Forked Roads Back

20 - TESSA

WHEN WE GET BACK to Jamie's, I am exhausted.

I flop on the sofa and sigh, closing my eyes as I lean my head back on the pillow. Traffic all the way back had been awful, so our twenty minute journey had nearly taken an hour. I was getting more and more frustrated because I just wanted to get back, have a shower and get this conversation off my chest. The world clearly had other ideas.

Jamie chuckles and I open my eyes just as he flops similarly into the armchair opposite me.

"You want a shower or anything?" he asks.

I shake my head. "Maybe in a bit." I just wanted to sit here for a minute.

"Tea?" he asks, and that I do nod for.

He chuckles and disappears into the kitchen down the hall, and when he reappears, he's changed into a pair of tracksuit trousers and a baggy Slipknot t-shirt. I'd never seen him wear it before - or heard him listening to them before - so I make a mental note to add them to my playlist.

"I am so glad you're okay," he says after he's handed me my tea and sat down next to me.

I lean into him and sigh contentedly as his arm goes around me. I lean up and look at him. His gaze is burning into me, and he seems to studying every inch of my face, every feature. He then tucks my fringe back behind my ear and drops a soft but long kiss on my lips, both of us sighing at the connection.

When he pulls away he smiles. It's my favourite lopsided smile, the one that won me over all those weeks ago.

"What was that for?" I ask. The kiss had left me breathless.

He simply shrugs before kissing my head again, not answering my question.

It's quiet between us for a few moments, the only sound was the odd slurp from either of us as we drank our tea, along with the ticking clock on the mantelpiece. He keeps looking at me longingly, and once my tea is finished, I sit up and turn, facing him cross-legged.

"You know I said I wanted to talk to you?" I ask.

He nods, turning the same as I had, putting his mug down on the window sill.

"Yeah?" He seems nervous as he watches me.

His big blue eyes are sad, knowing what I have to tell him might hurt. I hate that he feels that way, but I also hope what I'm about to say doesn't scare him off. Because when you tell a current boyfriend about an ex-boyfriend who you were ready to marry 18 months ago, and who owns a part of your soul... well, let's just say I wouldn't blame him for running away. And with me going home tomorrow, and us having even more distance... Oh God, I really have to stop overthinking and just tell him.

Taking his hand to keep me calm, we sit, patiently waiting for me to gather up the courage to delve into a place I had shut away quite well until today.

"You know I said that my brother..." I take a breath to clear the lump in my throat. "That Matt had died?"

He nods, remembering the speech I'd made on the night we had officially met.

"He died in a car accident. He was taking his friend to the airport and they got into an accident."

The photos we got from the investigation suddenly flash into my mind. Matt's car was completely destroyed, even without the fact firemen had to saw the doors off to get them both out. The airbags were blown, blood covering both of them, and I just remember the two of them had been lucky to survive the crash... let alone anything else.

"His friend. His friend..." I start my sentence but I have no idea how to finish it.

"Tess, you don't have to tell me this. I don't want you to relive this."