Forked Roads Back

22 - TESSA

AS WE SNUGGLE DOWNSTAIRS with a movie, each lying facing each other with our legs intertwined, I sigh.

"You okay?" Jamie asks. "You've been quiet since the film started..." That was strange in itself, because I always have opinions throughout the film. Like Matt did, Jamie always has to pause and rewind back past the bit I'd talked over.

"Yeah. I just..." I sit up again and sit cross legged. "I don't really want to go back for Christmas this year." I'd been thinking it since Dad told me about going to Mum's, but now I'm seriously thinking about skipping Christmas as a reality.

Jamie nods. "You said you always do the same thing. I get it. Change is crap."

I widen my eyes. "Really crap. And worse they didn't even ask."

I pick up a pillow and shove my face into it, letting a frustrated shout out before I throw the pillow petulantly to the floor.

"You could just come to ours?" he suggests.

My eyes move to his quickly. I'd been thinking it vaguely, but I never thought it would become a reality.

But then I thought maybe I shouldn't. I'd just been complaining that Christmas would be really different just being at Mum's... imagine what it would be like at someone else's house completely.

I shake my head. "I can't do that. I couldn't impose on your family."

"You wouldn't be imposing," he takes my hand and smiles. "They would love it."

I know he's probably only saying that to help me feel better, but part of me is really tempted. After what's happened the last few days, and with what will happen over the holidays - me being alone with my thoughts - it's the worst thing that could possibly happen right now.

"Think about it," he says, leaning forward to kiss my forehead just as my phone buzzes. "I'm going to get started on dinner. You want to help?"

I smile. "I'll leave the cooking to you, chef. What we having?" I ask, glad of the slight distraction.

"Risotto Jumble?"

I frown. "Which is?"

"Risotto with anything I can find in the fridge," he says with a laugh.

I raise my eyebrows and nod before he kisses my forehead again. As I watch him leave the room, I sigh. I really had lucked out with him, and the more I thought about everything that had happened, the more I didn't want to repeat it.

Maybe some separation for a few weeks would do us good? I think our lack of separation was where Archie and I failed... because there just wasn't any. He lived with us, and even before we started dating, he was always around, and my mind would never switch off around him.

But then even when we were apart - when he went on holidays with his family or when he went on sports trips - my mind just missed him even more. Either way you looked at it, whatever option I choose, I'm in trouble.

I sigh as I cover my face with the cushion, trying to decide what I should do, when my phone buzzes again.

I drop the cushion to the side and pull my phone from my pocket to see a couple of messages from Millie, no doubt in response to my weird texts last night.

Archie is okay. He's hurt his hand, and he drank a lot, but he's okay...

Relief shoots through me and I inadvertently look at my own hand as it starts to throb, as if there's a connection.

I told him about you and Jamie yesterday. I know I probably shouldn't have, but I wanted him to find out from me, rather than from anywhere else...