She has never been so angry in her life as she rummage through her side of the closet. She pulls shirts and pants out of her respective wardrobe and throw them out the window in outside bedroom. The clothes float down like feathers in the wind, landing on the lawn. Not even when she missed the winning shot to win the women’s soccer. Not even when her parents called her a failure. But when she found out that Jennie kim, her crush of three years, was having an affair with a jiyong, not only that but fucking eachother and announced her in the fucking phone.
As a behavioral madness she should have seen it coming; the harsh tone of jennie, sneaking around, then the aloofness. Lisa should have suspected jennie was hiding something. And to make matters worse, lisa was expecting her first love with her will be hopefully successful. Lisa rip off shoes from shelves and chuck those too, along with fame, cups, and glasses. Angry tears stream at her face as she move around the rest of the room, taking whatever is in way and throwing it into plastic bins.
"Fucking I hate you Jennie Kim.I hate you.I fucking hate you more than anything in the world.
Can't you just told me that you were fucking with gd oppa huh?
You fucking promised me that you'll never hurt me.
Look at me!!?
I am hurt again.I fucking know it's fucking pathetic to cry for you but I can't stop my heart can I ?"
The anger subsides the minute lisa undress and soak in the tub. The warm water feels wonderful against her body. She remembers all the memories she have of the two of them; meeting at a New Years Eve party, going out on many fun dates before coming to this situation.
Lisa remembers when jennie purposely tried to spend time together. Lisa jumped into her arms even though jennie was covered with mud. Lisa didn’t care though, the love of her life just asked for her time to hangout. Their happy memories were small and simple but it felt magical. All that thrown away and for what? A piece of man with dick? The tears start coming again, this time uncontrollable sobbing.
"Even if I grow dick you'll prefer that so called mens right?
I will never be enough for you."
After lisa soak, she changed in some sweats and went to sit on the couch. Lisa heard the door open but it didn’t phase her , she were physically and emotionally tired to care.
“Hey lis,” jackson says as he closes the door and crosses over to the couch, he kisses her on the top of the head before he walks upstairs to the room. Lisa watches him walk away and can’t help but feel guilty when she broke his heart. think about his reaction to the predicament in rain gives her chills that maybe he will leave her too. Not even a minute passes when he comes pummeling down the stairs. His face is contorted in such an anger lisa’ve never seen before. He keeps his distance before he asks,
“lisa… What the fuck happened to this place?” His chest heaves. Lisa look up from her tea slowly.
“nothing?” lisa ask innocently. She tilt her head, a sadness paints her face. “Something wrong?”
“Don’t fucking play stupid with me. All your room is mess lis. You were the only one here all day.what happens?”
“I have no clue, honestly.” Youshe hold hee fingers up. “maybe I am getting crazier.” lisa smile sweetly.
“Oh!” jackson exclaim. Lisa heard jackson walk over to her side. Lisa looks up at him and see his jaw has dropped, his eyes threatening to pop out of his head.
“What!
Lisa what were you thinking?you tell me to move on but here you're breaking your own advice.” He yells and turns to look at you, his face red. “What the fuck is this? Why the fuck would you do this?just for that bitch who don't care about you huh?
Lis you're not like this baby!!!”
“Oh? Haven’t you heard? I am crazy jackson.” lisa says smugly. “That handsome friends of yours, what’s his name?if she can fuck somebody then I'll do the same and I'll announced her in the phone. ” lisa taps her chin and start to pace the length of the room twice.
“Think, think, think. Oh! Felix is it? He is very hot isn’t he.” His face goes white as snow. Jackson clenches his jaw and his hands become fists. Lisa looks down at his hands—he wouldn’t hit you. Right?
“Oh don’t give me that fucking shit jacky. You think I will just silent?I've to move on right maybe he is the one.” lisa yells at him. “How could you? I’m trying to help you! And you're destroying yourself to that unworthy bitch. ” lisa feels her throat start to get tight and hot.
“All that time, wasted. And for what? A side piece. Three years out the window. What the fuck is that lisa? Listen to me lis.you're better than anybody else okay?
I'll promise I'll move on but you've to move on with me.” Jackson's voice was desperate and he searched lisa's face which isn’t looking at him.
“Now you can’t look at me? You can only look at me when you’re fucking lying? Look at me!you are not going to be lovesick puppy anymore.” jackson yella. Lisa knows she should be taking it easy and all but come on. Lisa slowly raises her face. He turns slowly back to face lisa. The tears lisa tried to keep in spill out violently.
“I’m so sorry, jacky. I am so so so sorry.i am just a coward.” lisa whispers.
“I can’t find it in my heart to forgive jennie right now. I don’t want her here. Get her shit off the and take her away from me. I can’t even look at her.but i know i don't have rights.jacky am i even worthy of love? ” lisa turns her back on him.
“I- I baby please-” he starts to plead.
“No! Just get away from me before I start considering hurting myself. I don’t want to talk. I hope i can end this anger and frustration but how can i?
I am an unworthy bitch.” lisa sits on the bed with her head in her hands. The last thing she hears was jackson slapping lisa's cheeks hard.
"Who are you to decide of hurting yourself huh?
It's not your life to decide your mom dad is alive to decide for you.
I am here for you.so what Jennie doesnot love you back huh?
you've so many people who loves you unconditionally.
You're loved more that one.
You owe jisoo unnie and chaeyoung an apology of leaving them alone in Seoul.
You have to clear dispatch rumour.
You've to shoot for your solo.
Your fans owe alot to you.
Being an idol was your dream lisa.
Not being lover of Jennie was your dream.
You give up way more endorsements to Jennie shines but now you've to shine for us who loves you forever.
Lisa it's time for you to let go of Jennie Kim forever."
Lisa intently heard it and began to remember her real dream of coming Korea.
She realized Jennie was just a distraction her major aim was to be the kpop queen.
This time she didnot shed any tears.
"Pack my bags Jackson.I am going Seoul back."
I have my dreams to fulfil now.
YOU ARE READING
Control lili
Fanfiction"Baby why are you doing this to me? why are you hurting this much please speak." "No, we're not doing this anymore unnie." If you wanna know about the story please read kindly.
