Forked Roads Back

73 - TESSA

"I'M SORRY IT TOOK so long for me to find you."

Jamie looks at me. It's the first thing either of us has said in a while.

He shakes his head quickly. "No, it's okay. I had been planning to head off, but I just... froze." He wipes his eyes and looks at me. "I just sat here thinking. I couldn't move... even if I wanted to, I couldn't." He sighs and tucks my hair behind my ear. "And I'm sorry too." He kisses me lightly, his lips barely touching mine. "I really am. I know you have to see him, and as much as I'm not okay with it... I know you have to."

Even if it is a small victory, that I've got him to understand that this is something I have to do, I can't help but feel deflated that he's breaking down over it.

"I'm going to lose you," he says quietly, and if there was any air left in me before this, there isn't now.

"You're not going to lose me. I'm yours." I kiss him. "I'm all yours."

I don't know what made me say it, but he frowns as if he remembers, but isn't sure how I remember it.

"You trust me right?" I ask, even though he's told me he trusts me before. It's more for him than for me that I'm asking.

"I do trust you. But him... How do I know he's not going to smile at you and then you go all weak at the knees?"

I scoff and push further away from him, trying to give myself space despite being on top of him. "Because you trust me," I tell him simply.

"Does he even know about us?" He asks before I can say anything more.

"He does. Millie told him. He would never do something like that."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I do. He's chivalrous." I put my hands back on his cheeks and smile. "Besides, I would never let that happen because I love you."

I sigh again, worried he's gone off into his own world again to escape.

"Jamie, everyone thinks I need to do this."

"Tessa, please don't tell me you're doing this for them... Tell me you're doing it for yourself. If you're doing this for them, then you're not going."

I shouldn't have said it like that, backing him into a corner. "I didn't mean it like that. Jamie, this is me talking, not them."

"I know I've agreed, but did you even think about me when you decided this?" He takes his hands off my hips, giving me the smart idea to move off his lap. His head follows me but his eyes soften, despite the hardness in his voice. "Are you going over there to tell him to stick it?" I flinch. "Or are you going over there to tell him that this..." he gestures between us, "was bullshit from the beginning."

"What?!" I thought we were getting somewhere, but apparently not. "Jamie, what kind of a question is that?" I pinch the bridge of my nose. "I'm not doing either of those things. I thought you were okay with this?"

"No, I didn't," he retorts. "I said I know you have to."

I turn to face the front, frustrated that he's being deliberately obtuse and not listening to me. But then I have an idea...

"Can I show you something?"

He frowns. "Show me what?"

"Just let me show you. Please?"

I get out of the car before he can answer and walk around to open his door. "Please?" I ask again, holding out my hand.

It takes him a minute, but I'm relieved when he puts his hand in mine, allowing me to pull him out of the car.