Forked Roads Back

84 - TESSA

We will shortly be arriving into JFK airport. If you could fasten seatbelts, replace all tray tables, we are preparing for landing. Local temperature is around 10 degrees Celsius, blue skies with showers due a bit later on.

I COULD BARELY HEAR the voice over the sound of my own heartbeat in my ears.

I am about twenty minutes from landing in New York. I am half an hour away from leaving the plane... and maybe an hour away from seeing the one person I have missed more than I'd ever thought possible. I'm an hour away from seeing Archie.

I haven't been able to say a word to Charlotte or Danny since the plane left. This whole time I've been sitting, either staring forward at the seat in front of me or out the window, feeling this hole in my chest get smaller and smaller as we get closer and closer to New York. Closer and closer to Archie. I feel like I haven't even blinked since the taxi picked us up, and my brain is running a million different things through it, mostly wondering what the hell I was going to say... what the hell he's going to say.

There were so many possibilities for both, but the one thing I wanted to hear from him, despite seeing it on messages, is that he's sorry for the way he left. Not because he left, but the way he left. I just needed to hear it, just once.

I want him to say sorry because he gave up. What I've felt like I've blamed him for all these years is him giving up on us and our dream. I wanted to ask him what I did that made him believe that leaving was his only way out. I just wanted an explanation, and for months, years even, I'd been telling myself that this was all I wanted, all I needed... and now I was only an hour away from getting it.

But then part of me is worried.

What if it's the wrong thing to do? For both of us. For me it could be wrong because I'm engaged, happily so, and I could be tempting myself with the soulmate I was probably kidding myself by saying I was over. And for Archie, it was maybe the re-opening of those old wounds, potentially reminding him of the reasons he had left in the first place.

I'm starting to think I should have just stayed at home and allowed Charlotte and Danny to enjoy their holiday without me bringing all my dramas into it. I didn't want there to be, but if Archie and I were going to talk stuff out, they may be some...

"You ready?" I hear Charlotte's soft voice piercing through the fog.

I look up and suddenly realise it's just us on the plane. I'd missed the hubbub of people trying to leave as soon as the seatbelt signs were off. I missed it all becasue I was now officially freaking out.

"No!" I admit truthfully and she smiles. "Char, why the hell did I do this?"

She puts an arm across my shoulders and squeezes me tightly. "Because you need the answers. Come on, it;ll be fine. Besides, hon, you know I love you, but you are literally holding up an entire plane-full of people..."

I shrug. "Can it not just go with me on it?" I only half mean it as I lean forward to get my bag from beneath the seat in front.

"No. Now come on. The faster we're off the plane, the faster you can get your reunion over with and can relax."

"Char, I am freaking out."

"I know you are, but Tess, it'll be fine. You've made it this far, right?"

I look out of the window towards the terminal and sigh. She's right. I didn't fly three-thousand miles just to fall down at the last hurdle.

"Let's do it," I say with conviction, pulling my bag over my shoulder. "Let's do this!"

As we leave the aisle, Danny goes first but Charlotte goes behind me, probably so I didn't just stand still and hold up the plane even more. Putting one foot in front of the other, taking each step as it comes, I officially make it onto the New York tarmac.

It's warmer than I expected, given it's October, but now that I'm outside, I feel stronger than I did a few minutes ago. Rather than Charlotte pulling me, I'm now pulling her, and I'm ready to sprint into arrivals by the time we reach the terminal itself.

"Has someone texted to say we've landed?" Danny asks, but I'm not sure if he's asking me or Charlotte.

I look at him, panic probably covering my features, but he just pulls me into him, leaving his arm there while Charlotte messages Archie.

"Done. He's here, and he's wondering if we want coffeee?"

Here's here? Oh my god. I visibly shudder with anticipation and Danny chuckles.

"Maybe a decaf for Tess." I elbow him as we move forward, following the signs for baggage reclaim.

Charlotte puts an arm around my shoulder again, touching her head to mine.

"It'll be fine. We'll be right here the whole time, okay."

I nod but she must think it's not sure enough because she repeats herself, making me nod harder, wiping the tear away that had escaped.

"Right then. New York, here we come eh?"

I nod, suddenly feeling a warm strength roll through me as we step through the crowd of people into the large baggage terminal to pick up our bags.

It is the biggest baggage hall I've ever seen. It's a long, clinical white lobby, with ten baggage belts lined up along the whole room. The board in the middle is displaying a number of flights but we all wait for a few minutes before ours is announced to be belt six. Heading over, the belt starts to move and within a few minutes the first suitcases start to arrive.

"Bets on who's is first?" Danny asks.

"Tessa's," Charlotte answers immediately. "Hers always is."

"What, you mean the two times we've been on trips together?" I scoff but then my cheeks redden as I spot my bag coming out. It's easy to distinguish as it's a blue and green bag with contour lines on it, an Eastpak special edition.

"See!" Charlotte squeaks as Danny goes to grab it, pulling it onto our cart. "What did I tell you!"

"Everyone knows the cool bags go on first," I try, laughing at Charlotte's smug expression.

"You saying our matching red and black suitcases aren't cool?" Danny says, and I nod.

"Definitely," I laugh but nod towards the carousel. "But it seems someone thinks one of your bags is cool."

He turns around and grabs it just in time and puts it next to mine.

"Now we're just waiting on Char's."

We wait for another few minutes before hers turns up, only Danny doesn't turn in time so we miss it, making it go round again. Second time lucky, I manage to lean forward and grab it as someone moves in front of Danny, heaving it off the belt with a groan.

"Blimey, Char, what have you got in here? Rocks?"

"Ha ha, very funny. Bricks actually," she corrects me, laughing.

"Is that everyone?"

"Think so," Danny responds dutifully as my stomach drops again, knowing that Archie was on the other side of those double doors.

"You good?" Charlotte asks as both hers and Danny's arms go around me.

I smile as best I can as I nod, taking Charlotte's hand. "I'm good. Let's get this over with, shall we?" I say with as much conviction as I can.