Forked Roads Back

24 - TESSA

AS SOON AS MY eyes open on Christmas morning, I know I've made a terrible mistake.

The holidays are supposed to be filled with us all staying up until three in the morning watching cheesy Christmas films. The holidays are supposed to be pretending to be asleep as we listen to Mum and Dad sneak downstairs, trying and failing to be quiet. The holidays are about family.

Except none of my family are here.

I know that Jamie and Sophie and the rest of the McGregor clan are trying their hardest to be substitutes, and I am so grateful to them for trying, but they can't give me the one thing I really want. No one can.

Because all I want is my brother.

Christmas is the one day a year where Matt became a human before seven in the morning. He used to get us all up at six or even five in the morning to open presents and then watch cartoons and films all day, but none of us minded. He actually put effort into getting people the perfect presents and his favourite part of Christmas was watching everybody else. It was the one day a year where he reverted back to the kid he loves to be. A kid with no worries and just a love of Christmas.

But today he isn't here. Nothing about this house makes me feel close to him at all, and as a tear falls down my cheek, my heart just wants to be six-hundred and fifty-four miles away, back home with my family.

I sniff, trying to wipe my tears away but when I feel Jamie pull me closer and kiss the back of my neck, I can't keep them in anymore.

I turn around and curl myself into a ball as I tuck my head into his chest, letting the sobs take me over as I realise the gravity of my mistake.

"Aw Tess," Jamie coos, pulling me into his arms so that my head is now resting on his chest as I continue to cry.

Neither of us say anything for ages whilst I just let it all out, and only when the tears have dried up, do either of us speak.

"I am such an idiot," I tell him, screwing my eyes shut as the tears threaten to well over again.

I hear him chuckle deep in his chest before his lips touch the top of my head.

"You are not an idiot."

"Jamie, I am an idiot. My brother died, and I used my mum as an excuse not to be in that house anymore and now I feel..."

He tips my chin up before gently kissing my lips. When he's done with my lips, he gently pecks my nose before kissing my lips again.

"I would have been okay with a vegetarian Christmas."

He sighs as his blue eyes look into mine.

"Who cares if my mum can't eat turkey at the moment. It's not as if it's forever."

I know what he's doing. He's letting me get it out of my system, but I don't think it will be for a while. I think it would be better for all of his family if they just leave me up here all day to wallow in my own bad mood so everyone else can at least enjoy the day.

"You should just leave me up here."

He sighs and kisses my head before sitting me up with him, moving me in between his legs as he leans against the headboard.

"Tess, that is ridiculous, I'm not doing that."

"Why not? I'm not going to be any fun."

"What about my mum's Christmas dinner?"

Silence... But when he speaks again, I know I can't stay up here because it's rude, and that isn't me. Even if I feel crap, I still wouldn't do that to his parents.