Forked Roads Back

79 - TESSA

"SO HOW WAS THE zoo?" Mark asks, and I'm thankful he's choosing not to grill me. Not yet anyway.

"Really good." From his expression, I know he must have seen Ellie's new toys, so there was no point lying. "We may or may not have bought the entire gift shop."

"It's hard to say no to that face isn't it," he chuckles and I nod. "Has she been good otherwise?"

"Yeah, good as gold. She fell asleep for a bit in the car on the way home, but I have a feeling she'll be out like a light still. She didn't stop all day."

As I say it, a pair of footsteps thunder down the stairs and Ellie rockets into Mum's lap.

"Careful, Els," Mark warns her. "Mummy's had a long day."

I walk over to the sofa and sit next to Mum. Ellie climbs off Mum and into my arms, resting her head against my chest, snuggling Jane close to her. Mum asks her about our day, and she goes off, speaking at about a million miles a minute, the redness in her cheeks showing her excitement as well as the brightness in her eyes.

Mum and I listen avidly, hanging on her every word, asking her questions about all the animals we've seen, but soon, her words get more slurred before she falls asleep.

"You really did tire her out," Mum croons, stroking Ellie's fringe out of her face. "She'll be out for the afternoon."

"I feel like I could nap too. It's only five and I am so ready for bed." I laugh as I yawn widely, making Mum yawn. "Did you guys have a good day?"

"Yeah, we did." Mark comes and sits next to Mum, putting his arm around her. "We actually went and got a scan of the baby actually, ready to show Ellie tomorrow, so she can see." She leans forward gingerly, grabbing her bag off the table. "I know you've already bought a new shirt, but I was hoping you wouldn't mind wearing this one once we tell her?"

She hands me a brown paper bag, and I frown as I open it, but smile as I pull out what's inside. It says 'Soon to be big sister' on it, and I absolutely love it.

"Of course I'll wear it! And I promise to be around more now that I'm back properly. Babysitting, more weekend visits, sleepovers and dinners at ours, day trips. You name it, I'm there."

Mum makes a face. "Tess, as much as I love having you around more, I know you have your own life now. You're twenty-two, and you're about to enter the world of work. You have Jamie." She strokes my cheek. "You're an adult."

I smile at the proud look all over Mum's face and it brings tears to my eyes.

I've missed my mum so much. I feel like, even though I've been back for a while, I have barely seen her, and then when I do see her, the time I spend with her is never enough. I used to spend hours talking to Mum on the phone when she called, or sitting drinking tea or Prosecco when we came up to see her before university. Now we have such different things going on.

Me, I'm rushing around trying to plan a wedding, whilst also interviewing here, there and everywhere for teaching positions starting next year. It doesn't sound like much, but if you added what Mum's up to into the equation, it meant we didn't really have time together like this.The point was that I miss my mum. Even though she's right here, I miss her.

Mum's always working, planning shoots or gallery shows, and now that she's preparing for the new baby, something told me I would soon have even less time.

"So, tell us," Mum starts, patting my knee. "How's Jamie? And the new apartment?" She leans forward and hides her face from Mark as she adds, "How is living with a boy?"

I laugh. "You know, it's actually not that bad."

She smiles and sits back.

"He's fine though. I miss him."