Forked Roads Back

101 - TESSA

THE ANSWER HITS ME like a ton of bricks, and as the breath comes back to me, I know I've made a terrible mistake.

I've made a mistake because I now have the entire evening to endure without him.

I want to call him, to tell him to come now and to be here with me, but I've left my phone at Charlotte's house. I know exactly where it is, it's in my bag on the bed, right where I left it, and I bet you he's calling and calling, wanting to apologise when it should be me who apologises.

He must be tearing his hair out right about now, and I can't believe I've been so stupid.

Jamie was right, and I've been so blind. I'd been chasing this dream, this figment of a dream, and just when I heard what I thought my heart wanted, it's now telling me what's true.

It's him.

"Sweetie?" My head snaps up as Mum's voice pierces my spiralling thoughts. "You okay?"

I shake myself out of it, wiping a shaky hand over my forehead as I take a deep breath and recover my wits. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed a moment."

I can tell by her expression that she doesn't believe me, but I don't know what else to do. She saw me come over here with Archie, saw how both he and I had reacted, so maybe through her mother's intuition, she knows what's happened?

"Sweetie, they're calling us all into dinner."

Looking properly, the crowd was now moving into the main hall, so I nod. "I'll be there in a minute."

I really did need a minute; I was freaking out.

"Okay sweetie." She walks away but then turns back around. "I, erm..." she starts, looking through her bag for something. "I hope you don't mind, but I grabbed this before we left."

I frown, wondering what she's talking about, but then she hands me my phone.

I gasp as she places it in my hand. Too shocked to say anything more, she gives me a knowing smile before she takes my hand, pulling me towards the dining hall where everyone has started to find their places. Trying not to meet Archie's gaze as I head to the top table, I take a seat between Dylan and Millie, smiling, pushing both Jamie and Archie out of my mind for the moment.

***

ONLY THE LOVE CHARLOTTE and Danny share for each other can distract me from my thoughts. Watching them, they're in their own little world, and it's one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

However, it's only making me want to break my resolve just that little bit more.

I manage to hold out until they're serving the desserts, which gives me at least forty-five minutes of calm, but when I excuse myself to the bathroom, my heart sinks.

I have nearly thirty missed calls, with the number of texts now all coming through as he sends through a long string of apologies. I can see he really does feel horrible about how it all went down yesterday, and me taking that decision away from him has clearly been a massive blow, because he has been looking forward to it so much. It's been a long time coming.

Danny is his friend too, they've become buddies due to the amount of time I've been spending with Charlotte, and he wants to celebrate with him. I feel awful for taking that away from him, and even if he can't blame me for why he did it, he certainly won't be very happy with me.

As I come out of the bathroom, I turn the corner, and as soon as I step out into the main room, my eyes lock with Archie's.

After what he said to me earlier, I've been avoiding him, to try and keep my own thoughts clear. But now, I have to think about what he said, and I have to give him my answer. It's only fair to him.