Forked Roads Back

61 - TESSA

IT'S CRAZY HOW QUICKLY you settle back into routines.

We've been back for three weeks, only just catching Millie before she went on her open-ended trip to America, and it's been an incredible three weeks. No work, no distractions and no commitments, just us, and it's made me even more excited for what's to come.

Dad is ecstatic to have me back home, for good now, and the things I had been worrying about before hadn't been as bad as I thought. I have my moments, moments where I end up sobbing in Matt's room, but mostly I'm my happy, bouncy self, ready to take on the world.

Seeing Millie for a few days was great too, and although she's now gone for, I spent three days flat with her.

While Jamie was off doing his induction at Barclays, I talked to her about Archie, everything. I talked to her about the dreams, about everything I saw that day. I also talked to her about my plan to see him, either here or in New York, to get everything off my chest. She was silent about it for a while, but in the end said it was a great idea and that she was fully behind me doing it. That was a relief, because if she had said it wasn't a good idea, I don't think I ever would have done it.

She asked me what I would say, but I just told her the honest answer, and that was that I didn't know what I was going to say to him yet. She suggested I just let him talk, as he probably has more apologising to do than me, but I didn't want him to think it was me going to there for an apology. I didn't want an apology, not for what he thinks I do anyway. I just wanted to know was why he thought it was so bad that he felt like he had to leave... that he had to leave us. Why he left when we could have got through it much easier together.

A few days later, I took her to the airport.

Greg and Millie both had bags the size of themselves, and it felt weird saying goodbye to them, not knowing when they would be back. But then I thought about it, and Millie hadn't seen Archie in person for over a year, so I stopped my moping and waved them both off as they went through security.

The next week, Jamie took me away on a surprise trip to the Cotswolds, before he started his new job the following week. Putting that out of our minds, we embraced the beauty and green, walking every day and just being with each other. He had done an amazing job of helping me forget my reality, but right now, the reality of him starting his real-world job was standing right in front of me... tying his tie crooked in the light coming from the tiny bathroom.

After several induction days, today is Jamie's first full day as a Financial Associate at Barclays, and I can tell he's excited about it. I'm excited for him too, even if he is now leaving me all day to do real work.

"I know you're awake by the way," he tells me. His eyes meet mine in the mirror and I grin before sitting up.

He turns off the bathroom light as I turn on the side light, blinking as I'm momentarily blinded.

"Just watching the show," I tell him as he comes towards me, sitting on the edge of the bed.

He smirks at me before turning his attention back to his tie now that he could see a little better.

"I'll miss having you around all day," I say sadly, because it's the truth. "I knew the day was coming but it came around so-"

"So quickly," he finishes for me. "I know. It's going to be weird for me too." He brushes my fringe behind my ear. "But you're seeing Charlotte today right?"

"I am, yeah."

One of the best things, other than being home, is being able to see Charlotte more. She has transferred out of Oxford now that's she's finished one degree and is doing her next stint at UCL, which she finds much better as she gets to see Danny, her parents and me a lot more. She has a few more weeks off before she starts, so we have many a thing planned before she has to go back to studying and working twenty-four-seven.