Forked Roads Back

83 - ARCHIE

I COULDN'T SLEEP A wink knowing I would see Tessa tomorrow. Four years. Four years and it all comes down to today.

I lay awake, running through every inch of what I remembered what she looked like the last time I saw her. What I saw as she said goodbye, when she went off to university, thinking I was going to wait for her.

Her big green eyes were bright, excited about her new surroundings that awaited her in Edinburgh. Her smile was huge, despite the sorrow that had afflicted her the month before. Her hair was long, down around her shoulders and wavy after wearing it in plaits the night before. I remember the fear in her eyes. That fear when she looked back at me... praying this wasn't going to be the last time she saw me.

I shake my head. I needed to get those particular thoughts out of my head.

The last few weeks since my birthday I'd been having  more dreams, except these had been good dreams. It was my mind going through all those memories I thought I had locked away.

That first night, I dreamt about seeing the house. The next night, I dreamt about the first day I met her, with her toothless smile and her blonde hair in plaited pigtails. The night after, that I dreamt of the night she broke me out of the hospital. Every night I dreamt of something different. A good memory, a happy memory, one where Tessa was smiling, her smile was easy and there wasn't any worry behind her eyes that something bad was going to happen. She was just unburdened and free. It was a time that felt like decades ago, not four years.

For some reason, I felt free, but I knew that feeling wouldn't last long once I saw her. All those feelings would come flooding back, and I'd be back to square one.

"Arch, you better get going or you'll be late!" Millie calls from outside my door, piercing my thoughts.

She obviously doesn't realise I'm sat up in my clothes already. When it got to four AM and I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep so I just gave up and got dressed... and I've been sat here ever since.

I am now three hours from seeing her again. Three hours. One-hundred and eighty minutes. I am one-hundred and eighty minutes away from seeing the person I've been missing more than I've ever missed anyone. I'll get a glimpse of the person who shares half of my soul, and even though I can no longer call her mine, just seeing her will be enough to heal the hole in my chest.

At least I hope it will.

"Archie!" She yells again.

I groan as I push up from bed, grabbing my phone and car keys from the table before opening my door.

"Oh you're up and dressed?"

I scoff a laugh. "Millie, I haven't bloody slept."

She laughs and looks at Greg, who chortles along with her. "Touchy."

"Arch, it's just Tessa," Greg tells me as Millie straightens the collar on my shirt.

It's okay for Millie to say that. She speaks to Tessa almost every day. Millie hasn't had to go through four years without her. Four years of torture. Tessa will also never be 'just Tessa' to me. Even if she is no longer my Tessa, to me she will always be so much more than 'just Tessa'.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that." My tne is flat as I head over to the kitchen to pour myself some coffee. "You guys are getting lunch ready right?"

She rolls her eyes. "For the hundredth time, yes. You're now being annoying."

I glare at her. "Millie, stop being a dick about this!" I raise my voice slightly and her eyes go cold.