit iisipin ng isang Engineer Rick Sandoval na nagbibiro lamang ang isang Mr. Greg Santillan?

Habang sinusulat ko ito, nakaramdam din ako ng lungkot. Isipin mo, ang haba lagi ng usapan natin sa Sunken Garden noon tungkol sa kung paano pangangalanan ang ating mga anak. Then, this happened. Ang kaisa-isa nating supling ay hindi dala ang apelyido mo. Tapos ni hindi niya taglay ang pangalang matagal nating pinag-isipang ibigay sa ating panganay. Ironic, right?

When I gave birth to Rona, somehow I felt this would happen. Na hindi na tayo magkakaroon pa ng panibagong supling kung kaya kahit hindi mo siya anak, sinunod ko na sa pangalan mo ang tunay niyang pangalan. I hope okay lang sa iyo.

Ang dami ko pa sanang gustong sabihin sa iyo, pero nanginginig na ang kamay ko. I guess it is time to say goodbye. Babaunin ko ang maganda nating memories together. That was one in a million kind of experience. Salamat at naipadama mo iyon sa akin noon. Wala na akong pinagsisihan pa.

Pasensya pala kung medyo may kaunting anghang ang isang version nitong sulat na ito. Sinulat ko iyon noong pagkaauwi na pagkauwi ko galing ng PGH. May kaunting selos kasi akong naramdaman noon nang makita ko ang asawa mo at mga anak na pumaligid sa iyo na tila masasaya lahat. Marahil iyon ang nag-udyok kung bakit ganoon ang tono ng pananalita ko. Rest assured, I have already come to terms with what had happened in my life. I will be signing off in this world with joy in my heart because I have proven that the man I gave my entire life to truly loves me with the same intensity as I do love him.

Goodbye, Greg. Mr. Santillan. My big daddy. Till we meet again.

Sincerely yours,

Isadora Maria Ramirez

WAKAS